UPDATE ON MY CHEATING HUSBAND

BigBellyBigBelly
edited April 2012 in Not Pregnancy Related - NPR
So i'm getting more and more stuff outta him every time i talk to him. Apparently for the last 2 or 3 years, he has been addicted to porn. To the point that he masturbates to it every chance he gets. While driving his work truck from job to job, while he's at work in a bathroom, whenever he can! And he kept all of this a secret from me for this long! How the hell could i have missed this? I don't know what to do! I think it finally got to the point that porn wasn't enough for him and he went to the prostitutes. All this time i thought we never had sex because of me. When it was all because of this. Like he was living in this fantasy world that i wasn't a part of! Anybody have any advise on how to deal with this? I'm so confused about everything! :-<

Comments

  • TheTrondsons1stTheTrondsons1st
    Im so sorry hun. :( i have no advice.. Other then if it was me id leave. Prayers are with u
  • mommyfor3mommyfor3
    Oh my did you get checked for std's? I'm so sorry for what your going through but I would make him go to treatment and get help
  • julesjules
    My bf just said they have a class like kinda like AA but for people with sex issues I would try that if working it out between the two of u is what u want.
  • BigBellyBigBelly
    ty @thetrondsons1st
    @mommyfor3 Yes!!! That was the first thing i made his nasty ass do! Thankfully he came back negative for everything! He is talking with a shrink right now. But i also made him an appt. with an addiction specialist that he will start going to on sunday!
    @jules I've been looking up anywhere i could find for him to go. I guess i'm willing to try and see if all this helps him. Then i will make my decision on staying with him or not! But until then his ass still isn't aloud back in our house! He comes and spends time with the kids but that's it!
  • julesjules
    Wow, that is amazing how strong you are being as chesse as it sounds but I am proud of you! I would have such hard time with this I would either be sucked back in by the guy or would blow up and want nothing to do with him ever again. Where u live? Maybe I can help do some research. I don't know how involved u are with a church or what your religious stand point is but I know my church has class for that so I'm just thinking maybe some other churches would too.
  • MommyLovesSparkleMommyLovesSparkle
    omg! i just read the whole entire last post you made! im so shocked and im wondering why the hell he would do something like that when your there to make love to him!!!!!!!!! grrrr. ... you need to leave him ASAP! i was getting knots in my stomach for you as i was reading im TRULY sorry for you and i mean that i really do. i wish all whores would just move to a land called whore land or something and leave all married men and taken men alone and that guy would stay true to thier wife, fiance, or girlfriend. whats the matter with people these days.!!
  • MommyLovesSparkleMommyLovesSparkle
    their*


  • BigBellyBigBelly
    I live in Maryland. I think the only reason i'm not completely losing my mind is because of my kids and my family! If there were no kids involved, my ass woulda been gone the second i found out!!! I haven't ever really been into religion though. @jules
    @mommylovessparkle
    Girl you don't know how much i want to find these girls and beat the shit outta them!!! But on the other hand, they didn't go to him. He went to them. So as mad as i wanna be about them i can't! I do agree with you though. A land for whores would prolly save quite a few relationships! My self confidence is pretty much gone after all this!
  • Heather3girls1boyHeather3girls1boy
    @BigBelly So sorry this is happening to you, sending love your way :) Where in Maryland are you, I am from Salisbury.
  • BigBellyBigBelly
    Thank you! I live in Laurel. @heather3rdgirl
  • Heather3girls1boyHeather3girls1boy
    @BigBelly Oh wow not to far from Salisbury.
  • JazzieJazzie
    @bigbelly omg I live in laurel to
  • BigBellyBigBelly
    shut up lol. I didn't think anybody else on here was even from MD! @jazzie
  • JazzieJazzie
    @bigbelly I know me either
  • MommyLovesSparkleMommyLovesSparkle
    Stupid men :(
  • MommytoJulianWMommytoJulianW
    In sorry your going though this mama you continue to be strong. I live in maryland to btw the year that i have been apart of this forum i never new people where so close to me :-)
  • MommytoJulianWMommytoJulianW
    @BigBelly
  • julesjules
    That makes sense thats what people usually do. My bf right now his ex wife cheated on him and he found out and still wanted to work it out bc they do have a child together and he thought that was the right thing to do. But she was the one who said no were done I love this guy. Well long story short he is so glad and thankful they got divorce bc now he sees what kind of a person she is in general. Not saying u shouldn't try I would try whatever it takes b4 giving up on the relationship. But just sharing his story and I really do hope things without for the best and I'm here if u need someone to talk to. I am like super proud of u for being so strong most people wouldn't b able to go through something like this.,
  • FateFate
    I am sad that he cheated, but glad that he is opening up to you. My husband shut himself down after I found out about the hooker. We split because of it. But now, he's told me everything and I needed to hear it for my own closure. I don't think we would have gotten back together if I went on not knowing. Great start to healing!
  • BigBellyBigBelly
    @mommytojulianw thank you! And cool to see another Maryland girl! @jules Honestly i don't think i would be this strong if it wasn't for my kids! @fate How did you ever get over it? I've asked him for details and gotten them. But now idk what to do with them. Everything is constantly running thru my head! It keeps me up at night cause my mind won't stfu! I'm not sure if it was a good idea or not to find out everything. It's literally all i can think about and it sucks!
  • FateFate
    Time. I'm not over it completely. But when you love someone as much as I love him, you give them the second chance to prove that the love isn't a one way street. You make it clear that he owes you the world. You don't settle for a half assed attempt. You put his butt on the back burner and think about yourself. I still have dreams and sometimes I lay awake thinking about what the girl looked like and if she's prettier than me. In the morning, I tell him my fears, and he does his absolute best to make me feel better. He owes you so much. A broken heart is such a horrible and physical pain. It hurts! Never keep your own emotions locked up. Tell him. He's the only one who can stitch you back up right now. And if he loves you, he will.
  • BigBellyBigBelly
    @Fate I feel like i can't talk to him at all right now. He knows he screwed up royally and he's really depressed. To the point where he thinks about hurting himself! So i feel like if i try to tell him exactly how i feel, he's gonna end up doing something stupid. I thought about going and talking to someone myself but i don't see how they could possibly get all this shit outta my head.
  • FateFate
    If he's depressed, then he knows he screwed up royally. It will fade, I promise. If you can't talk to him, write it down or talk to one of us preglies. Don't keep it in.
  • BigBellyBigBelly
    That's what i'm trying to do @fate I wrote him a long letter trying to get everything out. As much as he hurt me, i really hope things can get back to when we were happy. Just not sure if i could ever forgive him for doing this to our family!
  • FateFate
    Trust me, this whole "break" thing you guys are doing is going to be great for both of you. :) My husband says it felt like an all new love when I took him back. He felt butterflies and would smile just thinking about how happy he is again. And to be honest, I feel the same!
  • BigBellyBigBelly
    Well i hope it does work out like yours did! @fate
  • FateFate
    :*
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