Am I wrong

momma_ericamomma_erica
edited September 2011 in Relationships
So my man decides to take some $ out of his 401k to pay mortgage & car payment through the 1st of year. After that I should be back at work so we have both full incomes back. He cashed check yesterday. Today he text me saying his ex (12 yr olds mom) called him asking him if he could "help" her get her roters fixed on her car. He pays set child support & gives her extra $ every week ( if they went back to court it would be more so he just gives it to her). I feel like he does more than his financial obligation to her & its a real big coinsidence she knows u have extra $. How she know our buisness to begin with. I feel like he is obligated to his daughter not her mom anymore & he seems to think its his place. Why she still come to u for help too, u r not her man anymore. Am I being jealous or reading more into this. Advice needed,, o yeah we still have baby stuff we need to buy!!

Comments

  • laura536laura536
    If she needs the car to take his daughter places, idk...that's a tough spot. You're probably right to feel cranky about it though. It always feels like anytime we get some extra cash something turns up and sucks it away.
  • momma_ericamomma_erica
    Just seems like she always runs to him & always tries to get more & more $ from him. She made it known she was very upset & jealous about us having a baby from the start too. To me he acts like he owes her something, he's a great dad to his d#aughter & i feel thats all he owes her
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  • momma_ericamomma_erica
    I understand that's his daughter transportation. She has a good job herself & gets $120 weekly from him for c/s. I want him to support his daughter(I have a 9yr old son who dad has never done anything). I feel like she uses him & takes advantage of him tho
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  • Nathan_n_EthansMomNathan_n_EthansMom
    I don't think he should be paying to fix her car. She's getting child support plus extra. Shouldn't she have the money to get her own car fixed. Those rotors didnt go bad overnight. and if he did give her the money so his daughter will have a ride then personally I think it should be a loan and she pay him back. Because if she didn't have him to run to and she didn't have a daughter by him, she would have had to figure out a way to fix them herself anyways. But that's just my opinion..
  • momma_ericamomma_erica
    She's so dependant on him like she wants him to provide like he did when they was together. Maybe pregnancy hormone getting to me. He says she lives above her means & tries to keep up with the Jones too much, then runs to him for help. It makes me suspicious of him tho like there's still something there. @2BeForgotten
  • blendedfamilymomblendedfamilymom
    Imo, and trust me I understand where you are coming from (i deal with my husbands kids moms and its no picnic) if he gives her child support plus extra? Then if he helps her this time it's a loan that she has to pay back. I understand the car is one that his daughter will be in and I get that times are hard, but they are hard for everyone! what if he wasnt around? She would have to borrow the money. Its amazing what u can come up with when you have no one to fall back on. Good luck tho hun hope it gets better!
  • momma_ericamomma_erica
    @ashleyfew. She acts like all the financial responsability should be on him 100%. And I'm supposed to beleave its a big coinscidence she asked the very day after he cashed that check!
  • OurlittlenuggetOurlittlenugget
    The child support is meant to supplement care of the child-food, clothing, housing, medical care and transportation. I would say no to giving her additional $ and she shouldn't ask!
  • momma_ericamomma_erica
    @Ourlittlenugget, I think she is way out of line for asking too. Even if my sons sperm donor had it I would never ask him to do that for me. I would find a way to take care of my own responsability.
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  • litababylitababy
    I would say no to giving her money to fix her car.. Not his responsibility...sounds like he is talking to her about y'all finances. Nip that in butt now, and if he respects you and your relationship he will take your feelings and opinions into consideration before agreeing to anything with her.
  • OurlittlenuggetOurlittlenugget
    Absolutely! It's her responsibility to budget her finances, not drain yours when you two have a separate family to provide for. (You're not hormonal with your feelings here.)
  • momma_ericamomma_erica
    @ashleyfew,,,my thoughts exactly. I been only drawing 40% of my pay on temp disability for last 5 months so yes it has been tight. We need shit here at home our daughter will be here no later than Oct10 & we still have lots of stuff to buy & some big items too not just lil stuff. I feel like roters may even be excuss/lie & he was already planning on giving her some $ just cause he has it. Also I know she hasn't moved on & gotten over him & I'm beginning to wonder about his feelings for her at this point
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  • momma_ericamomma_erica
    Ok I don't feel like phyco baby momma now lol. Think on going to stand my ground & ride this out all the way. Either me his children(minus needy ass baby momma) & our home are his priority & financial responsability & we can agree on that or I'm going to have to really evaluate if i want this kind of relationship.
  • momma_ericamomma_erica
    @2BeForgotten not necessarily cheating but hiding things/keeping secrets from me
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  • momma_ericamomma_erica
    @2BeForgotten I feel like the only reason he told me is because I would know the $ was missing, so felt like he had to
  • Nathan_n_EthansMomNathan_n_EthansMom
    Even if he did tell you, it still doesn't explain how she knew to ask the day of.
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  • momma_ericamomma_erica
    To be honest Idk how much he has helped her we have seperated accounts I just recently started keeping closer tabs as $ has gotten tighter & tighter for us. He is an awsome man & father & she takes total advantage of it. I know girl my son dad $111,000 behind on c/s. Being a single mom that got no help even what is court ordered its hard for me to have sympathy for her when he hoes over & beyond his responsability she should appreciate him instead of use him up & be thankful in my opinion
  • kiwi_momkiwi_mom
    I receive child support from my ex for our two children and I have never and would never ask him for more. I feel like he should say no because then it will be a reoccurring situation. Tell her to get a cash advance or something.
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