Spread To Thin, Now Im called the B**** (sry kinda long & venting)

Ok, so I have 2 major stressors in my life right now....my own father and my mother in law. My father is an alcoholic and has been all my life, and sometimes he will drink himself into having a heart attack....this has happened several times over the last 13 years. My mother in law has a brain tumor, has had it since before I met my husband, and she is legally blind. Neither of them can drive. For the past 9 years the two of them have depended on me, a SAHM, to drive them to various places such as Dr appts, grocery stores or just tag along with me when I go do something. Both of them are married but their spouses usually can't seem to do for them what they need, so it has always fallen on my shoulders. Also, these two dislike each other so if one finds out that I did something for the other, then they automatically need something.

Over the last year or so I've been becoming resentful as to being a taxi. I'm never really thanked by either of them, and they both seem to expect me to drop everything and do for them when they want and need it. I'm now 11 days from my due date with baby #4, and I have a 2, 5, and 8 yr old. My husband works 3rd and sleeps most of the day. My OB was concerned about me when I went I'm one day and my bp was way low and I was pale and tired. He told me I needed to slow down. I decided that I was done being a taxi and was going to focus on my family. I told both my father and mother in law that I was just being spread to thin. At first they seemed to understand, but now that I'm about to give birth they are back to needing to go here and there. I can hardly drive as it is and I just want to stay home. My fascinating thankfully has been working a lot and gets a ride from my uncle. But my mother in law says I'm being selfish cuz she depends on me and that if I don't help her then she has no one. That her son promised to always take care of her, which is true but I didn't make that promise, he did and I'm the one stuck doing it all. She keeps calling my hubby and crying and he told her that she needs to understand I'm pregnant and chasing after the kids, but then she tells him he is an ungrateful son and a pos and I'm the worst daughter in law ever....

I just feel I'm being spread too thin between these 2 and my hubby is trying to keep a balance between his mom and me but he just tells me to suck it up cuz she has always been a drama queen and he is tired of dealing with her. Well so am I!!! I honestly don't care what she or my father think of me of say about me anymore, I'm tired of doing for everyone and getting nothing in return. I need to be a mother to my children and a wife to my husband. What more do I really need? I think it is time my sister and hubby's sister step up and do for the parents now,one is single and the other has one child. Am I being selfish, maybe but I feel that its ok considering I've been doing it for so long.....


Sorry its so long but I really just need to vent this.

Comments

  • ** that is supposed to be father, not fascinating.
  • Tell them both exactly what they are : selfish assholes! You have to take care if yourself so that you can take care of your husband and children!! Maybe its a more predominate quality in southern women, but we say exactly what we think all the time and just add a "bless your heart". No matter where your from though, you are doing too much and baby #4 won't take to kindly to that when he/she comes out early!
  • I think there's nothing wrong with a little lie to the mother-in-law and your dad: Tell them you've been put on limited bed rest. Then it's off you and on your doctor. Get your husband in on it too. It might sound immature, but now is not the time for you to be going above and beyond. You need a break, mama.
  • @ jackieleemommyto4 the funny thing is my mother in law is from Georgia and so is my husband, but she seems to think that only she is allowed to say what she wants to me but I shouldn't say anything back and I'm sorry but if you are gonna talk about me like I'm nothing when I've done everything for you for the past 9 years, then you can shove it. We aren't speaking at the moment, but you know Ive been a lot more calmer
  • I agree with @babykixalot. Can't argue with the doc! They should b waitin on you anyway, not the other way around.
  • Oh wow, they are being selfish. If they are going to treat you and your husband like that when they don't get what they want then f*** them. You need to take car of your family. There are lots of programs out there to help with the sick and elderly. They can find help on there own. The fact that your mil gets so nasty when you can't help is a huge blinking neon sign saying that she is just USING you and obviously doesn't care about anyome but herself. Get out of that and even after the baby never ever do that for them again. How can you not feel like you are taking away from your kids whne you have such demanding fathe and mil? Get them the help they need to get the assitance from someone or something else and then step out! Don't let it drag your life down, not ok. You have an unborn baby to think about too. Please mama you are stressing me out, don't do anything to hurt the family you created. I stand behind you 100% for not being a taxi anymore!
  • Lady stop everything for them both. U have ur own family and responsibilities and if u keep this up u wont be any good for ur family. Tell ur mother in law that if she cares for her son and grandchildren then she will learn to become independent. Then worn her that if she dosent stop calling just to bitch then u will block her number. Why can't she call for a nice conversation? I know its hard to be mean some times but if u don't put a stop to this she and ur father will make u very sick and then who will care for ur family and for u. I've watched my mother in law with that same problem and now she is not only miserable but she's sick all the time. I worry about her but i have 3 kids and i'm pregnant with our 4th i can't help her and i won't not until she stops letting all those leached go for good. I tell her my opinion and worn her what will happen if she won't stop them. But after today i think she just might cut them loose for good. Ok enough from me good luck to u and stand ur ground ur not selfish ur a wife,mother
    ,daughter and that's all u need to be. No one said u had to be a taxi to anyone.
  • I really just don't care what either of them want, say or think any more. I'm not the person that they need to depend on anymore, I'm not a crutch. My kids need me, my husband needs me, and to be honest I need time for myself. If they can't understand that then that's on them. I've hung up my taxi keys and have my soccer mom keys out now.
  • Your husband needs to get s different family member like one of his own to take care of his mother. I think its selfish on his end to let you do this when you're this pregnant. And do you have any siblings or relatives that can help you out by helping your dad? I mean geez! And btw eff that woman if she finds out youre helping your FATHER wtf she cant tell you what to do with your family its bs. She's lucky you drive her ass around all day. She pissed me off lol and i dont know her.
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