caring for my sisters child...?

Summergirl22Summergirl22
edited May 2012 in Not Pregnancy Related - NPR
So my sister has been in detox and rehab for over a month, I have been caring for her son for about 2 months. Nothing has been through the courts. He had no clothes that fit him when I started caring for him. So I bought him a bunch but they were long sleeves and pants since it was cold. He needs new shoes and summer clothes now. Aside from the daily cost to care for an extra child, his wardrobe needs are leaving me beyond broke. I think I will have him for another 6 months, or longer if she doesn't change! I am more than happy to care for him I just could use some money for him. Are there any programs that could help us? I know if he was awarded to me through the courts/dsf I would be able to get funds for him. Is there still a way I can get help even though nothings been "legalized"?

Thanks in advance.
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Comments

  • Summergirl22Summergirl22
    edited May 2012
    Oh btw he's 9 and I had her write me a notarized letter stating I'm caring for her while she seeks treatment and she gives me permission to make decisions on his behalf.

    I needed this specifically to enroll him in summer school.
  • captivatedcaptivated
    I don't think so, hun. Here's a bump though!
  • Summergirl22Summergirl22
    @captivated thanks, it doesn't help his father is a deadbeat :/
  • candy101candy101
    How far r u willing to go. In ohio when a child is left for more than either 60 or 90 days u can get the perent for abandonment. If u did that and fostered gim then u could get bebifits like medical and other expenses. As long as u qualify to foster in ohio there are income requirements and of course u can not be a criminal. However i do not know if it would apply in ur situation my b call child services
  • captivatedcaptivated
    What candy said might work, but your sister signed a notarized document leaving her children in your care. I don't believe that qualifies abandonment charges. You could always file for custody, but you will likely need an attorney and prove you can financially support the child which is the root of your problem :(
  • Summergirl22Summergirl22
    edited May 2012
    @candy101 thanks for that. I'm willing to care for him as long as needed. I'm hoping my sister will get her life together this time and if she stays clean I will give him back. If I don't she's already stated she would kill herself. Regardless, my nephew is the one who needs to be saved. I can only help her so much, but my nephew I can help and enjoy doing so.
  • Summergirl22Summergirl22
    edited May 2012
    @captivated I have been supporting him, he gets more than enough food, proper hygiene and sleep, clean clothes, help with his homework, I do activities with him. I'm giving him way more than his mom ever has, and he will always have what he needs. But it's put me behind on a few of my bills (phone, electric etc.)
  • Summergirl22Summergirl22
    edited May 2012
    I'm so mad at my sister for neglecting his needs! I fully understand addiction, but I will never understand how she could so easily put her son on the back burner :( (we grew up with alcoholic parents)
  • Summergirl22Summergirl22
    @2ndbutfirst good idea, I will call tomorrow. I didn't even think of that. Thank you
  • Summergirl22Summergirl22
    @2ndbutfirst thank you! It breaks my heart to know what he's went through.
  • captivatedcaptivated
    This boy is so lucky to have you!
  • Summergirl22Summergirl22
    edited May 2012
    @captivated thank you hun, I know if I wasn't around, he would have been in the system by now :( either that or in the care of someone who isn't fit for him either.
  • starrxoxo9starrxoxo9
    Maybe try searching your local thrift stores for some gently used clothing?? At least summer clothes, kids destroy those anyways lol. You are doing an amazing thing for him, you are giving him a chance :X
  • starrxoxo9starrxoxo9
    Also, see if your area has a freecycle group on Yahoo. People always give away kids clothes on there. And craigslist!
  • captivatedcaptivated
    Hey! Someone posted up that website where you make a profile and people donate money to you! Anyone know what it is called? It has helped so many people!
  • Summergirl22Summergirl22
    @starrxoxo9 thanks! I have tried the good will but no luck in sizes. I searched craigslist but same thing. I'll continue looking, new things are posted all the time. I'll try freecycle as well, thanks :)
  • Summergirl22Summergirl22
    @captivated wow that would be helpful!
  • Summergirl22Summergirl22
    I want to avoid the courts if possible, it's a hassle to say the least.
  • captivatedcaptivated
    Www.gofundme.com

    I think thats it!
  • starrxoxo9starrxoxo9
    @captivated oh yea!!! Wishuponahero.com!!

    You are definitely a hero, even if its just to that little boy!
  • starrxoxo9starrxoxo9
    Oh I guess there's two lol
  • captivatedcaptivated
    I totally understand that. I don't think it would help much anyways. I also would feel a little morally wrong by doing it. Addict or not, she trusted the care of her son to you to get healthy for him. It takes a lot of strength to hand off a child to better yourself. She could have taken the easy way out and continued her destruction and neglected him. Somewhere in her, she loves and wants the best for her child. I think you are doing an awesome thing especially not going the spiteful, self righteous route by attempting to keep him.
  • Summergirl22Summergirl22
    @captivated and @starrxoxo9 thanks! Now which one should I choose lol
  • Summergirl22Summergirl22
    @captivated yeah I'm really happy she is trying I thought the day would never come! no matter what she does in life, she will always be my sister and I will always love her. I want the best for her but more importantly her son.
  • Summergirl22Summergirl22
    He belongs with his sober mother, everyone deserves a second chance...she loves him a lot, I know she does. Being an addict doesn't change the love, just the priorities.
  • mommyof3girlsmommyof3girls
    Sorry i didnt read all of the posts but.. my parents cared for my sisters 3 kids while she was in jail for 6 months (due to drugs). They got food stamos for the kids and money from the county for clothing and personal care items. Go to ur local county building and find out. most likely they can halp u out. Im glad he has an aunt like u to love on him.
  • starrxoxo9starrxoxo9
    Being an addict doesn't change the love, just the priorities.

    I agree 100%. My mother is a recovering alcoholic and she still loved us more than life itself. We are probably the reason she's still alive. If we ever got taken away I don't think she would have made it. You're doing the right thing by not getting the courts involved. Again, I really commend you for what you're doing. Your nephew appreciates it more than he knows right now.
  • Summergirl22Summergirl22
    @mommyof3girls thank you, I thought maybe I could get something like this.

    @starrxoxo9 I know, my sister would have been dead by now if it weren't for her son. Before the addition she was an amazing mother. Thank you, I think he appreciates me already... He says no one cares for him like his auntie :)
    My son and him are more like brothers than cousins; they're so close despite their 3 year age difference.
  • starrxoxo9starrxoxo9
    Aww that's so sweet and so sad at the same time. I really hope your sister can pull through and get better!! :)
  • Summergirl22Summergirl22
    @stereopsis thank you, I hope so too!
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