You know what?! MAYBE...
JUST MAYBE! I DON'T CARE ABOUT WHAT YOU HAVE GOING ON RIGHT NOW!
I know that sounds bad... and I know everyone has problems that they go through every single day. But some people's problems are notably worse than others. And so I say that if your issue is just a bunch of temporary drama, it's PROBABLY best not to take your issues to someone whose problems are worse than your own, especially if their problems are more of a permanent issue.
I'm at the point where I am sick and tired of being the "caring friend" and "the one who always lends and ear" or "the shoulder to cry on"... Because not only do I have to be strong for me, my baby, and my parents, but now I've gotta be strong for the entire rest of the world too? Because, you know, losing your illegal relationship is SO much more traumatic than my daughter potentially having severe problems or not even being viable outside the womb. My friend was explaining to me why he and his 16 year old girlfriend were breaking up (he's 22, and potentially has a 1.5 year old son with a mutual friend of ours), and he's going through the "Karma's getting me back for every bad thing I've done!" process of dealing. And I talked to him about it, calmed him down some, and then made the comment: "Why do I have to get so down right before ice cream gets here?
" and he said, "Lol. Why ya down?" And I responded "That's not really a question if you think about it." What was his FIRST response? "Me??" "Uhm, no." "Oh, the Evelynn thing?" "Yeah." REALLY?! When I called him to let him know what the doctors said about her, we talked about her for maybe 5 minutes... the rest of the 30 minute phone call was all about his drama with the potential baby (who probably isn't his anyway, but just might be). I dealt with that, no problem. He's got problems too, you know? And he's a close friend. And I care about him. So I try to help him deal and cope. Over the past few days, I've talked to him off and on about his situation... my daughter has yet to come up again. But REALLY?! Are you REALLY that selfish that you completely forget what my problem is and think everything's ALL ABOUT YOU?!
On top of that, my sister and my aunt are SO DAMN NARCISSISTIC that it's driving me CRAZY! My aunt and sister have BOTH called my mother under the pretenses of checking up on me, and then launched into a long-winded "Well, let me tell you about MY problems!" Granted, my aunt's ex (who she has a restraining order against, mind you...) is now paralyzed from... somewhere?... down, I don't even know. But here's the thing... SHE ISN'T EVEN SUPPOSED TO BE WITHIN A 10 MILE RADIUS OF HIM!!! (and vise versa). So a) why does she know? and b) why does she care? and c) what in the world makes her think my mother would care right now? She blatantly hates the guy. My sister's drama is just that... drama. Even though my mother and father have EXPLICITLY told her that they cannot afford to give her MORE gas money (that she *completely* spent in 4 days when she KNEW she had to get back and forth to work for 2 weeks on the 2 tanks of gas my parents provided), she called me this morning to visit under the pretenses of just a visit.... and then, as soon as my parents were awake, started talking about how she needed gas and couldn't get home to her baby and kept talking about how she didn't have any money til she got paid (new job) and blah blah blah... TOTAL GUILT TRIP. So my dad put more gas in her car. Then she immediately left to go back home. She'll be back later tonight, however, to drop off her son so we can babysit him for free for her. I'm so sick of my sister telling me over and over how much my parents DON'T help her, how mom guilted her into keeping her son instead of getting an abortion... I'm completely sick of it! And on top of that, she asked me how I was handling everything, and then proceeded to interrupt me every 5 seconds to show me this, that, or the other on her new-found medical insurance (because she's got *real* insurance and not *state*... uhm, hello? I'm on state. Thanks for rubbing it in.) even though I'm only trying to answer her previous question. But, of course, the topic isn't about her, so she loses interest EXTREMELY quickly.
My aunt is 47 and my sister is nearly 27. Why in the world do they think it's okay to act this way?! (oh, and my aunt doesn't work. My grandmother takes care of her. Right down to washing her laundry, paying her bills, and buying her every little thing she asks for... even though my grandmother is 75, and works 60+ hours a week just to support herself and my aunt).
UGH. Sorry this is so long, I just needed to get it off my chest. If no one reads it, that's fine. I'm just so sick of dealing with everyone else's bullshit drama when I've got *real* problems to deal with. The bad thing is that I am quite tired of talking about my problems... I only do so when people ask, or they don't know and they say something about being excited about my daughter being here (meaning they don't know the problems). I don't like people thinking everything is going to be okay, because I don't want them to get mad at me for "not telling them" if/when something really does happen. And I'm just sick of being there for everyone else when they don't seem to want to be there for me. Saying "I'm sorry! You're strong." is easy... actually talking through a problem with someone isn't.
I know that sounds bad... and I know everyone has problems that they go through every single day. But some people's problems are notably worse than others. And so I say that if your issue is just a bunch of temporary drama, it's PROBABLY best not to take your issues to someone whose problems are worse than your own, especially if their problems are more of a permanent issue.
I'm at the point where I am sick and tired of being the "caring friend" and "the one who always lends and ear" or "the shoulder to cry on"... Because not only do I have to be strong for me, my baby, and my parents, but now I've gotta be strong for the entire rest of the world too? Because, you know, losing your illegal relationship is SO much more traumatic than my daughter potentially having severe problems or not even being viable outside the womb. My friend was explaining to me why he and his 16 year old girlfriend were breaking up (he's 22, and potentially has a 1.5 year old son with a mutual friend of ours), and he's going through the "Karma's getting me back for every bad thing I've done!" process of dealing. And I talked to him about it, calmed him down some, and then made the comment: "Why do I have to get so down right before ice cream gets here?
" and he said, "Lol. Why ya down?" And I responded "That's not really a question if you think about it." What was his FIRST response? "Me??" "Uhm, no." "Oh, the Evelynn thing?" "Yeah." REALLY?! When I called him to let him know what the doctors said about her, we talked about her for maybe 5 minutes... the rest of the 30 minute phone call was all about his drama with the potential baby (who probably isn't his anyway, but just might be). I dealt with that, no problem. He's got problems too, you know? And he's a close friend. And I care about him. So I try to help him deal and cope. Over the past few days, I've talked to him off and on about his situation... my daughter has yet to come up again. But REALLY?! Are you REALLY that selfish that you completely forget what my problem is and think everything's ALL ABOUT YOU?!On top of that, my sister and my aunt are SO DAMN NARCISSISTIC that it's driving me CRAZY! My aunt and sister have BOTH called my mother under the pretenses of checking up on me, and then launched into a long-winded "Well, let me tell you about MY problems!" Granted, my aunt's ex (who she has a restraining order against, mind you...) is now paralyzed from... somewhere?... down, I don't even know. But here's the thing... SHE ISN'T EVEN SUPPOSED TO BE WITHIN A 10 MILE RADIUS OF HIM!!! (and vise versa). So a) why does she know? and b) why does she care? and c) what in the world makes her think my mother would care right now? She blatantly hates the guy. My sister's drama is just that... drama. Even though my mother and father have EXPLICITLY told her that they cannot afford to give her MORE gas money (that she *completely* spent in 4 days when she KNEW she had to get back and forth to work for 2 weeks on the 2 tanks of gas my parents provided), she called me this morning to visit under the pretenses of just a visit.... and then, as soon as my parents were awake, started talking about how she needed gas and couldn't get home to her baby and kept talking about how she didn't have any money til she got paid (new job) and blah blah blah... TOTAL GUILT TRIP. So my dad put more gas in her car. Then she immediately left to go back home. She'll be back later tonight, however, to drop off her son so we can babysit him for free for her. I'm so sick of my sister telling me over and over how much my parents DON'T help her, how mom guilted her into keeping her son instead of getting an abortion... I'm completely sick of it! And on top of that, she asked me how I was handling everything, and then proceeded to interrupt me every 5 seconds to show me this, that, or the other on her new-found medical insurance (because she's got *real* insurance and not *state*... uhm, hello? I'm on state. Thanks for rubbing it in.) even though I'm only trying to answer her previous question. But, of course, the topic isn't about her, so she loses interest EXTREMELY quickly.
My aunt is 47 and my sister is nearly 27. Why in the world do they think it's okay to act this way?! (oh, and my aunt doesn't work. My grandmother takes care of her. Right down to washing her laundry, paying her bills, and buying her every little thing she asks for... even though my grandmother is 75, and works 60+ hours a week just to support herself and my aunt).
UGH. Sorry this is so long, I just needed to get it off my chest. If no one reads it, that's fine. I'm just so sick of dealing with everyone else's bullshit drama when I've got *real* problems to deal with. The bad thing is that I am quite tired of talking about my problems... I only do so when people ask, or they don't know and they say something about being excited about my daughter being here (meaning they don't know the problems). I don't like people thinking everything is going to be okay, because I don't want them to get mad at me for "not telling them" if/when something really does happen. And I'm just sick of being there for everyone else when they don't seem to want to be there for me.
Saying "I'm sorry! You're strong." is easy... actually talking through a problem with someone isn't.
Comments
Its time to put your foot down.... even with family.... take care hun.. and hold your pretty head high... you have an amazing group if ladies here to help support you and give advice when needed ...