he cant have what he wants...
Long story short, I told my bf that he's going to be a daddy... needless to say he doesn't want to be. We are moving in together in about a month and he told me he doesn't want anything to do with IT. He wants me, without everything else. Before anyone says that its just jitters and hell warm up to the idea... he told me if he was me, the problem would be taken care of already, and he is always going to remind me that I am the only one that wants this baby. We are still together... bc deep down inside I hope that over the 9 months he will make progress and come to terms that he can't run from this. I love him with all of my hearty but I don't wanna be with him if he feels this way after our baby is born. Bc I don't want my child raised in that environment. He feels as if he's trapped bc of the baby, and its only going to tear us apart. I feel that its only as bad as you make it, and that you just have to look on the bright side. But he doesn't see it that way. Idk what I'm really asking here, if anything at all. I just need to get this off my chest. I feel like he's being immature and extremely selfish about the whole situation. If I can't run from this and ignore it, I don't feel that he should either.
Comments
If this Guy doesn't want to be w u and the baby what makes u think he'd be happy w Just u? It sounds like this Guy wasn't looking to settle down n marry u any time soon and now that ur pregnant he probably feels like he'll never be able to get out of ur relationship easily. Most guys are always looking to "one up" if u get what I mean. And having a baby will definitely halt him from that.
I really hope that you think about ur relationship in its entirety n maybe you'll come to realize that you can do way better by yourself then waiting ur entire pregnancy n trying to convince yourself of something that's most likely not going to happen. Again I'm sorry if this offends you or anyone else but I don't want u to be "blissfully ignorant" like I was (excluding the pregnancy) waiting for something that's not gonna happen for 5 years. Good luck sweetie.
Last night was when we got into all this... but today, while he was at work, he text me and wanted to tell me how much he loved and said he was sorry he couldn't be there for me right now, and he realizes that he is being extremely selfish, but he feels like he has to get his life figured out a little more before he can emotionally support me through this. He said he didn't know how long it would take, but he wants to be there, he just can't at the moment. So I know this is going to work out... I just need to give him time, and 4senough, I def think that once I start showing and I we can see the baby that he will warm up. Esp after the way he talked to me today. Maybe not completely, but enough to make this a lot less stressful for me.
Itsfinallyhappening, I know where you are coming from, but me and my bf had talked about marriage and children before. We were both waiting until my military career is over and he was done with college before we stressed ourselves out with wedding plans and babies. I'm not just another girl to him and he does love me. If he didn't, then he would've left me when I told him we might be pregnant. But he didn't. Nor do I feel like I can do better without him. I need his support and his love throughout this. I realize things will be hard, honestly... since when is a baby not. But I honestly feel like our situation will improve and I'm not being blissfully ignorant. I'm an extremely mature for my age. I've been blissfully ignorant in the past, and I've learned from my mistakes. But thank you for your concern
And juna I feel its sortof harsh to call him a scumbag.
@itsfinallyhappening thank you and I'm glad that you see that. Thank you for the best wishes and I'm sure this is going to get better.
@4senough. I have a feeling that's how my bf is going to be too... lol he just has to get used to the idea of becoming a daddy. And it doesn't really help that he doesn't like little babies haha. He wishes we could just skip all the diapers and bottles and go right to a 3yr old, although I'm not quite sure he realizes that a 3yr old is a lot more to handle than a baby. I'm the youngest child so I have lots of nieces and nephews, I know all about children. He on the other hand wasn't ever around children. So its a lot to get used to for him. He's literally starting from scratch