stress

lealove

Hey ladies... I am so sad and stressed. My husband and I have only been married for 4 months but together for four years. After we got married we both decided to have a baby. It was a big decision considering I have two children from a previous marrage and he has two children also. But we both decided that we want one together. So we tried for two months and one day he texts me from work saying he decides he doesn't want to have a child and he is going to get fixed. I at that point started bawling.... and told him it could be too late, I might already be pregnant. Well... sure enough I was and so afraid to tell him. But I did and he said he is happy but things have not been the same ever since...we have been arguing over stupid childish things and today he put his ring on the table and said why don't I just leave him and he stomped out the door... any advice?

kara_lamek

Ohh wow. Hunny you need to find out what exactly his problem is. There is no turning back now with the pregnancy. He's probably just nervous. I pray he comes back around for you. The only thing I know to do honestly is to find the exact reason he's so disgruntled. It took both of you to make the baby and at one point its what he wanted... well he got it. I hope it works out for you! I feel so bad for you:/ im so sorry you are dealing with this.

lealove

Thank you so much for your advice and your support. I am so hurt and I am afraid to say anything because he will just get up and walk away. He has mentioned a couple times before... why did we get married... um why are we even together. I am just at my witts end and want to so what's best for the baby. :-((

kara_lamek

Im not married but I am engaged. My fiance has a pill addiction. He goes crazy when I say things like what your Hunny says.... he says it cuz he knows its going to hurt you. He's upset and hurt about something too. Idk what but you aren't alone babe. We all are having issues in some form. Im kinda stuck with the situation im in. I don't want my baby to have a drug addict father. I've never done drugs. Its rough but you have to lay your cards on the table to him. The truth might not to be exactly what you are looking for but then again it might be. Just stay positive. He might be upset about work. Or just the actual marriage. Most people argue a lot more after marriage. No matter how long they were together previously. What's best for your baby is for you to be as optimistic as possible and be strong. I know your scared. Not just about the pregnancy but your marriage. Just talk to him. You won't know till you ask.

lealove

Omgosh. I am sorry you are dealing with that. Relationships are hard. We are two different people trying to live together in harmone. What makes it really hard is I can't talk to him because he doesn't like to listen to my feelings... I hope things wil change. He has been stressed because we have been living pay check to pay check and he is a fire fighter and makes pretty good money. It is frustrating. Thank u again for your advice. It really helps.

LoveMyBoys

Wow, sounds just like my ex-husband. Asking why we even got married...all that crap like I tied him up and made him say "I do" and also impregnated myself. Men are so inconsiderate and a lot have no idea what they really want. They think they want something and so they get it and end up not really wanting it, after all. And yet, if you leave him...when you leave...he just wants you right back.

I agree with Kara. Need to find the core of his problem. Exactly what does he want? He needs to know you can't do this alone and you love him and you also love y'alls baby growing inside you that is part of him and he helped create. Running away isn't the answer, although, most men do. Good luck and I really hope he straightens up and starts taking responsibility.

kara_lamek

We are the same. Way but we live off my paycheck because obviously he blows his. Its been rough. Im usually left home alone all day till he decides to come home. By then im irate and he doesn't understand go figure. But he's going to have to start listening to your feelings. If he loves you and wants your marriage to work then he should learn to listen. That's the only way to get through an issue is talking. My fiance FINALLY started listening to mine and now he knows he has to stop the pills and grow up. Im sure he's just stressed about the situation with the paychecks. The economy blows. We all know this but put your foot down and male him listen and talk. You shouldn't be punished for being pregnant. That's not fair! Explain that!