today should of been my day.....:-(

TimeBanditTimeBandit
edited October 2011 in Loss
Today is suppose to be my due date but my son Caleb grew his wings on June 10th 2011. I'm trying really hard not to be jealous of all the pregnant friends around me, but its getting harder and harder when the the certain few who are and have murdered their unwanted children for fear of being a single parent. Given a second chance a yr to the day later and still are as un responsible as ever. Being 15 weeks and yet to have seen a dr. Not for any reason just pure lazyness. But now I sit here with empty arms grieveing my son who was wanted more then anything as he was taken from me without choice. I've always wanted children and anytime I see the slightest light in my tunnel it gets turned off before I can be truely happy. I'm sorry lasts I vented just now.

Comments

  • AydonsmommyAydonsmommy
    I'm truely sorry for your loss hun. I can't even begin to understand how you feel right now.
  • julesjules
    I am so sorry :( I can't even imagine how you feel but I wish you the best and hopefully things will start looking up for you and your family. you are in my prayers.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User]
    I'm so so sorry hun, your in my thoughts!
  • mommy2b1111mommy2b1111
    Im srry for your loss and may u get ur lil blessing in the future
  • jodi102011jodi102011
    @TimeBandit, yesterday was my due date also. My mason passed away on 6/21/11. I miss him so much! This last weekend was so hard for me. I thought it would get easier but now he was supposed to be born so it is much harder. I have several friends who just had there babies. I pray it gets easier for us.
  • TimeBanditTimeBandit
    Ya I have 7 friends who had there babys all around the time Caleb was due. It was fun while we where all pregnant together, and once Caleb grew his wings it felt like I became the black sheep because they didn't know what to say or me with me. I'm happy that non of them had to suffer what we have, and there their angels are all healthy and happy but its still unfair that our arms are empty and wanting our babys more then anything in the world. This weekend was hard for me, but I feel now though that its come and gone I can pull up my big girl pants and start living life for me again. I don't mean any disrespect to anyone reading this but I'm in a new mind set where I am here alive, breathing, and its time to move on. Don't get me wrong I will never ever forget the joys my son gave to me while I had the honor carrying him. Its time to look at my future and my future rainbow babys who will know of there brother and the sacrifice he made. For them, for me, and for my future. Thank you for all your prayers and thoughts.
  • lae3lae3
    Im sorry for your loss.. i pray that it gets easyer for you .. >:D< hug for you momma
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