help ; my relationship is going down the drain :(

LucasAndLolasMommyLucasAndLolasMommy
edited March 2011 in Pregnancy and fathers
Kinda long -
All I do if fuck up everything and the one guy I truely fell for I'm messing up everything!
For the past 5 months all I've been doing is being a little girl its not easy for me to show I love someone I means its easy to say it buh now show it I'm only 19 and my boyfriend/best friend is 27. I admit I'm still in my teenage stage even though I have a kid I have matured to be a mother buh there is always those times when I go to do something I think as high schoo drama! I want to change so bad - my bf doesn't understand how I was before him not saying I'm a slut buh I had guys around me all the time and I don't want that buh its gonna follow me for awhile at least there is this ex cqrlos that is crazy obbsessed with me and our relationship had been fucked up since he tried to come back in the picture so my bf asked me why is he on you like this y'all must of done something together and I just blirted out no buh me and carlos had sex and I felt so stupid and I felt like I couldn't take it back cause I didn't want him to think I was a lyer so I've been having to stick to this lie until last night me and him were messing around and we was talking bout something sexual and I said carlos and he started laughing saying you told me you never had sex with him and I know I fucked up real badmy bf told me I could leave and take the baby I'm prego with and he never wants to hear from me again not even a picture I know he doesn't want to be like his dad was he only knows his name I don't want my baby to be the same as my son his dad got deported 2 months before he was born my bf said he is gonna go back to puerto rico sell drugs and get killed. I've fucked up almost every couple days through our relationship and I can't keep saying sorry he won't believe me and he says my tears are fake our first fight I bought him a dozen roses and he said that's one thing that made him fall in love with me what can I do to show him I'm sorry and have him beieve its true I can't give him a break we live together please help I'm soooo lost and I can't lose him again

Comments

  • marriedwith_4marriedwith_4
    U can't change ur past or ur age! If he want to be with u then he has to love u for u. U are who u are sweetheart, don't change 4 anyone that's what makes u, u. Yes u change minor thing like spending, goin out, cooking but not ur personality. If u slept with 1 person that's always 1 to many for ur guy. From this point on just try to be honest
  • LucasAndLolasMommyLucasAndLolasMommy
    I tell him im going to be honest and for the past week we had no fighting at all cause I deleted Facebook and stopped texting cause I wanted to show him - buh then this comes up and When we were fighting he was saying im fake I never tell the truth and I always stick to my lies im like im Not lying buh he says I am and he swears that when I had sex with my ex it was When me and my bf were together I kept telling him no I've never cheated buh he doesn't believe me.
  • marriedwith_4marriedwith_4
    It sounds like he maybe trynna control n manipulate u a little cuz he older. All I can say is be u n don't change. If he can't see that ur trying then maybe he's not 4 u..... I hope things work out
  • LucasAndLolasMommyLucasAndLolasMommy
    edited March 2011
    He always says he think he taking my teenage years away im Like no they been gone since they day i decided to open my legs and think I was old enough to have my son.
    Im not ever going to change who I am I Just want to show him im Sorry and show him im mature enough to not be a little girl anymore!
    He says I don't respect him-_____-
  • expectingmy2ndexpectingmy2nd
    edited March 2011
    I just broke off my engagement because my fiance has insecurities and serious trust issues that stem from his past relationships. I am a trustworthy person and have never given him a reason not to trust me. He questions me all the time about past relationships, accusing me of still being in contact with my exes. He questions the relationships I have with my male co-workers. He thinks I'm up to no good on facebook even though I've told him time and time again that I'm on facebook to keep in contact with family and friends. We are both grown adults. Im 39 and he's 37 and I feel like he is trying to control me. I resent him for the way he has been treating me and every little thing he says or does bothers me. We fuss all the time especially since I became pregnant. The final straw was yesterday when he asked me a question about any of my ex boyfriends having my direct number at work and when I told him no, he pretty much accused me of lying. It's not the first time he has accused me of lying and I'm not a liar. Im not going to change who I am for anyone and he doesn't trust me and can't seem to love me for me and I refuse to allow him to control me so I have chose to walk away from the relationship. He doesnt understand and wants to work it out, says he will change but I've heard it all before. He isn't going to change overnight and he needs to seek help before I will even consider taking him back. I would rather be alone then to be with someone who doesnt trust me and wants to try to control me.
  • LucasAndLolasMommyLucasAndLolasMommy
    @expectingmy2nd what were you trying to say mama?
  • expectingmy2ndexpectingmy2nd
    @soon2bmommiof2 you should now be able to see my complete post.
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