Baby's father is not supportive. advice pls?!

oc86oc86
edited February 2011 in October 2011
We were together for 2 yrs, broke up beginning of January, found out I was pregnant beginning of Feb. He's only 20 and says he can't have a kid, that he wants out, dnt do this to him (pretty much tellin me to get an abortion). Since he knows now for sure I'm of course keepin it, he keeps on with "its the end of the world" type thing. It really hurts me cuz I honestly never imagined this would be his reaction & I cry myself to sleep everynight. What can I say to him or do u think he's jus goin thru a shock phase & eventually come around? Has anyone else been in a similar situation?

Comments

  • JlnJln
    If he was supportive in the beginning then its probably just jitters cause of his age he's gonna freak out a little just give him space or have him watch fatherly movies and he will come around
  • oc86oc86
    Like when we were together we talked about havin kids later in life, when he'd be around 23-24. But then we broke up & tada! I unexpectedly became pregnant. I knew he'd be upset about it but I never imagined this. It really sux. Not once since we found out has he asked me how I'm feelin, if I need anything, NOTHIN. I feel so lonely. I really hope its jus jitters and that they go away soon.
  • laconteaulaconteau
    I'm thinking maybe he will ease up once the baby is here. He sounds a little nervous, however when men are afraid they do crazy stuff so my advice is be prepared for anything. He may jus walk out and while I'm praying he doesn't I don't wanna see u unpreprared. I really think he is assuming that he has to grow up and a be a father and mayb he's afraid of that....being responsible or being tied down...whatever the case I would say be strong and don't let him get to u. Act like it doesn't bother u and continue to be happy and enjoy ur pregnancy
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  • elyandanthonyelyandanthony
    Im goin thru the same 3 yrs with d guy got preggo he was happy round january he told me he got sum1 else n he left me n starting denyin our baby. I cried every nite when he did dat i lost my self. He made me feel worthless but now im 18 weeks n im happy now we ended i deserve a good man not a cheater or a liar. I got my family support n i kno its hard but my child wont need a "father" like that. Ill b d mom n dad . If u need to vent with ne just inbox me ill b ur support ok?
  • coolbabybeanscoolbabybeans
    Your babies daddys have no right to be mad its not like you impregnated yourself. You ladies deserve the best most wonderful men in your lives. And I believe everything happens for a reason. Maybe this is a wake up call for the guys in your lives and/or maybe its a test for you. You are all strong and beautiful and can do anything you don't need a man bringing you down as sad and lonely as it may seem now, soon your gonna have a beautiful baby to take care of and that's all that will matter.
    *hugs* and best wishes.
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  • oc86oc86
    Like I know when it comes to the baby itself, he's gonna be there. But he doesn't understand that even tho we're not together, I still need him throughout the pregnancy, for the support. I feel so alone & neglected by him, I jus never imagined havin to deal with this. Thank u ladies for the advice & to know that I'm not the only one dealing with this!
  • happy2bhappy2b
    When we found out he wanted me to get and abortion and I refused and gave him the choice of being there I didn't force him I told him that was his decision and whatever he choices he has to live with...he came to my first appt. And just started crying and telling me he couldn't wait to take care of his child and that's all he talks about...hoping it stays this way...it was devastating tho when he told me he was gna leave me...best wishes to u girl!
  • fb24vfb24v
    Ive posted this in two different discussions but I'm venting and need as much support as possible sorry for my repeative post here is my story: unexpected also and unplanned had a one night stand while still with my boyfriend I was really drunk that night and now my boyfriend and I are on pins and needles he wants me but not the baby even though the father doesn't want to be involved. BTW my boyfriend can't have children that's why he knows it's not his. We were together 4 years no baby and one one night stand and I'm pregnant. I've been crying a lot but I'm having my baby wheater he stays or not I've just become so dependent on him financially I'm scared to be a single mom. Before this happened we planned on getting married and trying to conceive through IVF using his sperm from a sperm bank since I'm fertile and have no problems conceiving as you can see. Now he has thrown marriage and kids out the window I'm 24 he's 60. Any suggestions?
  • chutson3chutson3
    Go find a man who wants you and ur baby... ya ok a mistake was made big deal, if he truly loved you he would love you and take care if you just the same...

    But fir the actual poster ... just tell him you didn't make the baby on your own it wasn't just your idea to not use protection and he knew the consicences (so) so your not going to raise the baby on your own he can either be there and enjoy the life that he has created of he can be there financially through child support ... his choice.


    Good luck to you both.
  • mommy2be92mommy2be92
    My guy freaked out for like a month and a half and now he's the best he's always wanting to pick me up now and rub my belly
  • ashesashes
    I hope he comes around. I feel like that quote from the movie Juno describes it almost perfectly — a woman becomes a mother when she gets pregnant, a man becomes a father when he sees the baby.

    And really, 23 is only a few years away, maybe he will come around with time. Its similar with me, I thought 25-26 was the perfect age for me, I'm 23. I just keep telling myself its only a couple years difference, I can make it through the next couple years...
  • fb24vfb24v
    Thanks so much for the support!
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