Should I, or Shouldn't I ? What do you guys think ? (LONG)
Im always the advice giver, but this time I need some. Ok so I'm 18weeks2days Preggerz, &nd my BD & I has known about it since I was 10weeks. Anyways he's made it clear that he's not ready for another baby & wanted me to abort; I chose not to. So he calls himself mad at me, told me to leave him alone, & so on. Doesn't check on me or anything. We haven't talked in a month exact ..We're both hella stubborn & on top of that, our last convo. was hella ugly ..We told eachother some hurtful shxt. All this to say ..I miss his tail soooo much, its killing me honestly & I want us to get back on goodterms for the sake of my unborn. Should I call him & try to communicate(if he answers), or should I wait a little while longer n'see if he's gonna give in & call me?????
Comments
I don't women. Why wait to see if he calls when you want to talk to him? Guys are different from girls. They don't think like we do. If you don't call him he might think you two are done and move on. So if you really want to talk to him and try to make it work... CALL HIM!
Even if he says it is officially over ts good to know now instead of wondering.
I guess this is me. I don't believe in child support. If he doesn't want to be in the child's life. His lost. Child support to me is like trying to hold on to the man who doesn't want to be in you and/or your babies life. The best way to make him feel bad about him walking out is to just do better (with your baby) by yourself or get a better man. Plus its a stress especially if he doesn't cooperate.
But to talk about the good news, he just might apologize. Maybe he needed to blow off some steam and be by himself for a while. Just like you, he is going through change.
I know many friends and family members (male and female) who have children and are on child support.
Where I am from that is pretty much why most girls get child support. To hold on to him.
Now I never said or implied that is why all women do it. I just said that is how I feel about it.
I also feel if you don't want anything from him or to do with him why take his money? To basically get back him or keep ties on him. My opinion will never change. If he doesn't want to be there he can leave.
I'm not the only one who fees this way. My best friend choose not to get child support knowing she could get big bank from him. But she didn't. Why? His lost, if he doesn't want to take care of his responsibilty or atleast be around his child, so be it. She's not the only one.
I will never really understand child support or reasons why people get it.
I feel like this. Most pregnancies are not planned. So he tells you he doesn't want the child do you sue for child support? Neither of you (spreaking generally) were expecting to get pregnant. So he doesn't want the baby and you do. It is right for him to walk away? HELL NO. Is it right for you to sue child support? NO.
I know a couple of guys on child support. My guys friend is on CS and guess what? He quit his job and didn't apply for unemployment and BM gets next to nothing if anything at all. Pitting a guy on CS isn't gonna help if he is not cooperating.
@FirstTimeMommyToBe: I didn't say it forces them to be with the mother or child. A mother shouldn't have to take care a child alone that is true.
My point is no matter how much you defend child support. Child Support is just a spiteful way of getting back at a man for not taking care of his child.
Plenty of women raised children alone without child support and with no problems.
My father walked out on us at 7yrs old. Hardly took care of us before that. At first it hurt, but we got over it. My mom put it all in God's hands instead of the courts. Now fast forward into the future. Me and my are doing good. Where is my father? In jail won't get out until I'm in my 40's.
That maybe but I haven't seen that many. Its guys out here the quit jobs and get no unemployment and live off their girlfriends. Because some if not most of these girls will take care of them especially if they lie about the situation. I have seen it happen. I don't agree with it.
It's men walking around now that never paid child support in years and never been caught. Now men are counter suing Child Support and some are winning.
I don't condone Child Support but I wouldn't stop others from doing it because that is their decision. I'll give my opinion, but I'm not stopping anybody.
Thanx though Ladies ..I appreciate the advice, I needed that! & I will call that fool when I find out what I'm having. lOl
16. One of my friends pay 600 the other pays 700 and they both only have 1 child. An yes I get irritated when women complain he's got another baby etc etc. Meanwhile they're on #2,3 etc. Jmo
If I need extra help I'll do what most women who don't file for child support do. Truck it out. Everyone struggles
Not all women will get the same amount some women get only about 40 to 60 depending upon how much the guy makes. One guy got a job but he got seasonal part time job. She only get like $35 dollars out of his $100 (estimate) check. This is biweekly. It serves her right she only filed because she "heard" he cheated and dumped him. When in fact he didnt. Her jealous "friend" lied and she believed.
Not all women who don't get child support are putting their pride first. It's ways to take care of your child without child support. Women do it all the time.
Minimum wage here is 8.50 and going up to 9 either this year or next.
There is also Section 8, where the state pays for most of your rent/mortgage. A 2bdrm could be $700 but you only pay up to $85 to $100 a month. There are cheap and very nice apartments in good areas too. Just gotta look. Where I stay is considered a good neighborhood, a 2bdrm is about $600 to $700. I found one for $500.
Also there is the Link Card (food stamps) and you could/can get up $700 in that.
Some colleges (mostly special types of community colleges) pay you for going to school if you are a mother.
Now I don't think a lot of women are putting their pride first when they have to go through some of thee above.
Where do you think the money from your bd pocket is coming from. Tax dollars go to our paychecks. No difference.
Even with child support some women still have to get government assistance especially if they are on their own and aren't getting much from the bd. Which in most case they git pregnant by a guy that is not doing anything with their lives.