Am I wrong??? Vent

emyemy
edited November 2011 in Relationships
I don't work and my husband does, so there for I take care of our son and new daughter all week long. He works all night and sleeps all day so therefore I take care of her all day except for the occasional 1 diaper change and/or feeding a day. But all week I look forward to the weekend so he can help me with her and we can spend some time together, but on the weekend he wants to stay gone all weekend. He goes to his parents or hangs with his friends or goes to the gym... its always something. Now I really don't have any friends to hang out with and lol if I did it would have to be with kids included. So am I being clingy because I have no friends or is he justified to go out and have fun all weekend and me sit here 7 days a week? The few minutes that he is at home all he talks about is what his friends are doing or whats going on in their life.....Like I care. I have a car and my own money but what the hell am I suppose to do with a 9 yr old and a 6 wk old??? I feel like I'm in a rut and I can't get out. I need to be around people (adults) I think i'm getting depressed. Sorry its so long, i doesn't really matter if anyone reads this :( I just needed to put it somewhere besides on my mind

Comments

  • mommyof3tobemommyof3tobe
    Girl I know exactly how you feel!! You need a friend though. My kids dad was the same way! Life sux... Lol j/k sorry.
  • Mami_of_3Mami_of_3
    I know how u feel... difference is I work all week long, nd want to spend time wit hubby n kids on weekend, but he rather disappear.. we have discussed the topic so many times, n I give n and he goes supposed to be 2hrs turns into 7 n I get so pissed, I feel like I'm losing control, n dnt have a family... jst me n my 3 girls... idk but I dnt agree with him disappearn on weeknds it should b ur guys time together, so try to sit him down n tell him how u feel... communication is the key to a relationship n its the one thng me n hubby seem to be lacking good luck...
  • blessedbe_x3blessedbe_x3
    edited November 2011
    I don't think your wrong at all. My hubby is the main bread winner. But he's home when he's not on the clock. Yeah he goes out with his friends but not all the time. Have you thought about seeing if there is a moms group around? I guess I'm kinda different mom. I work 3days a week to keep my sanity.. I love my kids but momma needs a break. I have a 6yr old 2yr old and a 2month old :) have you tried talking to him. Let him know how you feel?
  • mommyof3tobemommyof3tobe
    My kids dad not only disappeared for hours but nights...lmao. Seriously though smh, one reason why we aren't together.
  • mommyof3tobemommyof3tobe
    Oh yeah he also told me I was jealous and I wasn't gonna keep him locked in the house. Let me stop telling my dumb stories. Their making me depressed .
  • MissQ_1stTimeMommy2BMissQ_1stTimeMommy2B
    ^^^ lol same here but try talking to him, if not see if any preglys stay near maybe y'all can make arrangements to chill/hang out!
  • MissQ_1stTimeMommy2BMissQ_1stTimeMommy2B
    @mommyof3tobe mines told me he grown he can do what he want, I told him u sure right but not in my house Goodbye! Lol
  • lily_glzlily_glz
    No you aren't wrong! My hubby works all week and I stay home taking care of the kids (5yo and 10week old) when my hubby gets home he's on daddy duty! So I can finish cooking and clean up some, or he'll do the dishes and wash bottles :). On the weekends he does the middle of the night feeding so I can get some rest :D.. he works 10 hr days so if my hubby can do it yours should too. He does go to his friends house sometimes but he asks if its okay and it'll only be a couple hours and he'll even keep the kids so I can have a girls night (I only have 1 friend lol)
  • MissQ_1stTimeMommy2BMissQ_1stTimeMommy2B
    @lily_glz sounds like u have a Great hubby, does he have a brother lol j/k
  • julesjules
    No worries it sounds like a lot of us are going though this except for I'm the one who works and thing to school and taking care of a 4 year old and I'm still the one who does everything around the house and his home all the time but there is not too much quality time which I think is important. I wish I had friend around as well and not be all clingy as he puts it but I try to stay positive can't wait until my little one is here so I can focus on her and not feel too alone. Good luck and I would talk to him if I were you.
  • mommyof3tobemommyof3tobe
    @MissQ_1stTimeMommy2B girl these men a trip for real!! Mines thought I was simply gonna settle for his idiotic BS. nuh uh. :-q
    @lily_glz I only have two. Lol less is better-less drama. ;)
  • lily_glzlily_glz
    @missq_1sttimemommy2b he sure does!! And he's a marine ;)
  • lily_glzlily_glz
    @mommyof3tobe you're sooooo right!! Lol
  • MollyMolly
    You are not wrong, girl. It's difficult to strike that balance between working and home life and both spouses helping out. I think that is where communication should come in so both of you don't feel like you are losing one another while trying to care for everything at the same time. We all need our outlets and ways to relieve stress and get away from it all, but it shouldn't put stress on the other spouse at the same time (meaning you, you have enough on your plate!).

    I'm probably venting myself here but I have come to realize how important communication is after years of a long-distance relationship. Now that we are married and live in the same house it takes just as much communication as it did when we lived 4 hours apart! I hope for the best for you and your hubby!
  • EeyoreEeyore
    I don't work outside the house either but he needs. To understand that your job is just as hard as his and you don't get a break. On kid#3 & finally mine understand and is helping out way more this time. If you trust him to do what needs to be done, take one day and leave for several hours so he can see how hard it really is. Thats what made my husband step up.
  • sunshinelovesunshinelove
    It sounds a lot like he still wants to go out and be a kid himself :/ you def need to find some other mommy friends, maybe find a mom group or something that you can take your kids to with you. But your man kinda has a bit of growing up to do :( cuz that says (to me at least, an my hubby) that he doesn't want to be around his family, he rather be a kid still. If it was just every once in a while, but every weekend... noooo sir.
  • sunshinelovesunshinelove
    You are def not in the wrong love!
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  • RhiRiotRhiRiot
    I hate when men do this shit. You are NOT wrong. Not at all. He made a family, he needs to be with his family. Even if its just hanging out with you and the kids he needs to make what my boss calls Face Time. That shows the children dad is here and also apart of this family.
    Its not about you not having a social life. You could have one if you wanted one, but you would end up neglecting your family like he's choosing to do. His parents need to back off as well if they expect him to go over on the weekends. And why isn't he taking the kids with him to see them? My parents would nag me nonstop about why they aren't seeing their grandbabies at that very moment.
    I get that everyone needs a time out from life and work. It makes sense. But its a two way street that you only get to cross once in awhile.
    If he's so needs a night out regularly, then so do you.
    Maybe he can do a 5 to 8 happy hour with the boys after work on fridays or when there's a fight on he can ask to go out.
    Every weekend is ridic. and unfair and suspicious. And any man who plays the "I'm a grown man you can't tell me what to do" card on you needs to have the locks on the house changed on him. Its selfish and childish.
    My friends husband does that shit to her all the time. I'm lucky bc my BD doesn't have many friends and prefers to stay home and hangout with me.
  • RhiRiotRhiRiot
    Oh and its not asking permission, its asking if there is any reason you would need him around during that time.
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