so very upset..and hurt!!!

vanalkrvanalkr
edited October 2011 in VENT (keep it peaceful!)
So baby Levi is 3mo old..and i am totally in lovewith him...i want another baby so so so badly. So I started talking 2 hubby about when we could start trying again...his answer.....well I'm going to give you an incentive...when you lose 60lbs we can try again! wtf!?!?! we dont do it very often and he says that...i cant help but thinkwe dont have sex b/c of my weight! what now?!?! im so hurt and upset...how would u feel if u got "bribed" to lose weight?

Comments

  • LittleFaeLittleFae
    Hes an ass hat! I would understand if he said something else like money or when your current baby.is older... But weight??
  • vanalkrvanalkr
    really? idk...i tried 2 talk 2 him about it last night and he acted like it was no big deal and i was overreacting? is it stupid for me 2 get upset about this? @2ndbutfirst
  • vanalkrvanalkr
    @LittleFae lol...funny thing is the weight he wants me 2 get 2 was what i was in highschool..on the track team..when i ran 8miles a day and lived on gatorade!
  • Mami_of_3Mami_of_3
    That's so rude of him u jst had a bby... ur body hasn't got quite bck to normal... well I knw wat u mean about weight bein a sex issue cuz I'm not as confident as I used to be either, jst love urself and ur body, if u feel the urge to lose the weight for urself thn do it, but dnt do it for him.. shoot if ur happy wit urself well jst tell him to get over it..
  • brittbeckbrittbeck
    I don't think that its stupid for you to get upset, however men sometimes really don't realize how stupid the things they say really are! My husband went on and on during my second pregnancy about he couldn't wait til I could fit back into all of these cute clothes, and when that never happened I felt like a failure and so unattractive! But when I explained my feelings to him he explained that he was just excited about me being "me" again and not an uncomfortable, moody pregnant women. I think that having a baby just changes so much about us (mentally, physically and emotionally) and sometimes our men miss the days when we loved to dress up for them and when sweats and a t-shirt weren't something we wore atleast 3 days a week. Maybe he was just more concerned about you starting a pregnancy at a healthy weight, because that can make a huge difference during a pregnancy. I would be hurt and upset too, but try not to feel bad about yourself because men just have a tendency to say the dumbest things!
  • Mami_of_3Mami_of_3
    Lol @2ndbutfirst that's a good one, I agree tell him that!
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  • paxtonsmamapaxtonsmama
    My Bf hasn't said anything about my weight (im still preggo) but our sex life has gone down the drain drastically. I still have the drive but its like he's not interested. Before i got pregnant we had sex everyday. If we skipped a day u would think he was gonna have a coronary. He couldn't keep his hands off of me. He was always feeling me up & sex was AMAZING! but now that I've got a big belly he could careless if we went a week or two with out it. And when we do have sex its always quick and he NEVER comes on to me. The only fore play we have is what i do to him. He barely kisses my neck. Im always the one to do all the work and its like wam bam thank ya mam. I can't help to feel like he's not attracted to me. I know the pot belly isn't sexy but at least act like it. Makes me so self conscious!!
  • brittbeckbrittbeck
    @paxtonsmama I know how you feel, this is my third pregnancy and each time I go through a period where I feel like he is totally turned off by me and my belly. But my husband really made a point to talk about it with me after our second was born and I now understand that pregnancy in general makes men sort of uncomfortable. Regardless of what doctors say, most men think that they can somehow hurt us or the baby and when they see us waddling around and complaining about being in pain they feel like they should leave us alone Haha. My husband has told me that he fefuels such a strong love for me when I am pregnant, I think their view on things just sometimes changes a little when we are carrying around their baby. They go into a more protective/ concerned mode rather than a sexual one. I really doubt it has anything to do with the way you look, just try to understand that why he may not have the bellly and the hormones that he is going through changes too.
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  • momof22bemomof22be
    Men always guess weight wrong as well they think 10 lbs is 100 lmao and its probably just because hes dumb and your body does still look a little preggo till at least 6 weeks after delivery ........men......
  • mrsrocketfield1221mrsrocketfield1221
    Tell him to get a grip. Lol telling u that way is not appropriate. Ya know if he had said "when u feel better about yourself" bc u were feeling bad.. but hell! I'd be hurt too & I'm so sorry he said that. But don't let him think that's ok.. stick up for yourself bc that was hurtful! I agree with momof22be... men have no clue!!!! Lol :-@
  • mommyof3tobemommyof3tobe
    Maybe he didn't intend to be mean.atleast he's being honest about his feelings and not bottling it up inside or even cheating, like some men do. maybe He is just a lil unrealistic about you being your h.s. Weight again. idk just my opinion.
  • vanalkrvanalkr
    i tried to @2ndbutfirst too funny! im sure he wouldnt like that!
    @Mami_of_3 thanks for the encouragment! ya Im just so happy loving my son i dont have any intrest in working out! lol
    @brittbeck all todd taked about while i was preggers was how he thinks women jhust use having a baby as an excuse to not lose the weight!!!
    @2BeForgotten he might have worded it wrong..but when i asked .."so basically ur bribing me?" he answered "ya i guess so!"
    @paxtonsmama ya i know what u mean about sex life goin south!!!
    @mama0811 thanks for trying to get me 2 look at it in a not so negative way!
    @momof22be lol..i love the statement....MEN....
    @mrsrockettfield1221 i tried to talk to him bout it and stick up 4 myself..but i think it didnt do any good!
    @mommyof3tobe ya at least hes honest! ;)

    @everyone...thanks so much for the feedback! i was just so hurt by what he told me! this man used to love me for what i am as a person...and for my dreams and ideas...and he did not care about stupid crap like what i looked like...i told him i didnt have any intrest in having sex with someone who only cared about my body..there are hundreds of guys like that! (im going on strike until he gets his head screwed on straight!!!)
  • dadof2n1togodadof2n1togo
    If the weight was a health issue for being pregnant I can see a small bit of sense to it. However this has to be ddealt with very carefully and in the right way. I am not standing up for him but as said if its for medical reasons then I would understand other than that yes he is a "ass hat" lol
  • vanalkrvanalkr
    @dadof2n1togo i dont think its health concerns..b/c rite now im 10lbs lighter than prepregnancy weight! lol! i think its just him being an "ass hat" :D most defininately! hahaha
  • mommyof3tobemommyof3tobe
    Lol dont be so hard on him he's only a man! Hehe
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