Disagreement on schooling. Opinions please

DavidnAadynsMamaDavidnAadynsMama
edited July 2012 in Not Pregnancy Related - NPR
Okay, so a little background first. I grew up going to a methodist church as a child. Hubby went to a hardcore Baptist church. We both believe in God (a higher power) but we also believe strongly in sciences (me especially). David starts school next month, and we werent able to get him into our first choice public school, so MIL begged us to allow him to go to Emanual Baptist (private). I am allowing him to go this year because at his age, there wont be any science involved but next year I want him in public. I know everyone has their own beliefs, and I respect them. However, I do not believe the earth is 3-6 thousand years old and I dont want my child being taught that. My husband shares my beliefs but is being pressured by his mother to keep him in that school throughout his education. I am fighting tooth and nail against this. Im not saying I want to force my beliefs on him either, but I would rather him learn the science part in a public school, and the faith part in church & sunday school and then allow him to reach his own conclusions as he gets older. He is also not allowed to wear clothing or have school supplies with pop culture references (spiderman etc). This is another thing I have against him going there. He wont be allowed to express himself as an individual. Am I wrong for being 100% against this school? How should.i handle this situation with hubby? (could care less what the MIL thinks). Opinions please.

@captivated I always respect your thoughts
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Comments

  • caroline8_pcaroline8_p
    I 100% agree with you.

    I don't want Malia going to school here in NYC, I want her to go to public school in Texas! When the time comes, I see an argument :(
  • DavidnAadynsMamaDavidnAadynsMama
    I just feel like its so one-sided at that place. Ive gone to church there with his family before and was looked down upon for having tattoos etc. One woman even came up to me afterwards and made a comment about them saying "your body is a temple". I replied with "even temples have markings on them".

    I just want him to see both sides. He can choose one or the other, or find a way that both (science & religion) can go hand in hand..like me
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  • DavidnAadynsMamaDavidnAadynsMama
    @mama_kat He has 5 cousins who go there and they are all very bright. I know that the student/teacher ratio is much better and they do have high standards for education. My arguement with that to MIL was that if we as parents are also doing our jobs at home, then he shouldnt need extra help and attention. Too many parents send their children off to school, have no clue what they are learning/if they need help and then blame the teachers for their children not learning. Education shouldnt end at 3pm. I feel like if we do our jobs as parents, he wont suffer from or be disadvantaged by public school. Also, thanks for the support :)
  • 1stWoodsBaby1stWoodsBaby
    Husband needs to not let his mother influence him. I agree with your side. I do NOT want my children going to any private school affiliated with a religion. My husband is a baptist preacher and I wouldn't even want them in a baptist school. I feel school is for education; church is for God and religion. I don't want them mixed.
  • 1stWoodsBaby1stWoodsBaby
    Im not against private schools at all! I went to a nonreligious private school for 5 yrs! I'd love if my kids could attend a private school.
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  • DavidnAadynsMamaDavidnAadynsMama
    @1stwoodsbaby I would also love for him to go to a non-religious private school. Unfortunately, we cant afford it. His mother is paying for him to go this year to Emanual. Im not one of those people who are against saying the pledge of allegience in school, or anything crazy like that, but I do think the school/religion education should remain seperate. One of his "school books" this year is a bible (King James Version only). I just strongly disagree with some of the beliefs.
  • DavidnAadynsMamaDavidnAadynsMama
    @mama_kat I totally agree about how to think vs what to think. That is soo true. A religious school obviously wont teach him that its okay to have his own beliefs. I know public school isnt perfect either, but again, thats where parents should come in.
  • starrxoxo9starrxoxo9
    I would never want my daughter in a religion based school. There are so many things wrong with organized religion and I don't want anyone filling her head with false ideas. I want her to be free to think and figure the world out on her own. I believe in God, but not religion.
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  • DavidnAadynsMamaDavidnAadynsMama
    @mama_kat Thats exactly what im afraid of. I dont want him to conform to what hes told he should be. I want him to grow up believing and KNOWING that he can choose to be whatever he wants to be, religion included.

    I took my participant at work to church because he asked to go. It was a baptist church. That day, the preacher took out a bible (non KJV) and he SPIT IN IT AND THREW IT!! If I wasnt working, I would have left immediately. I was so disgusted. Its one thing to have strong beliefs. Its quite different to disrespect the beliefs of others. That incident has weighed heavily on me each time I think of my children going to a baptist private school, or any religious school for that matter
  • DavidnAadynsMamaDavidnAadynsMama
    @starrxoxo9 I very much agree
  • starrxoxo9starrxoxo9
    :)
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  • BabyluvBabyluv
    Me and my hubby both went to a private christian school (non-denominational) Science wasn't like what you are talking about...we learned about all sides of how the world was created and were allowed to draw our own conclusions and tested on it all. We weren't sheltered or made to think a certain way at all. They simply taught all sides of everything and left it up to us. So not all Christian schools are like that, you simply have to find the right one. I never once felt pushed to think a certain way...now when I went to public school I felt that way. They were always trying to drill some belief into our head and they didn't leave you much breathing room to think otherwise. I hated going to public school. They were always arguing and trying to convince you of something. I appreciate my education and the person it made me today and I wouldn't have gotten that in the public schools here.
  • BabyluvBabyluv
    Not that I'm saying private school is for everyone...depends on the school honestly. You and your hubby both need to agree though...not your MIL. Maybe see how this year goes with your son and if it's terrible then you both need to sit down and figure out a place you can both agree on. You could sit down with the school and see what kind of curriculum they will be teaching also.
  • DavidnAadynsMamaDavidnAadynsMama
    @babyluv I have a feeling that I would feel better about it if it were non denominational like the one you went to. Like I said though, we cant afford it. Its either public school or this baptist private school (the only one his mother will pay for). Ive been telling her for 4yrs that we wanted him in public, and she keeps begging us and offering to pay for it (but only THAT private school). Their curriculum is basicly normal compared to public, aside from science. They may "mention" other ways of thinking, but they are very clear on their belief that the Earth is no more than 6,000 years old. I strongly disagree. I dont mind him hearing that in church, but I DO mind him learning it and being graded on it in school. Im not saying all religious based private schools are bad, but I have personal experience with this particular church, and I dont like it.
  • MrsStanley_x2MrsStanley_x2
    I'm methodist and my husband is atheist, and we both agree with your thinking!
  • DavidnAadynsMamaDavidnAadynsMama
    @mama_kat im also not very religious. Thats not saying I dont believe in a higher power/creator but I dont necessarily believe strongly in other aspects of religion. David has been going to sunday school at the same place where he will go next month and hes already saying things like "mommy, the sky is blue because God likes that color" and "God makes it night time and then daytime" .."God makes it rain so the plants have something to drink". I know hes a sweet innocent child, so I havent busted his bubble, but if this is what hes learning, im not impressed.
  • DavidnAadynsMamaDavidnAadynsMama
    @mrsstanley_x2 thankyou
  • BabyluvBabyluv
    hmmm yeah that's no good...My dad is a pastor and even he says he doesn't necessarily know how old the world is...or how the process happened, but the only thing that matters is that God did it lol. I wish your MIL would be willing to pay for a different private school, non-denominational in my experience is way better...because everyone believes something different but we all believed in God so it was super cool! Learning about other peoples religion and beliefs was so cool! Plus our education and testing was way better then the public schools in our town. Hope you find a school that you and your hubby are happy with :). Also, random side not Idk if you've looked into it but the private schools here have help with paying for them...they have huge discounts,payment plans or even people who are willing to pay for the whole year for your kid. Idk if it's like that every where though.
  • captivatedcaptivated
    No. Absolutely not. Stand your ground :)
  • DavidnAadynsMamaDavidnAadynsMama
    @babyluv im one of those people who very much believe in science. I believe in the big bang theory and that our universe is more than 13.billion years old. With that being said, I also believe that an entire universe, in which even the slightest temperature difference would have caused it to collapse in on itself, didnt just appear out of nothing. Therefore, I believe in a creator. These are my own personal beliefs and I respect people who do not agree. In my experience though, baptist churches are not very tolerant of anyone who isnt like-minded. I dont want to offend anyone on here who is baptist. Maybe they arent all that way, but in my experience of multiple baptist churches, they are very intolerent.
  • DavidnAadynsMamaDavidnAadynsMama
    @captivated thanks :)
  • BabyluvBabyluv
    My hubby was baptist haha I agree with you though...when we got engaged we decided to go to churches and agree on one...I never liked the baptist churches. ( I didn't agree with everything and they didn't like me for that) Good thing we both agreed on a Non-denominational church and we love it! (His mother hated me for that one...she is STRICT Baptist) Our church doesn't Judge, you can look and think how you feel and everyone is so loving and excepting! Just like Christ would want it.
  • DavidnAadynsMamaDavidnAadynsMama
    @babyluv the only church ive ever felt comfortable with was non denominational, so I definitely understand. His mother pretty much proved my point though when I said I didnt want him being taught that the Earth was 6000 years old and SHE YELLED AT ME FOR IT! I swear, its like if you dont believe exactly what they do, they'll use their bible to beat it in to you lol
  • BabyluvBabyluv
    Yes I've grown up in non-denominational churches...my dad pastors one also. Oh my haha that is so true! My husbands mom yelled at me (while I had the flu,103 fever and was totally out of it) how we couldn't be trusted to pick out the right church and something about they might teach us the wrong thing and we'll go to hell haha. Like I'm that stupid I'm pretty sure I can read the Bible for myself also. Couldn't believe she drug me out of my house for that.
  • DavidnAadynsMamaDavidnAadynsMama
    edited July 2012
    @babyluv people like that are the reason why so many people dont go to church or choose to not be religious. When you grow up hearing how understanding and loving Jesus/God is, and then you meet people who supposedly do Gods work and all they want to do is judge and look down on you. Im not sure why people feel like beating someone with a bible will make them believe. That would be like me throwing a physics book at my MIL and expecting her to believe it because it smacked her in the damn face! Lol
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