advice and opinions please!?

Comments

• debs

  January 2011

  Di you think you can forgive him and trust him again not to be like this? If so try and work on it I don't think I could if my husband cheated on me to many couples try to be together after something like that but they van never let it go and move on making family life worse then if they split up
• mommyof3

  January 2011

  My thoughts exactly. I'm not sure if I can trust him again he has never done anything like this before. It tearing me up and I don't think the stress is good for me because I'm pregnant or my other two kids. Honestly this in a way has brought us closer but I think we would be better friends then spouses. Thanks for ur advice debs I appreciate it.
• debs

  January 2011

  It seems like you know what's best but its hard to go through with it. You can try separation and maybe the time away from each other will see if that's truly the right thing before divorce. Good luck and hope you have a great pregnancy
• MrsHudson11

  January 2011

  It is very difficult to end things with someone you've been with for years, especially when you have children with them. However, in my opinion (which I usually don't give but you asked for them) it would be dangerous for you to stay with this man. It is one thing to be unfaithful, it is something totally different to be unfaithful and irresponsible. He obviously didn't use a condom with whoever he cheated with and even worse passed an std to you. Luckily, this time it was something you can cure. Who is to say next you will be so lucky? A marriage is supposed to make you feel safe. Its supposed to be where there are no doubts or at the very least no doubts about whether or not your safe from disease. I am in no way telling you what to do, this is simply my opinion. Its important to protect yourself because your husband doesn't seem too concerned about your safety because he slept with someone unprotected and then did the same with you without getting tested first. Good luck with your situation. I truly hope it works out for the best and in you and your childrens favor.
• babybumpers

  January 2011

  U may b able to forgive but hunny trust me u will never forget. I have been in ur situation and I chose to give him another chance. We r still together and luckily I didn't get an std. Its been over a year now and although we r still together there isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about what he did to me in one way or another. Every time he doesn't answer my phone call or comes home a little late, or basically goes anywhere that I'm not with him I am questioning his loyalty and faithfulness. No matter how much time passes or how hard I try I can't seem to move past it. I love him very much but I don't know that I will ever b able to trust him again. It will
  eat at u and drive u crazy. u need to really consider going through this when u make ur decision. It honestly sucks. And lastly u said that this was the first time he did this, R u sure? We really don't know how many times they cheat, we only know how many times we catch them. I wish u the best with what u decide. I know its gonna b hard but try not to stress too much cause it isn't good for the baby.
• mommyof3

  January 2011

  Thanks for the advice girls I appreciate each opinion as well n thanks for sharing ur similar story I don't know what I will choose to do but I think before I do something as extreme as a divorce we r doing counciling and a lie detector test
• dad2b

  January 2011

  I'm a man and I think this is bang out of order maybe he didn't trust u so went with someone because he thought u were doing the same but had being with you 7 years he shud no by now. Don't trust him throw him away and come to a mutual agreement if he proves himself and treats you well enough that you think you can have him back in your life go for it. "they say" if he does it once he will do it again.
• MrsLaMaster

  January 2011

  I was in almost the same boat, I was with my ex now for ten years,, he cheated on me then promised never to do it again I tried to put it behind me an move on together, I thought it was something I did but a year went by I got prego everthing seemed fine he got a job we got a apartment, but when my daughter was 4 I went to his familys house to hang out and well they pretty much told me he was cheating, his boss was even lieing for him saying he was busy at work but he wasnt even there, I packef his stuff an put it out side he moved stright into her house,,, then it hit me, it wasnt my falt an if I wasnt happy my daughter wasnt going to be either, for a year after I kept tryin to make it work for my daughter but he kept cheatig I finilly learned my leason the hard way but thats how most of us learn,, but after 4 years ive never been happyer im married to a new wounderfull man an we have my second baby on the way.... I hope u find a way to live happy to ,, what ever ur choice is,, this was just my story,,
• MrsLaMaster

  January 2011

  She was 4 months when I found out sorry it just said 4
• mommyof3

  January 2011

  Thanks! And I know once a cheater always a cheater but my doctor said that's not always true and to believe that is just ignorance but I have to admit I am a strong believer in once a cheat always a cheat I just wish he would have cheated on me before we got married maybe I wouldn't feel so bad I know it wasn't my fauly in any way I never did anything to make him not trust me as a matter of fact we weren't even having any relationship issues at all and all of the sudden he started mentally and physically abusing me and neglecting the children we have I had to ask my mom and his mother to help me buy diapers because I was a full time student at the time I wasn't working oh and I forgot to mention that in the midst of all this chaos I lost a baby because of all the stress I was under
• Kmose77

  January 2011

  Sounds like just an all around bad situation. If nothing else get out of the situation for now. Take some time. I'm never one to say divorce but sounds like something is up. If he's suddenly acting sooo crazy. You need to get to the heart of the issue. In the mean time you need to step back.get your priorities and desires figured out. And is he a healthy roll model for your k kids on a day to day? Good luck. Take care of those babies first! Love can overcome any thing. But it has to be mutual..
• FirstTimeDaddy

  January 2011

  wow harsh. but I really think the best thing is for u to b strong n move on on ur own. dont stay for the kids. that doesn't work. cuz what the other girls were sayin is tru. will u b able to forgive him n trust him. u need to do whats best for u
• VictoriaB

  January 2011

  I saw my parents do the same thing. My dad constantly cheated on my mom all thru my life. When I was 12 she finally had enough and kicked him out. The messed up thing is that she made me help her pack up his stuff and throw it outside. My advice is split up now and never look back. I like what babybumpers said.
• bummy87

  January 2011

  if it where me, he'd be gone kids or no kids once I could get over but again just to he would be like saying I fit away with.it the first time so I'm gonna keep doing it just like a child but ultimately it us you.who lives with it not me so all the best to you
• ScarlettsMama

  January 2011

  Honestly why in the world would he ever want to put u and your baby at risk like that, its very selfish! If my husband cheated on me i don't believe i could ever look him in the eye again. ..a husbands job is to love u and protect u from being hurt, not hurt u... I'm sorry your going through this but if u try and work it out u have to make the decision to let it go completely because dwelling will only hurt u. And let him know who's boss and that it can't happen again!
• mommyof3

  January 2011

  Thanks everyone I think I'm going to boot him cause I think there r still things he's keeping from me and I won't be able to trust him again