Family Vent. I dont know if going home is a great idea. LONG. VERY LONG
Sooooo yesterday I talked to my mother and today I talked to my grandma. Let me say this first, I absolutely LOVE and MISS my family like hell. No doubt about that. My grandpa is extremely sick, so every chance I get to see him is amazing. I also have a nephew whos 5 and my brother is 10. So I really miss the young ones 
Well, my husband is in the AF and he hasnt been home since last december. But his family did come and visit in April. I drove back with his parents and visited my family alone. Well, my husband has leave scheduled for next month and is really excited. Its two weeks of leave. He wasnt to schedule another week and make it 3 weeks of leave.
Back history: Our wedding planning was awful. It was my family versus his family. I mean awful name calling and blah blah blah you didnt help with this or pay for that. There was a mess because his family wanted to invite for quests than we could afford. Their limit was like 150 I think and they needed 100 more... We told them no... Huge fiasco and everyone got mad. Well, my family hasnt like them since. And it took me a year to not hate them. But my family still trash talks him family all the time. Makes me so mad. Well anyway, when we went home last december, we tried our best to stay half and half to make everyone happy. We slept more as his parents house because my husband wasnt comfortable sleeping at my sisters. We still did both, but both sides werent happy. His parents said we spend more time over there, and mine said that same about them and everyone was just mad at us... Extermely stressful!!!!!
Well I talked to my grandma today about several things... His parents set up the basement so that we could have it. They have an airmattress set up for us, a big one since I'm pregnant lol Plus its private and theres a bathroom there. I dont want to hurt my families feelings, so I said that I would stay at both again. Well, my mother says that I can stay in my brothers room... Homwever, last time they didnt have AC or heating... I was miserable... Plus my brother has a twin size bed... How are me and Matt gonna fit in that.... I would stay at my sisters... But Ill explain why that probably wont happen later! So I jsut dont know what to do.... I dont really want to stay for 3 whole weeks and deal with this shit. Its annoying as hell in all honestly.... I just want a drama free life..... I mean I'm on okay terms with my husbands parents... I'm sick of hearing about how they suck and blah blah blah...
Okay, so next about my sister.... My grandmother bought her a house that was just being built.. but got forclosed on.. So my dad spent a year fixing it up so that she could move into it.. Well my dad fixed it and my grandma sold it to her for cheap. I mean its a 3 bedroom/3 bath 2 story house thats EXTREMELY modern.... She never once said thankyou. My dad actually had tools in her garage... she threw them out onto the end of the driveway..... My sisters current boyfriend was a cop but got kicked out because of a DUI. He doesnt work and hasnt work for a long time. He sold his truck to buy a new car... and jsut drives my sisters car... dropped her off and work and everything... So he lived off my sister basically. Well now my nephew says that my sisters boyfriend wont let him go to his grandmas (who raised him til he was 3 b/c my sister was 17 and would rather drink and get high 24/7). He also said that my sisters boyfriend but soap in his mouth for cursing... They spank him and slap him instead of timeouts... They dont really act like parents should...
SOOO thats why I probably wont stay there... but I love my sister and I agree that she can be ridiculous.... To be honest... me, my sister, and my mother all need anger management... None of us have caps. We blow up fast. But anyway, thats not the only reason... They keep asking what I'm going to do when my husband deploys.. And honestly I dont really want to spend four months at home with all of this drama.... I really dont like drama... I really try and avoid it and it stresses me out! They also asked if my husband was going to reenlist in 4 years when his 6 year term is up. He works on avionics, 5 to 7 days a week 12 to 13 hour shifts... He doesnt like his job at all... and working a job you dont like with those hours is just mniserable... Well I told my grandma it depended on a lot of things, but his job wasnt easy and the hours sucked.. she said "work isnt supposed to be easy. your mom and dad work 12 hours shifts still and you dont hear them complaining..." I mean come on.. Dont bash on my husband to me. He likes working and providing for us... But he doesnt plan on staying in this if he doesnt like what hes doing... Both my parents LOVE their jobs. So its a little different... Just frustrating... They always are extremely critical over him and his family... Nothing I do is good enough.... Just sooo much stress. I know they love me and they are going to spoil the hell out of my son.... And I love then just as much and I miss them... But I reallllly want to enjoy my time home, and I know that I will just be misreable and want to go back to NC...
Soo... I dont know if I should suck it up for my husband and let his take his 3 weeks of leave... Or if I should push for just 2... I'm trying not to be selfish but I'm 26weeks pregnant... Ill be 29weeks, or 28 if we go early, and I dont know if I can handle all of it... And the doctor already okayed travel for me. The only problem is ill be having appointments every 2 weeks and we will need to work something out with them. I'm also having my baby shower at home, which is exciting! And matts friend is getting married. And then another one just got engaged! Plus, we might also see his brother(best friend) who is supposed to be coming home from Afgan on the 15th!
Just UGH. So mush stress... Its really depressing me and it makes me miserable!!!! I take a lot of baths for relaxation lol
Thanks for listening... sorry for such a long confusing story... But I feel like this huge weight has been lifted off of my chest!
Well, my husband is in the AF and he hasnt been home since last december. But his family did come and visit in April. I drove back with his parents and visited my family alone. Well, my husband has leave scheduled for next month and is really excited. Its two weeks of leave. He wasnt to schedule another week and make it 3 weeks of leave.
Back history: Our wedding planning was awful. It was my family versus his family. I mean awful name calling and blah blah blah you didnt help with this or pay for that. There was a mess because his family wanted to invite for quests than we could afford. Their limit was like 150 I think and they needed 100 more... We told them no... Huge fiasco and everyone got mad. Well, my family hasnt like them since. And it took me a year to not hate them. But my family still trash talks him family all the time. Makes me so mad. Well anyway, when we went home last december, we tried our best to stay half and half to make everyone happy. We slept more as his parents house because my husband wasnt comfortable sleeping at my sisters. We still did both, but both sides werent happy. His parents said we spend more time over there, and mine said that same about them and everyone was just mad at us... Extermely stressful!!!!!
Well I talked to my grandma today about several things... His parents set up the basement so that we could have it. They have an airmattress set up for us, a big one since I'm pregnant lol Plus its private and theres a bathroom there. I dont want to hurt my families feelings, so I said that I would stay at both again. Well, my mother says that I can stay in my brothers room... Homwever, last time they didnt have AC or heating... I was miserable... Plus my brother has a twin size bed... How are me and Matt gonna fit in that.... I would stay at my sisters... But Ill explain why that probably wont happen later! So I jsut dont know what to do.... I dont really want to stay for 3 whole weeks and deal with this shit. Its annoying as hell in all honestly.... I just want a drama free life..... I mean I'm on okay terms with my husbands parents... I'm sick of hearing about how they suck and blah blah blah...
Okay, so next about my sister.... My grandmother bought her a house that was just being built.. but got forclosed on.. So my dad spent a year fixing it up so that she could move into it.. Well my dad fixed it and my grandma sold it to her for cheap. I mean its a 3 bedroom/3 bath 2 story house thats EXTREMELY modern.... She never once said thankyou. My dad actually had tools in her garage... she threw them out onto the end of the driveway..... My sisters current boyfriend was a cop but got kicked out because of a DUI. He doesnt work and hasnt work for a long time. He sold his truck to buy a new car... and jsut drives my sisters car... dropped her off and work and everything... So he lived off my sister basically. Well now my nephew says that my sisters boyfriend wont let him go to his grandmas (who raised him til he was 3 b/c my sister was 17 and would rather drink and get high 24/7). He also said that my sisters boyfriend but soap in his mouth for cursing... They spank him and slap him instead of timeouts... They dont really act like parents should...
SOOO thats why I probably wont stay there... but I love my sister and I agree that she can be ridiculous.... To be honest... me, my sister, and my mother all need anger management... None of us have caps. We blow up fast. But anyway, thats not the only reason... They keep asking what I'm going to do when my husband deploys.. And honestly I dont really want to spend four months at home with all of this drama.... I really dont like drama... I really try and avoid it and it stresses me out! They also asked if my husband was going to reenlist in 4 years when his 6 year term is up. He works on avionics, 5 to 7 days a week 12 to 13 hour shifts... He doesnt like his job at all... and working a job you dont like with those hours is just mniserable... Well I told my grandma it depended on a lot of things, but his job wasnt easy and the hours sucked.. she said "work isnt supposed to be easy. your mom and dad work 12 hours shifts still and you dont hear them complaining..." I mean come on.. Dont bash on my husband to me. He likes working and providing for us... But he doesnt plan on staying in this if he doesnt like what hes doing... Both my parents LOVE their jobs. So its a little different... Just frustrating... They always are extremely critical over him and his family... Nothing I do is good enough.... Just sooo much stress. I know they love me and they are going to spoil the hell out of my son.... And I love then just as much and I miss them... But I reallllly want to enjoy my time home, and I know that I will just be misreable and want to go back to NC...
Soo... I dont know if I should suck it up for my husband and let his take his 3 weeks of leave... Or if I should push for just 2... I'm trying not to be selfish but I'm 26weeks pregnant... Ill be 29weeks, or 28 if we go early, and I dont know if I can handle all of it... And the doctor already okayed travel for me. The only problem is ill be having appointments every 2 weeks and we will need to work something out with them. I'm also having my baby shower at home, which is exciting! And matts friend is getting married. And then another one just got engaged! Plus, we might also see his brother(best friend) who is supposed to be coming home from Afgan on the 15th!
Just UGH. So mush stress... Its really depressing me and it makes me miserable!!!! I take a lot of baths for relaxation lol
Thanks for listening... sorry for such a long confusing story... But I feel like this huge weight has been lifted off of my chest!
Comments
All the best of luck though for a semi balanced outcome.
easier said than done but it'd be great if both sides could get over the past and move on.
@pinkigirl eh honestly its more my family.... Me and his family are on okay terms now and we dont mention it much. the only time I get mad at them is when they ask me not to shut the baby out of their life... Idk what kinda person they think I am! haha My family just holds a grudge and constantly criticises.... I hope it gets better too! I dont wanna fight with anyone lol