anyone who has lost a baby

mommy_drmommy_dr
edited September 2011 in Loss
I lost my daughter when I was 15 ( i am getting ready to turn 21), It is one of the hardest things I have been through in my life. I have learned to live with the pain and the void. to this day I have my good days and my bad. I made her a website to help me. http://www.freewebs.com/stormy_marie/ I hard time around her birthday and due date. Every year for her birthday I let go purple balloons for how old she would be. Does anyone who lost a baby do anything to remember their birthday?
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Comments

  • MommyofAngelsMommyofAngels
    @their_mommy For my first baby I lost, I just have a day to myself and think about him or her. For my second one my due date was Oct 15 for this year and I know Im going to have a hard time that day, but I think Im going to let off a lantern for him or her.
  • PinkigirlPinkigirl
    I buy cupcakes for my son & I. This year my husband (we got married in june) will be included. Michael would be 2 september 21st. My son is 7, so we remember michael together. Last year I took my husband (just bf then) to michaels grave. It's sad but I figure noah is a gift from michael.
  • mommy_drmommy_dr
    @MommyofAngels I always thought it would get easier over the years yet I always find myself getting depressed every year around that time
  • Babynewyear2012Babynewyear2012
    I just lost my baby girl Addison 3 weeks ago. She was born at 22 weeks. I am not sure how I am going to get through this pain. I feel like my life ended with her...i am sure I will do something on her due date and every year for her birthday...i just wish I could get passed today!
  • MommyofAngelsMommyofAngels
    @their_mommy Not a day goes by that I dont think about babies, especially the one I lost in February.. Im always thinking to myself, you should be pregnant right now....
  • PinkigirlPinkigirl
    You will. Trust me. Yes sometimes it's hard , and I know you will cry a lot. She was yours. But you can make it thu! Michael passed at 22 weeks, I cannot celebrate in april when I saw him. But I do celebrate his short life in september. Remember your love and smile. Keep going. It gets easier with time.
  • mommy_drmommy_dr
    @Babynewyear2012 I lost my daughter at 22 weeks also. I am here if you need anything. It gets a little easier after the time goes on but it will always hurt like hell and you will always feel a little void in your heart. Try making a website for her. No one visits mine anymore but its somewhere I can go when I am having a hard day and its a way i still feel connected to her.
  • Babynewyear2012Babynewyear2012
    I hope it gets easier! I have the most vivid dreams I have ever had. Her nursery is complete and full of stuff for her...the room is closed off but I know it is all hers and in there. I love her so much and I promised god I would be the best mommy ever but he did not give me a chance...i am so heart broken!!
  • mamiRaquelmamiRaquel
    We lost our son 6 days old, on Nov 11 he will be 3 years old in heaven :') we do a balloon release on his birthday w family n friends and I also do a mass for him at our church where we all meet n after go to his resting spot n sing him happy birthday than release his balloons. Everyone brings a baloon. His first bday he had over 50 balloons sent to heaven :) n I plan on continuing this to save his memory which is all I have ... Rip Nathaniel.
  • mommy_drmommy_dr
    @Babynewyear2012 It does. I had a really hard time with losing my daughter I tried to commit suicide because I just wanted to be with her ( I don't recommend that at all and to get help if you even think about it) I also had everything up and ready for her and was just getting used to the idea of being a teen mom and for the longest time I blamed God on why I lost her. Just remember he wont give you more than you can handle we might not understand the reason now nor may we ever. It took me forever to be able to go into her room and go through things and I had a hard time getting rid of stuff because it was suppose to be for her but I knew I couldn't keep everything. Don't let anyone rush you through the process though. It takes time to heal in your own way. I learned to for me talking about her helped me a lot
  • mommy_drmommy_dr
    @mamiRaquel did you lose him when he was 6 days old? If so that had to be sooo much harder than losing a baby at the time I did =[
  • PinkigirlPinkigirl
    Oh I couldn't imagine loosing one after delivery. You are so strong @mamiRaquel! You will make it thu @Babynewyear2012. I has so many dreams about Michael. I couldn't get to him crying because he was in the ground. It almost killed me. I broke up with his dad shortly before he passed and I felt so alone. What saved me was my son. He wasnt quite 5 yet and his dad wasn't in his life all too often. The second thing was church, I started making blankets for premies. I got a letter from a mom who thanked me for the blanket. She had her daughter early and had nothing for her yet. My pastor thought the letter would help, and it did. I also march for the march of dimes. Giving to others helped me. It was all in memory of michael.
  • Babynewyear2012Babynewyear2012
    I also have a 12 year old son. He is my world but does not even want to talk about Addison. It is all very fresh to me right now and I just wish I knew how to handle it better.
  • PinkigirlPinkigirl
    Cry. It's ok to cry. You lost a child, it hurts, crying is ok for now. Cry when you want. There is no right way to get thru this. There is no wrong way either. If you feel like you want to hurt yourself, get help! But being sad, even depressed is normal. Sending you love & hugs!
  • brodysmammabrodysmamma
    I'm so sorry for your losses. I have not personally lost my baby but my brother and his fiance just lost their baby less then 2 weeks ago. She was 20 weeks when baby passed. I feel awful for not being able to be there for my brother.He moved to California and I am in Washington and I just don't know what to say to comfort him or his finance. :( my heart goes out to all of you. You all have perfect angels looking over you and your families.
  • brodysmammabrodysmamma
    Fiance not finance.
  • mandac10mandac10
    Aww... om so sorry for u ladies. Last november I had a MC. I hate how people act like a MC isn't a big deal... it hurts all the same especially when uve been trying to get pregnant. I don't even know how far along I was when I MC... I was already loosing it when I found out I was pregnant! Ill never forget when that test said pregnant I ran out of our bathroom screaming and crying I was so excited!my husband started crying too. Less then two weeks later we found out we lost it. It was the worse feeling ever! My husband and I were both hurting so bad over the next few months. We wernt the same after that. Then a few months later we found out I was pregnant again. There wernt any tears of joy no hugs no laughing. We were both scared to death! We wondered if our marriage could survive another loss like we had before. Ever time I went to the bathroom I was so scared id see blood it was horrible! After the first trimester we relaxed a bit and started telling our friends and family that lived further away. We've had a few scares. Like at 17 weeks a doc told me I lost my plug and was in labor... mt husband and I both cried our eyes out on the half hr drive to the hospital. Just to get a quick pap and told ull get a call in three days to tell u if ur leaking or not! Wtf!? I never even got a call back! Luckily now I found a good doctor lol! Well now im at risk for preterm labor and the baby may have ds. O refuse to get fluid out because the risks it poses to the baby. Im also 32 weeks now and everything is looking great! I still am so scared something is going to happen. That fear wont ever go away even after birth! Lol! Saturday my husband and I set up our crib and we r slowly getting ready foe our baby. One thing that hurts though is when our lil Phillip comes it will b around the one year mark when we MC. It hurts I still wonder what if I still miss my baby I lost even though he probably didn't even have a heartbeat or anything... my husband and I shortly after we MC went out. I seen this lil glass sea turtle on a stand and lost it. I cried so harpeople were staring at me. My husband went in a bought it right away. Out of 100 different turtles that's the one that got me. Its how I remember my baby. Even though he was just a little blob of cells when he left me I still love and miss him like he was fully grown. Sorry so long I don't think I ever went into full detail of that. Feels good. It was very hard time in my life. Ty for listening ladies.
  • mandac10mandac10
    Sorry so long I was balling.my eyes out n couldn't shut up lol!
  • mamiRaquelmamiRaquel
    @their_mommy yes he was 6 days old when he went to heaven. We got to hear him cry open his eyes n even change a poopy diaper but when he left all the dreams and hopes we had for him left w him. My heart still hurts for him but I have come to realise I have to live w the pain of not having him in my arms. N I know he watches over his big brother n soon to be little sister. But dealing w his loss was very hard . I also had a miscarriage a year before he was born n that hurt me a lot too I was 11 weeks. So we waited on him to be born w so many dreams but his life was cut short :( now almost 3 years later we expecting our new bundle of joy w happiness but at the same time its bitter sweet.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User]
    We do balloons on our daughters birthday and sons. We also eat the food o craved when I was pregnant with them.

    @mandac10 when I first lost my daughter I was so mad that they classified it as a miscarriage. I felt like it was different because she was big enought to be born that it was some how worse then losing a baby early. Then with this pregnancy I hemoraged real bad at 6 weeks. All I could think of was that if I lost this baby how would I remember it. At home I had such beautiful boxes with my childrens things. Their foot prints their handcasts, photos, little clothes and blankets. I survived my worst days cuddleing those boxes. I would have nightmares they were cold and I would wrap those boxes up and sleep with them to keep them warm. I had them both creamated and could visit where we spred their ashes. The all of a sudden there I was bleeding out at 6 weeks and I would have nothing to comfort me. Nothing to show my family so that they would understand. Nothing. It was just as scary to me as what was happening. Nothing for my dh. I realized then that losing is baby is losing a baby it doesn't matter when. In a way I was blessed more than a mom who lost a baby at 6 weeks. I got to have mine for 18. I got to hold them hear their heart beats see them move and kiss and dress them. My very dear friend lost her baby at 3 days old. But we still relate to eachother. We are all moms who's babies can't be with us. Its devistating.

    Pregnncy after miscarriage is a weird thing that no one but people who have been through it can understand. I mean I knew women who had lost babies but until it happened to me I had no grasp of what they went through.

    @babynewyear2012 I think about you everyday. If you need to talk or vent I'm here. I still have nightmares a year later about what I went through. Its so vivid and so real. I am so sorry you have togo through this.
  • beaded_bunnybeaded_bunny
    I have 5m/c. All conceived in Oct all lost in November. I don't let my husband touch me in Oct and I get depressed through November.
    I'm hoping Bunny goes over due, shes due Sept 25th, so Oct isn't just a month of broken dreams anymore
  • Babynewyear2012Babynewyear2012
    @ll10 I have a blanket that was made for my Addison, they wrapped her in it when they handed her to me. I sleep with it everynight. They did not do her foot prints that I know of and I wish I had them! I have not been able to figure out how to inbox anybody on here. I use my email marxgrl@gmail.com. I appreciate any support I can get. My heart feels so empty everyday!
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User]
    @babynewyear2012 I emailed you.
  • 5lilangels5lilangels
    I m/c in nov of 2007 on thanksgiving day. I was 12 wks along didn't even know I was pregnant. They told me she was a girl. Summer rayne. Im now due with Leila in nov. Im hoping she comes in oct because I don't know if I can handle having her in nov.
  • mommy_drmommy_dr
    @babynewyear2012 I emailed you!
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User]
    The user and all related content has been deleted.
  • Babynewyear2012Babynewyear2012
    @their_mommy I will look for it but I havent seen anything yet. Can you resend it please cause my phone is crazy sometimes.
  • PinkigirlPinkigirl
    Its a sad club to be part of. The angel baby club. But knowing others have done it always made me feel better. Ppl who say a m/c is not a loss are wrong! When a baby is wanted & loved, it is a loss. One of my aunts, after getting pregnant now, said "well this will replace that other one." I still can't talk to her. @Babynewyear2012, all my love. I'm here if you need to talk & on fb
  • cmarie324xocmarie324xo
    I've had 2 miscarriages in the past 5 months. The first m/c i was 8 weeks and started bleeding and on the ultrasound there was no heartbeat. The second one was a chemical pregnancy but it still hurts. I'm scared to try again. Even though I never made it far enough to know the gender or even see or hear the heartbeat it still breaks my heart. The one that I miscarried in April was due Nov. 25 only 5 days after my birthday :-( . So sorry to everyone who has ever lost a baby.
  • mommy_drmommy_dr
    @babynewyear2012 I sent you another one it's longer this time because I'm not on my phone, if it's not in your email check your spam folder. @all I have face book, feel free to add me.@cmarie324xo it doesn't matter how far you got those are your babies and it still hurts like hell no matter what!
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