My heart hurts. :'(

rjr33rjr33
edited October 2012 in Depression
I don't know what to do anymore. I am literally sick. My daughter is 6 weeks old and bd moved out a few weeks ago. I am so hurt I can't even function. The only reason I get up is because I have to take care of my daughter. I am so heartbroken. Idk how he can just do this to me after everything we have been through. I had a breakdown tonight and I can't stop crying he has no idea the pain he is putting me through. I wish he didn't want anything to do with our daughter so I didn't have to speak to him. I wanna run away so bad and never look back. He has hurt me in the past but this time it's so much worse because we brought this little girl into this world together and he just gets to walk away and be part time daddy. I don't know what to do anymore. I just want to feel ok. I hate him with everything in me. How do I get through this? :'( I literally feel like someone died.. I am beyond hurt. My heart hurts so bad.

Comments

  • misskristinmisskristin
    Someone did die, or something rather...Your relationship died and you are in transition not only into parenthood, but also as a woman with a broken heart. I am so sorry that you are going through this, but you can't let his ignorance control you. If he wants to be a part of your daughters life, that means he loves her. He let you go and you can and will find someone who is better for you. There is someone out there who will love you and never hurt you as your ex has. It will take time to heal, but focusing on your amazing gift will help. Try not to view her as someone the two of you created. You grew her, your body nourished her and she is alive and healthy because of you and only you. When she drifts off to sleep in your arms, it's because she is safe, comfortable, and happy. She will smile for you, cry for you, want only you, and that is because you are her mother and she is your daughter. See what I'm saying? There is more to life than a man, regardless of what there used to be. Try letting go of the pain & the past and look forward to a bright & positive future! :)
  • lillouloulilloulou
    I so agree with @ misskristin
  • ttcbabynumber4ttcbabynumber4
    *hugs*
  • captivatedcaptivated
    I know this is cliche, but it will take time. Eventually, you will slowly get better and happier. I remember my first heartbreak. I locked myself away for months, lost thirty pounds and cried every night and morning. Started smoking cigarettes and that helped. Then I started drinking. Poor decisions. After some time, I began to go out more and more. Now, she barely crosses my mind and I have an amazing fiance. Just try totake it day by day. I'm sorry hun.
  • second_time_mommy7second_time_mommy7
    edited October 2012
    Have you tried talking to him? It may give you some closure. Breakups are hard especially when there is a child involved, you know that person is going to be in your life forever. I would try to talk to him and understand why he is doing this so that you can move on. I have followed most of your post, and personally as hard as it will be I think you should face him and stop trying to avoid him. Once he sees you don't need him and you can move on without him he will be feeling the exact way you are now. Good luck!
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