Aw hun, this brought tears to my eyes. I completely understand how you feel, my husband went through an addiction. It's very hard and trying on a relationship, it took me leaving for him to change. I'm so sorry about your health you are definitely in my prayers.
*hugs* It's good for you to vent. You've been through so much in such a short time. Take the time in the hospital to get rest and have time for just you. Things will get better because they have to!!
What is it with men and their bullshit "hobbies" that suck them out of reality?? My bf won't admit it but he's totally addicted to world of warcraft. The nerdiest, dorkiest, gayest game ever lol. I hate it. I have daydreams all the time about smashing his computer office space style. We had a huge blowout last week and he promised he'd cut back on game time. We'll see. Could you imagine if we did some shit like that and ignored the kids all day?? I just don't get it either hun..
@starrxoxo9 please don't mention that name. Lol seriously though i used to dream about smashing that pos computer. (Still do) it sucks ppl in. God forbid we tell them they have a problem.
@captivated I know this will sound kinda stupid, but it works. Talk to him and tell him you want to be more productive as a family. Set times where he can be out with his car. Set a time when the computer or game goes off, and do something together...even something as simple as watching a movie. Put a set financial limit a month for the car. Make a budget for everything, and come up with a reasonable amount. The rules have to apply to both...and tell him that it does so you don't seem like you're punishing him or something lol
You were on my mind today before I even saw this post. I was thinking about how much you've been through in your young life & how much strength you've had to have for you & your babies. You're a true hero in my mind, all the hard work & fighting you've done for them & yourself. Idk what your religious beliefs are, but sometimes we all need to lean on God a little. Read some Psalms, most of them were written by David who went through a lot of crap like you. He was depressed a lot too. Maybe it would give you some encouragement better than any of us could give you. But just know we all love you & are sorry for all the pain & suffering you've had. (((hugs))) You have a great purpose in life!
I'm sorry you r going through all these men and there hobbies try to talk to him times like these when one feels crappy you need support from ur partner. Just know u r a strong woman and hang In there I hope the best for you
@cristinalynn, unfortunately. I've had many conversations with him exactly as you said. We don't share finances. I have also asked to set up abudget etc to no avail.
@wilsomom, thank you so much hun. I feel as if I am being punished in some way. That if there is a god, he is vehemently trying to get my attention inssome way...
I am sorry you are going through all this. My hubby is addicted to video games and when hes not playing video games hes doing science projects with his cousins. It pisses me off cause we never see each other and we dont have anything in common any more. I kind of know how you feel
I feel like that too. I love him dearly and there's no doubt in my mind that he does as well. We have just lost each other along the way...@jennalynne87. How are you working on it?
@jennalynne87@captivated that is the exact same way I was I held everything in. Well all it got me was the walls of my marriage came crashing down so all u can do as a person is talk. One thing my dad always told me "you can't change them you can only change yourself" something I learned to live by and as for the split that almost happened I didn't feel guilty at all because I knew I owned up to my end he didn't his stay strong ladies everything will work in the end
Relationships are such a pain. You get focused and into that routine of taking care of the kids, work, etc, and lose each other along the way. I know it's not always possible to go out and have a date night, but you guys could have one in after the kids go to bed. Tell him every Tuesday is date night or something, and pick a movie or something, or another activity you guys like doing together. I know hobbies are a PITA. My hubby spends a lot of time on the computer, and I just tell him get off and spend time with me if you like sex. :P lol
I hope your health starts to improve soon. Health issues CAN be hard on the relationship...but remind him how much you love and appreciate him, and that you couldn't do it without him. Guys really do need to hear it even when they act tough. hugs, lovely. You're awesome. He just needs to remember.
Maybe he does want your attention, but not saying he "caused" your troubles to get it though .. I hope that made sense. I don't mean it in a bad way or anything.
Simply put... men are assholes... my failing relationship is what finally pushed me to get counselling.... I can't control my man but I can control me...
Holy shit. I feel exactly the same but obviously roles reversed. I spent 10hrs in meetings today after chemo yesterday and what happens I came home and had to cook tea. I have been so sick all day and not even eaten because everything I eat tastes like metal.
Comments
I hope your health starts to improve soon. Health issues CAN be hard on the relationship...but remind him how much you love and appreciate him, and that you couldn't do it without him. Guys really do need to hear it even when they act tough. hugs, lovely. You're awesome. He just needs to remember.