:( idk what this means...

acw104acw104
edited June 2012 in Pregnant
so im almost 14 weeks pregnant with my second baby, but i dont know whats wrong with me. i dont feel an attachment to this child almost at all... and i feel horable about it. i dont know why i feel this way the only thing i keep thinking is how this may not be fare to my 8 month old, like i kinda feel like im cheeting my daughter some how. i dont know..i was soo attached when i got pregnant with her and its just soo diffrent this time. sorry i just dont understand this at all.

Comments

  • [Deleted User][Deleted User]
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  • My2BoysMy2Boys
    I think this is common for second pregnancies. I felt this way with my second and my first was three years old and i still felt like i cheated him. It wasnt until i was around thirty weeks that i felt more comfortable with the idea, i mean i wanted the baby he was planned, but i just felt so bad because i felt like my oldest was my favorite and there was no more room in my heart. All of those worries went away the second he was born and even my three year happily welcomed him in to our family and had no problems with it.
  • acw104acw104
    I just feel so bad bc I was soo attached to my daughter n im just not to this child. I think I will talk to mu doc tho I kno im stressed out n idk may b thr depression stuf but I hope not. Thank you
  • 1stWoodsBaby1stWoodsBaby
    I have an 8 month old (next Tuesday) and I'm 24 weeks pregnant. I feel the same way. I don't feel pregnant at all, other than feeling "heavy" at times. So I don't really think about being pregnant. I just focus on taking care of my current little one. I too feel like I didn't get to spend as much time with her as I would have liked, but knowing that soon she'll have a little play partner makes me feel a little better.
  • tjscrdtjscrd
    I kind of feel the same way. It doesn't help that this next one has a different dad. I don't want my son to be the left out stepchild. Even though my bf treats my son just like he was his own. :/ I also feel terrible, my son is my number one, it's hard to imagine putting another just as high.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User]
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  • acw104acw104
    I will, thanks @moma_kat
  • LilSugarsMommaLilSugarsMomma
    Trust me, I went through this last year, and everything fell into place!

    I loved my son sooooooo much, I couldn't imagine loving another child. I cried so many times because I felt like you, like I was "cheating" him. But, once she was born, it all made sense. I'll be honest, I didn't have an immediate connection with my daughter. I mean, I loved her, but I just didn't feel the way I did when I first saw my son. It took a couple of weeks for me to have a bond with her, but now, I love her just as much as I love my boy, only the love is so different for each of them...if that makes sense haha.

    Just remember that you're not cheating your first born, and that everything will fall into place eventually. Keep your head up mama!
  • Summergirl22Summergirl22
    I didn't feel the bond when I was pregnant with my second either. I mean I loved her but it wasn't the same as my first pregnancy. My son was 4 when I got pregnant with my second. I just love my son sooo much that I couldn't imagine loving anyone else as much. Once I gave birth, it all changed. I now know it is so possible to love both your children with all your heart and then some more! They are both my world!!! You will just see for your self once you give birth :) trust me
  • candy101candy101
    edited June 2012
    With your first u get to sit around and dream of this little baby u r going to have all the time. With ur second u just do not have time to sit around and fall in love wih a baby that is not here yet. I think you will be fine when u get to hold your new baby.
  • lilbit01_209lilbit01_209
    I didnt bond with my 1st till she was a little over 3 years old and my second I bonded in-utero with. Maybe a little too much. It just comes with time.
  • DavidnAadynsMamaDavidnAadynsMama
    I was the same with my second and I felt so awful that I wasnt bonding like with my first. The moment I saw him though, I fell in love :)
  • YNVTishYNVTish
    @acw104 ... this is normal. You havent even had a chance to really parent one child and now your forced to parent another. It's a lot to digest.

    Hang in there... you have several months to go to bond and you really dont even need to until delivery day.
  • SalasMommySalasMommy
    It really is normal I'll be 15 wks on Saturday and I feel he same way..

    I feel like I'm cheating my first born out of the attention :( everyone spoils him but i wish I would have waited he is going to be 16months on the 17th and i still feel he is way to much of a baby to you know prepare for a newborn to take up so much of mommy and daddys time.


    I hope it gets better we are superwomen and will find enough time to be able to handle boths needs (:
  • EricaK22EricaK22
    I feel the same way, and honestly I didn't want a girl this time around; I wanted another boy. I don't feel connected with this baby at all, and just forget about being pregnant, and just have fun with my 11 month old. I don't have much time left until I'm taking care of the second baby since I'm almost 28 weeks..so sooner or later I know I'll bond with this baby..I just feel like I'm cheating my son out of all the attention he gets right now :(
  • acw104acw104
    It makes me feel a lot better that im not alone with this, thank you everyone. It really has helped.
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