@their_mommy I got it. I have to go to the doctor this morning. As if he hasnt done enough for me he left part of my cerclage in my cervix and it may be infected!
I lost a baby in April of this year. Its the hardest thing I have ever been through and still going through. I had some of his ashes blown into a glass pendant that I wear. Im sure I will do something on his birthday each year. I was due this month so its been especially hard again.
@babynewyear2012, I am doing ok. I take it one day at a time. I had a friendship bracelett fall off my arm on monday. I was so sad. I had that on when I was pregnant. I wrote down your email so I am going to email you probably tomorrow
I just wanted to say to you all, all your stories have changed my life. First when I got pregnant I was so scared, and I will admit cuz of my mom, mc wasn't as big as losing a born child. But because of all you ladies and my wonderful blessing of a baby girl that all changed, I don't know how I would live on if I lost Adrian or any other baby. I think I would be devastated. You are all very strong. Thank you and I wish you the most baby dust and healthy beautiful babies. p.s. I am crying so hard right now.
i lost babies one at 5 weeks of being pregnant when i was 15 and another was a stillborn i was 16 I try not to recollect memories out in the open but deep inside i still think about my babygirl and how i am a totally different person because of her by the way these babies were all from the same guy who is my husband now before anyone wants to jump the gun on me...i know pregly's been hectic
@mamato2boys, I am sorry for losses. I cant imagine loosing two babies. I hope and pray my next pregnancy is healthy and full term. @krazymomofadrian. Thank you. It has been very hard. I just take it one day at a time.
@krazymomofadrian Thank you! 1. For the kind words, it is hard but the ladies on here give me much support 2. Thank you for not leaving pregly! Loosing a baby is so hard, I honestly never knew it was possible to hurt so bad!
@mamato2boys So sorry for your losses. No judgement from this group hun!
thanks ladies i think this is the first time i have actuallly said anything outside my own head.....even though its written out lol but i think that this is the mere reason i really long for a little girl....not to replace my daughter before but i feel as if this will help close a wound that has yet to heal....after all these years i still have a box of the clothes i had from her....i cant find myself to give it away.....i feel like i need to have a daughter to have closure i always wondered what a girl product of me n hubby would look like and i know hubby is scared to have a daughter too it brings memories......thinking about it chokes me up
@jodi102011 i was about 6 mts ( i dont remember the weeks) but my baby wasnt getting enough oxygen and it wasnt caught on time to do anything about it it just kind of happened all at once.....i had gone into preterm labor and dint even know it because it wasnt even painful i just felt "weird" and baby wasnt as active so i knew then that something was wrong...by the time i went in to the hopital it was too late and this like i said was like the biggest part in my LIFE that i grew up alot and this is a part in my life that i always think about......My family wasnt supportive of me at allllll my hubbys family was but when i lost her they started saying that i "faked" the pregnacy bc i didnt hubby right away when i was in hosp or when i lost her....i still dont understand y i didnt call him i was just frozen and alone and i myself couldnt even believe it that it happened....i had to be induced as if i were to give birth to a live baby but instead....it wasnt i went thru it all bymyself i still dont understand y i couldnt bring myself to tell anyone i think i was still in shock.....his family hated me bc after they saw proof that i didnt "fake" it then they moved on to think that i did it myself......yeah thats a whole other story and well although i do say i have no regrets in life i really dont but this comes to mind when i think about things.....needless to say it was just one of those things u move on from and bury the hatchet to this day i dont think they truly know the whole story and yet i dont care but thru this experience i grew up alot and i screwd my head on right and then i also realized many truths and real characters of people.....hubby and i had broken up and went insane for a bit and needless to say it made us stronger and we realized that we still loved each other i think that this was a blessing in disguise bc i know we wouldnt be together or as strong and close to each other if it werent for her (her name was Genesis ---for our first daughter like the first chapter in the bible) Me and him share a love that cannot be broken by no one
@mamato2boys, I like her name. I agree that you were in shock. I listened to my babys heartbeat an hour before he was born and he had a strong heartbeat. I also believe he was a blessing. He wouldnt of made it long had he lived and now the drs know what to do for next time. He will be my angel watching watching over his future brother or sister and his half sister now. I have to believe god had a reason to do what he did. I have not lost faith. This happening has also brought my hubby and I closer.
@jodi102011 what was the cause for your loss of your baby? how did you grieve?? I found myself crying alllllooooottttt my sister had a little girl at the time she was barely like 3 months old and i kind of coped bc of her....it helped somehow...my hubby couldnt even hold babys for a while and especially not my niece bc we would talk about what our daughter would look like and we pretty much agreed that that they would look alike......i do regret not doing anything special for her when she died...i couldnt bare see her....again....at the hospital they let me see her and she just laid there in the cart on a blanket so lifeless and yet still hopeful for so much...she was so tiny...colorless...i stared at her for a while hoping for a miracle that she would begin to breathe ....move....or open her little eyses....although it hurt my heart so much to c her she looked like an angel...in innocence and so peaceful...atleast she wasnt in pain....or suffering...i know i cried alot after like ive never cried before......ive never stopped having faith in God but i almost stopped believing bc it seemed like life itself was going down hill.......i thought about suicide (not the answer) but i was so drpressed and alone no support what so ever
I think what helped me cope and was kind of weird was that when i was prego w my 2nd son he was due on what wouldve been my daughters due date.....he was due on Jan 13th although his due date was moved to jan 23 (born 3 days late) i know shes watching over them and is proud of us.....
@their_mommy i am sorry for your loss but do know that its ok to cry and its ok to be angry and have all these emotions take over its ok and let them out do no make the mistake i did and bottle them in.....if u want to stay in touch my email is pferrer0411@gmail.com
@mamato2boys. I am trying to write you on my computer but it wont log me in. I wrote mama kat and advocate to see if they can help me. I am waiting on there reply
@mamato2boys. I did not want to tell my dh. I felt so guilty after my water broke. I only called him because we lived together and he would notice I was not homw when I was supposed to be. Once we got to the hospital I thanked him for driving me and told him he could go home. He thought I was crazy. I explained that there was no reason for him to have to go through this with me. He stayed of course after he lectured me. Thank god I wasn't alone. I told him to go home the second time as well. That time I was much more adament we ARGUED in the triage area. I was in too much pain to argure anymore after a while. I just could not imagine him watching me deliver another baby we would lose. Watching him hold them still is so painful in my mind.
@mamato2boys. The mods never got back to me about my online account so I am writing it here. I have an incometent cervix meaning its not strong enough to hold a baby. Some time during my stay I got a whole in my sac. My sac was infected and I had a bladder infection. I asked to be taken off of mag and have catheter taken out. That night Mason was born. It was so hard for me. I cried all of the time. I see a phycratrist and phycologist. I am on prozac. My baby would not of made it because of my sac being infected. It also has been hard because I have 2 close friends that just had babies. Our babies would of been 2 months apart. They both had girls. My husbnd does daycare and we had a 4 month old that I bonded with. I held him all of the time. When he went home I cried. I take one day at a time. That is all anyone can ask.
@mamato2boys. My baby also laid in a wooden crib. He was wrapped in a blanket. He looked just like me. He had my fingers and my toes. I think he looked like my nephew too. It was hard for me to look at my nephew. He is 4. He had a mohawk and I remember my husband saying he couldnt wait to see our little boy in a mohawk. I told my mom about it and she must of told my sister because now my nephew is not allowed to have a mohawk. I miss my baby every day. The hardest part for me was coming home with no baby.
@jodi10211 i was in a different situation as i was just a teen but it was so hard going back to school and everyone asking me how my baby was doing and what not i know they didnt have bad intentions but i just kind of shut down and put up a big wall and was a loner after that....i am sure word got around about what happened and i hated being the face for sympathy....i hated that i got attention and i felt so empty inside and it didnt help that i got home to my mother who was so heartless to the situation and acted as if it were my fault....she even accused me of abortion....i flet like i had a deep wound that never healed properly that everyone picke on my scab and each time it bled some more....i went thru so many mixed emotions and i know i was depressed i lost so much weight, i hardly ate, i didnt feel like i had any purpose to live any more, i almost lost my faith in God and i hated myslef for thinking so negatively about MYSELF i hated that i was ever put in that situation and everyone else.........little did i know that during this all i was pregnant already with my son who is 5 now i didnt know i was pregnant with him until i was 3 months along....they were twins.......i had the case of the "vanishing twin" and my sons twin died and was just pretty much absorbed by the placenta.......although i was still depressed finding out being preggo again kinda revived me i was scared of another sad out come and i did everything in my power to get my health back in track, i had become anemic, i was on the border line of having GD, although i had it rough and before this was a joy that no one could take away from me....My son had a scary delivery but he was full term and healthy I cant say what it was about this pregnacy but it still didnt ease the pain i had inside from losing my daughter.....it alleviated just a bit bc i knew now that nothing was wrong with me, and that sometimes these things happen....i knew my son was a miracle to ME and that i think his sister was watching over him...i know she watches over us and is my sons guardian angel i know that although we dont c the purpose in something there is one after you go through it....i feel like this has made me stronger....has made me and my husbands relationship so strong and pure...I am sure your pain cannot be taken away instantly because you have to go through a grieving process but you know your child is watching over you and your husband and he doesnt want to see you cry for him.....understand that nothing is wrong with you and that he knows you love him very much......its easier said than done but i hope that your pain can turn into something else that will let you work it out amongst your self....while i went thru my grieving process i was in a program at school that allowed me to go to middle & elemantary schools to work with special needs children and children in general to help them with either tutoring or even just to be there to talk to them bc alot of them had a broken home structure and no one to really show them that theyre cared for.....I think this is what helped me the most bc i was able to take my pain and turn it around and share the love i have for my daughter with actual kids who never got tha love or care at home
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p.s. I am crying so hard right now.
@mamato2boys So sorry for your losses. No judgement from this group hun!
@Babynewyear2012
^^^^
I think what helped me cope and was kind of weird was that when i was prego w my 2nd son he was due on what wouldve been my daughters due date.....he was due on Jan 13th although his due date was moved to jan 23 (born 3 days late) i know shes watching over them and is proud of us.....
@their_mommy i am sorry for your loss but do know that its ok to cry and its ok to be angry and have all these emotions take over its ok and let them out do no make the mistake i did and bottle them in.....if u want to stay in touch my email is pferrer0411@gmail.com