End of her life :( devastated not the word

SamiUKSamiUK
edited September 2012 in Not Pregnancy Related - NPR
I know I haven't been on here for a long time just need to right some stuff down as cant put it in Facebook


My mam as cancer in her Lungs, liver & both kidneys they tried chemo to prolong her life but the 3rd one left her really really poorly

She's had a syringe driver in and box of morphine what they usually give patients nearing end of life :(



I'm so f**king mad with the world right now!!!! She's 42 mother of 4 kids me (22) and 19, 15 & 8 also her grandson (my son) is one on 1st oct don't think she'll make it till then nurses have said could be days just had to ring nurse to come treble her morphine


My brothers & sister don't know she's nearing end of her life as don't think they can handle actually hearing the words spoken out loud & I can't cry in front of them anyway because they see me as the strong one

Comments

  • trixiesmom8trixiesmom8
    Awe hun I'm so so sorry!! That's a lot to handle for you. I hope she turns around and does better so she can be there to see your son turn one. Make sure you give time for yourself to grieve cause keeping it all in is not healthy.
  • mommyof3girlsmommyof3girls
    So sorry to hear this. God is with your mom, you and your whole family. I can't imagine the pain your heart is feeling. Embrace your mom. Will keep you all in prayer. :(
  • jodi102011jodi102011
    I am so sorry, my thoughts and prayers are with you during this difficult time.
  • MijitaMijita
    I'm so sorry for your struggles. Please forgive me for my opinion, but do you think your siblings will be ok having not known? As traumatic as it may be for them, there might be some necessary closure they need.

    You well be in my thoughts and prayers. God bless.
  • SamiUKSamiUK
    My older brother has aspergers youngest is autistic and middle as really disruptive behaviour so think its best they don't know they know she has cancer & that it's not curable just don't know that nurses have given her days to live I think the two oldest know themselves as more nurses & Drs come round now, she has the morphine syringe but think actually hearing the words they won't be able to handle it if you know what I mean?


  • MijitaMijita
    Absolutely! Then you are the best judge and advocate for your mother, as you know her desires. You are being a wonderful daughter and sister.
  • cheryl74cheryl74
    Heya hunny, you know where I am if you wanna chat. Massive hugs xxx
  • mommimishamommimisha
    I'm sorry... I'm going to pray for you... I hope she fights through this .. I know it's hard but stay strong!!!
  • LuvnMyBbyGirlLuvnMyBbyGirl
    I'm so sorry your going through this. She's in my thoughts and prayers.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User]
    I'm sorry that you're going through this. My aunt had cancer in her liver and it spread to her lungs but no one in the family knew about it until it was too late. She was in her 40's also. I'm praying for strength for you and your family bc I know what you're going through!
  • stephforever89stephforever89
    edited September 2012
    I went through the same thing about 5 1/2 years ago. My momma had renal cell carcinoma( kidney cancer). She passed at 48. The doctors tried everything: chemo,removal of bones ,and herbal/organic treatment. Which in turn bought her a extra year. It finally got to the point they kept her doped up on drugs so she couldn't feel the pain. My thoughts and prayers go out to u and ur family. From my experience cherish every monrt. Even have your siblings do the same. i regret it to this day.
  • SamiUKSamiUK
    Thank you ladies for the prayers & thoughts

    Just waiting on nurse to fetch another morphine injection cos one on the driver isn't strong enough
  • KylieMommieKylieMommie
    Sorry....my mom died of pancreatic cancer. My dad, brother and I all held her hands as she took her last breaths and cancer took her life. I hope you find some peace!
  • Proudmother1009Proudmother1009
    I am so sorry, I couldn't imagine losing my mother. I just lost my grandma last year, we were so close she was like a mother, I used to live with her. I will pray for you and your family. Spend as much time as you possibly can with her now.
  • PregnantELFPregnantELF
    Good to see you on here, sorry it had to be under these circumstance. I'll be praying for you and your family!
  • littlenat86littlenat86
    Oh sweetie :-( I am so so sorry. It cam be such a fast and cruel disease. I hope they managed to get her pain free last night. Can't begin to imagine what you are going through. Always here if you need a chat xx
  • dadof2n1togodadof2n1togo
    Thoughts are with you and definitely know the fear and pain you are going through. All the best.
  • SamiUKSamiUK
    @littlenat86 yeah they gave her shot of morphine at 10:30pm and me, her , lil sis and mams mate stopped up chatting till 1:30am but she woke up at 6:30am in immense pain shouting swearing crying saying she just wanted to go, telling me not to leave her and telling me she loved me I had to go take Archie for a walk cos I was so upset, then dr cams at 7:30 cos was no available nurses till 8:30 to give her more morphine he's upped her driver morphine to 30 mg & gave her a prescription for oral morphine that will take pain away until nurses can get out with shot of morphine what she can have every 2 hours

    Making her a big pork roast now cos she been craving one since I made her one lasr week lol xx
  • littlenat86littlenat86
    I hope she enjoys every last bit, it sounds yummy! I know you don't want to leave even for a little while but its good for you (and Archie) to get some fresh air. Hopefully the increased meds help her feel better now. Don't suppose the Liverpool score helping your mood, I'm hiding out in the kitchen while Stu is screaming at the telly! Not good! Xxx
  • SamiUKSamiUK
    @littlenat86 I'm not been watching haha playing mario cart on wii with lil bro & Archie he's giggling like mad holding onto steering wheel haha, we've been for a walk today with my best mate :) she's on nights ATM and not allowed to use phones but she's explained to her manager who's always in office on nights whos given me her number to ring if anything happens & she'll go find my mate and let her home to me, which is good cos joe starts new job tomorrow & don't want him to have to miss work even though his work know the situation x

  • [Deleted User][Deleted User]
    Im sorry i know the pain that you are in right now! I lost my father almost a year ago to lung cancer that had spread everywhere in his body he only lasted 20 days after been diganosed.. i sat with him and saw him take his last breath sept 23,2011 @ 7:30am.. nothing i can say to you will ease your pain, the only thing is ask god for strenght... all i can say is that im real sorry.... god bless
  • littlenat86littlenat86
    Glad you have someone there for when Joe can't be. Ah bless him! Riley likes watching Leo and loves the controller! In fact he loves all controllers, remotes etc, he is a nightmare! I hope your mum enjoyed her dinner! X
  • SamiUKSamiUK
    @littlenat86 aww haha you'll have to buy him is own remote lol and phone haha Archie loves my phone but puts any phone to his ear & says hiya he don't put them in his mouth any more

    Mam had a fab day yesterday that 30mg morphine in driver must've worked, did you see pictures on fb of us last night haha

    She's really good this morning, she just had a bit of oral morphine because walked to toilet :) xx
  • julesjules
    I am soo sorry I can't even imagine. But even though I don't know you personally I am so proud of how amazing u are with your siblings no wonder they look up to you. You are an amazing person and lot of prayers are coming your way also that your mom can have a another great day!
  • littlenat86littlenat86
    Yes saw the pics you crazy pair! Good to see you both smiling! Glad she is feeling better! You are doing an amazing job hun, sending a big hug your way xxxx
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