What Makes Her So Special???

So i move into my uncles house back in august after bd became a douche and left us. Me and my aunt were both pregnant at the time and things were fine. I had my beautiful baby girl in october. I had no help at home and never got to just sleep while somebody watched my baby a few hours. Also if i were to go anywhere i had to bundle my lo and take her with. I have a 4yr old son and 6yr old niece i have to care for also. Well now it january and my aunt just had her baby girl on tuesday. They're already leaving their baby with me to go shopping and out to eat. They make me help out with there 7yr old son. And the other night i had to stay up til 2am cause my aunt was tired and needed to sleep so i had to take care of there baby on top of caring for my 3mo old. I don't know what makes them so special. They never help out with my baby. I've only left her here with them 1time and that's because it was 5° outside. Their baby is only 5days old any taking care of her is an everyday thing so far. Although we contributed almost $600 in link i feel obligated to do stuff they ask and tell me to do because its their house. But it pisses me off because he tells me to make sure i help her and let her get some sleep. WTF!?! Where was my help and my sleep? I still don't get much sleep. And now that im helping with their lo im getting less.

Comments

  • Tell them no
  • Kinda sounds like my in laws and some of my own family. when i had my baby i had no help even though it was my first kid. my in laws all went on a 2 wk trip to visit someones graduation whos NOT EVEN family! My own cousins will leave their kids with whoever has a pulse. including my 87 yr old grandmother who also has to help my grandfather who is wheelchair bound. but in your situation i would sit them down when its not so chaotic and just say hey i have a baby too and its not easy to just take on another newborn at the same time.
  • Yeah, I would tell them to take care of their own damn baby. It's not your responsibility, so I wouldn't bother. I'm really irked by the fact that they just expect you to do it. That's ridiculous.
  • I agree. You have your own kids to take care of. Just because you are staying with them doesn't give them the right to take advantage of you!
  • They're leaving again to go shopping again.
  • Tell them to take their baby!!!
  • Regardless of you paying rent or not, that is their baby, not yours. If you're not paying rent, sure you need to pull your weight around there, but being a mother to THEIR baby is asking way way too much.
  • Yes that's totally ridiculas!!! plus I couldn't evn imagine leaving my 5 day old baby wit any one to do Anythang at all !!
  • Tell them to take care of their own baby GEEZ :(
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  • I pay for my own food. My own personal care products, laundry soap, everything. I even paid to recarpet the bedroom im staying in. I clean house and buy household items like dishsoap, paper towels and toilet paper. I pass all my 3mo daughters clothes to them when she's done so they can save money. He wont accept my money. I gave him $400 when he had to pay his property taxes and he paid me back even though i insisted he not. He doesn't want my money and when i talk about moving he wants me to stay.
  • edited January 2012
    He wants you to stay to take care of his kids probably. Basically like a live in nanny.
  • Sounds like he needs some talking to then. Explain how you feel then give him an ultimatum: either they take care of your baby or you're gone.
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  • I do it ALL BY MYSELF!
    My family doesn't help me, and my partner's family doesn't either
    They take his sisters three kids so she can just hang out with friends, or go shopping, even my being so sick that I could barely see... Well... "That's just a part of motherhood" I get to be sick and struggle to take care of her too.
    You know what though, It's hard sometimes but I feel like I'm the best mother I can be and I'm only proving that unlike 90% of the girls I know, I dedicate my everything to my daughter and we do it on our own. (My partner included) Maybe knowing that about yourself will at least make you feel a little better. <3
  • edited January 2012
    P.S
    It does sound like you're being used as a live in Nanny
    You're saving them SO MUCH in daycare
  • Yes girl tell them no
  • I would sit down and talk to them bc this is their baby so they should take care of her and they should want to or they should have thought more about having a child of they are going to have someone else taking care of their child I would feel so bad even asking anyone... I'm sorry your going through this but try and talk to them.
  • If you can afford to take your lo and get into a place of your own them let them know your concerns and see what they say. If, at this time, you can only assist with paying for certain things then be careful on what you say. They will think you are ungrateful and may not "allow" you to be their nanny. They know you are cheaper labor in their eyes and also know its cheaper for you to live there too. That seems to be their mindset now. Its a little complicated.
  • You should give them a bill
  • @fulltimemommy i did it all by myself at 17 with my son and so far with my 3mo daughter at 21. I never complain about doing it myself. I can handle it. Idky my aunt can't. Maybe because she's only 19 and really wasn't ready? They tried so hard for this baby. 2 miscarriages and tons of money later they got what they've wanted. Its hard when i have both babies and they're both hungry at the same time. I kinda wish they would have thought it out a little more. My uncle works hard from 3am til whenever he gets home in the afternoon/evening so she's alone in the day and he helps when he gets off, but has to be in bed by 8pm. Shes getting really stressed and i understand that she already feels she needs a break. We as women are made to handle this. If i can do it so can she. My uncle has only changed 1 diaper since ashley was born. And at that it fell off in her clothes.
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  • I'm still at that stage where I don't want to leave my daughter with anyone, and luckily I've only been REALLY sick once. That time... and I had NO help.
    My SIL keeps having children and wants/tries for all of them. Her husband was deported and had to move back to Kansas, they broke up and she got a new BF right away and now has a 14 month old son with him. She just had a miscarriage and will be trying again after she waits the 3 recommended months. She has never had to take care of her children, or herself for that matter. That's how her parent's raised her. She's 27 and her boyfriend is 35 and they live off her parents. Her parents do and buy everything, when she asks them too. She didn't have too buy diapers or food for the first two years of her 2 daughters lives, and my partner's mother has been spending the last 6 years of her life taking care of these grand children. She works TWO days a week, and my MIL has them every single day! Some people just view motherhood completely different then the rest of us. One of my best friends has a daughter who is 1 and a half and the little girl has spent 75% of her life with her grandmother because my friend is 22 and still wants to party and get messed up. They just expect other people to "help" them out or do it for them. Or at least in most of the people I know's case. They don't really think it through... even though they should lol
  • Not meaning to sound brash or anything, but instead on complaining, take action and do something about it. It's severely unfair for them to just assume you're going to help because you've done it and you're older. Yeah, taking care of a baby is beyond stressful and tiring, but welcome to parenthood!! You've taken care of your children and its not your place to make things easier for them, nor is it their place to place that stress and pressure on you. I say either speak up or move out. You do not need another child to raise for their own selfish reasons.
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