Okay Preglys, I know I've been neglecting you, but I need to talk to someone!
as most of you know, i had my baby on august 24th. everything was great, well as great as things could be for a new parent running off of 4 hours of sleep per day, lol. well, my fiance' and i hit a rough spot in our relationship, again. i saw that he was sexually joking with another woman, who's a friend of his, and i took offense to it. it wasn't some joke about sex, or anything like that, but he was "joking" about teasing her with his tounge. the girl is disgusting. she sleeps with anyone and everyone, and gave my step dad's cousin gonnorea (sp). now, all of this is happening almost 2 weeks after i gave birth. made me feel real great about myself, let me tell ya. i brought it up to him, and told him i was leaving. i'm not going to be disrespected like that. after we talked about it, he agreed to do anything to make it right, and admitted he didn't think he was doing anything wrong, until i explained to him what it was like from my point of view. now we're working out the kinks of our relationship & building everything back up. honestly, everything's going pretty good. he's putting forth his all, i can give him that. well, his ex wife somehow found out about us being on rocky grounds, and decides she's going to start her shit about him being a "bad dad" to their daughter because he refuses to give her cash. any money she wants HAS to go through child support & be accounted for, because we CAN'T afford to pay her child support plus "loan" her money, as she calls it. it's more like giving her money, because we never get it back. i don't even feel comfortable paying her child support, because she doesn't even work. she quit her job about 4 months ago, because she wanted a summer off. now summer is over, and she's making different excuses. her boyfriend has been paying for everything, and the first thing we hear from her is how much he brings home a month because he works overseas. if he makes so damn much, why are we giving her $250 a month, when we only bring home about $800 together, and we have a new baby to take care of & our own damn bills to pay!?! i've got so much on my plate right now! this is ridiculous. we're having to go out of our way next month, take days off work, etc, to make a 4 hour trip to get the child support reassessed so we can actually afford to pay it. ughhh! i have a feeling i'm going to lose my mind very, very soon..
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@1stwoodsbaby i'm hoping the same thing. i think taking a break from it all will do me some good.
@usafwife_21 i honestly don't know how i'm dealing with it. it happened on monday, and at first all i could do was cry. i didn't know what to do with myself, but seeing him putting forth SO much effort to make things right now kinda eases the pain. my mind will still wander to it & i'll get upset, but i'm managing somehow. but, his ex does need to get a job or something. don't get me wrong, i understand child support is for his daughter, not his ex, but how could i not feel like we're supporting her when she doesn't have a job, ya know? now she's pulling the "your new baby gets treated better than your first daughter does" BS, when everyone treats both of them exactly the same. she's SO childish, and it's VERY annoying.
@newmomma13 at first, my fiance' was doing the same thing. eventually, it pissed me off so i jumped his ass and asked how the hell could he possibly be mad at me. i didn't do anything wrong, and if he's pissed off that i found out about it, then he shouldn't be doing it in the first place. then he changed his tune & said that he wasn't mad at me, he was mad at himself for being an idiot. that was more like it. seeing your partner do something like that does screw with your self esteem, but men refuse to see it for some reason. we have to keep ourselves up, men don't. so they can't comprehend how something like that effects us. hopefully your boyfriend will start being nicer & work on himself!
@pinkigirl i remember my mom doing the same thing to me with my half sister from my dad, so maybe it is an ex thing. i just hope his ex doesn't make his daughter resent the new baby, because that's the last thing i want.
@newmomma13 well see, this has happened between my fiance' and i before about a month and a half before my due date, and i told him he needed to get his shit together, because me and the baby aren't something he needs to be taking for granted, because we aren't promised to him, and i can leave at any given moment. so he straightened up between then & the time i had the baby. but then not 2 weeks after i had her, he's back at it again. so i told him exactly what you just said, if you want to be with me, be with me, if not don't drag me along for nothing. i guess he realized that we aren't here forever, and i'm hoping this week apart will remind him how life was without me or the baby here. have you thought about trying something like that? i think that would be the only way to honestly know how he feels.