i'm not for abortion but this is becoming harder!!

nati

My boyfriend and I were really excited about having the baby that is on its way. But now that his mom knows..(found out by his 10 year old brother)! And now he is confused and having second thoughts! Due to his mom telling him stuff! I do not want to get an abortion because I'm really attched and so is he... but now this getting harder because our situation is really complicated for money! And it would probably make it worse for us! And now he is hinting more for an abortion and trying again later! This is so hard i don't know what to do any more!

BeautifulOne

Do what is right for you. I pretty much think everybody on here is strapped for cash, but we are still having our kids. It's going to be tough, but well worth it in the end. You can do this!

Proudmomma

No matter what unless you are rich there will always be a money situation. We are broke but we bought stuff along the way. If u want this baby keep it cause it didn't ask to be made but it was and it is here. I know you can do it. There are plenty of resources

myowndisaster23

I'm sorry you're dealing with this right now, cuz you should be able to be happy. Money does make things more complicated but I promise its not the end of the world. Don't make a decision about your baby based on anyone else's reaction even your boyfriends! You are that babys mommy and if you want to keep your baby then don't let anyone take that from you. I'm 24, married, and had my first at 18, even now I struggle from time to time. You'll never be ready to be a parent, you just make it work.

AlmostThere

Its gonna be hard but i'm sure everybody on here is goin thru the same thing. Not to offened but govt assistance is always there to help. Trust me because I'm taking advantage of that.

ghettobetty

You make the decision based on what you want! Only you! Other wise you will regret it... everything will work out in the end! By the way I hate my mother in law I don't listen to her at all!!! Good luck fallow your heart!

nati

Thanks ladies! I really do like his mom! Well my boyfriend has a really complicated situation not me! I want this baby so much! I'm in my 2nd year of college and my boyfriend hasn't even started his career either! I know my parents r going to hate it also... I'm not to strong in dealing with others feeling because it will get to me! But i know I can do it! but thank u ladies it means so much to me that you guys give me words of support!

beautifulnightmare

even if you two decide you cannot or do not want the baby theres other options... adoption... the baby didnt ask to be brought into this world ... but its here now dont take it out in such an adbrupt way....my husband an i have been ttc for years. i would love to have child of my own but adoption is just the same... either way the parents are going to love the child no matter. mother in laws 99% of the time are 100% against you.... believe me i hate mine and she hates me.... dont let any one else make that decision for you... this is your child...

artistmamma

@nati: Don't stress, momma. If you try to have a baby when finances are just perfect, chances are, something will always come up to hold you back. Paying off student loans first, buying a home, needing a new car, etc. I got pregnant to my bf of less than 1 year just 19 days out of Lap-Band surgery & two months after being laid off from a job I loved. Not ideal circumstances. Lol! On top of that, he was laid off at the time too, got a good paying job in November, & just got another lay-off last week. I'm 3.5 months from delivery, & he now has no money helping out, & I make very little on UC. Stressful as all hell, but I'm feeling my baby girl kick as I'm typing this, & let me say, I regret nothing! Stay strong!

nati

@beautifulnightmare- i know!! I want this baby! And i know other outcomes that would be better instead of abortion! I'm against but I feel as if my boyfriend is suggesting it! His mom has the idea that the same thing will happen to me that happened to her. But I keep telling my boyfriend that I'm way to determined to do what I have to do! I know my mom will be against me but to me this baby growing inside me I love already! And by the time October comes around and i can't do anything for this precious baby growing in me then adoption is the next best thing and hopefully later in its life i can c it again!

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pne6411

If you feel like the time isn't right for you two in my opinion adoption* would be better than abortion. Abortion is 400-500 + $ depending on where you live, not to mention the care afterwards, the pain and guit you may feel. If you can afford 400-500$ to fork out for abortion then you could probably care for the child.

nati

@artistmamma- thank you sweetie! I know i could support this baby! But my boyfriend doesn't have papers and hates the fact that he might not be able to support me and our soon to be love! I'm 19 and he is 20! And I understand where he is coming from and feel bad but I just can't find it in my heart! He is attached as well but his mom which i truely adore, is looking out for us but i can't do anything that i will regret later!

Mijaylasmommy1205

I think u should thino of adoption if anything. I don't condone you in anyway... but at the same time ur bany already is a life. Let that child have a good start at life, and give a family something they couldn't have them selves. I wish you the best in whatevr decision you make and were all here for you in whatever you decide and need to talk.

nati

Thank you@ mama0811 and @pne6411!!!

OM gosh you ladies really help a lot thank you so much!

pne6411

Welcome, sorry if my comment sounded rude. I want trying to be only tryinv to be informative. A friend of mine had an abortion and said it was the worst* pain she ever felt and it was only the pill not to mention she had every problem possible with her following pregnancy. Keep in mind if it wasn't meant to be it wouldn't have happened and best of luck to you both and in the whole decision making process

artistmamma

@nati: We are ALL here for you & I know how scary it is. My cousin, who is like a son to me, went thru it a year ago while his gf was 17 & he was 18. Neither had jobs, & it was stressful & frightening for them. But they wouldn't change having their beautiful daughter for the world, & they now have their own place. Everything worked out. Don't abort when you're already loving this baby so much; it's a regret & grief you'll never fully get past. A dear friend of mine still suffers & cries 10 years later - her own mom pressured her & even paid for her to do it. She never forgave herself or her mother. I can tell you're a strong woman already, & if nothing else, you could adopt. But I think you can do this! Either way, us Pregly ladies got your back!

Mommyy2Be

@nati I Had The Same Problem For A Week Or Two But I Thought Hard && Long Giving Birth Will Be The Best Day Of Your Life, Remember Everybody Deserves A Chance!

nati

@pne6411 don't worry i didn't think it was rude!

@artistmamma thank you so much! Knowing myself if i choose to do that i wouldn't forgive a lot of people either! My sister had my beautiful niece and my mother was the one who thinks of abortions! I told my mom ever since she told me about that and that she would force me that i couldn't because that is something i do not believe!

Its just hars right now! But know truely thinking about it i'm sticking to what i want!

Little1Cashew

No matter what you'll make it. My friends boy is 2 1/2 and they haven't found a job since he was born until now. You can't be prepared because if you think you are then the car breaks down or you lose a job etc.. If its in your heart you know you can deal with rough times to have this joy.

m2bhope

I'm not for abortion but I'm not against it. If you feel its right then that's your choice and no one can make that decision for you. You will never be financially ready but you make it work somehow. Even if they don't support the pregnancy you can

MerandaGarcia

Hey my baby daddy doesn't have papers either and we plan on getting married, but don't have the money to even start the process that is going to take forever! We are due October 4th and we know it's going to be hard but we are trying our best. I'm 19 and he is 21 we both have birthdays in May so that will make us a year older before the baby comes but that has really nothing to do with it. He works construction and it pays good when there is work and the weather is good. I'm currently seeking employment with what seems like no luck. We plan to apply to Medicaid soon and I'm going to have wic to help us too. I also have signed up for lots of coupons and free samples of maybe stuff. We plan to start buying things after our first. Ultrasound week by week. Start buying diapers and store them in a cool dry place you'll appreciate the stock once you start going through cases in what seems like no time at all!

new_mommy905

I think that nobody can/should make a decision like this for you... when I was 15 I found out I was pregnant.. I was so scared but I REFUSED to give up on my baby.. after having my mom ignore me for 2 weeks because k wouldnt abort the pregnancy, I finally decided to... I felt like my mom made the decision for me.. & I hated her for it... I was sad afterwards, almost to the point of depression.. & then my boyfriend of 4 years broke up with me.. It took me until I graduated to actually realize that it was the best decision I had ever made (even if my mom sort of forced me).. she was looking out for me & what was best.. I wouldn't have been able to financially support a baby, let alone finish highschool oln time or do ANY of the things I did during school.... I'm now 20 (until june) & I'm due sept 5th, I'm so excited but I know its gonna be hard considering I don't have an income.. only my fiance does.. but were getting all kinds of state aid (it really does help)... good luck to you with whatever decision you make.. but don't let anybody else influence your decision.. that's something only YOU can decide...

simone

Honestly..I don't think u should do something u may regret later. If u don't believe in something I wouldn't do it! Money is an issue 4 most ppl but I feel like God can always make a way! Trust me u can do it!! But hey its ur life & ur body..I just feel that u should really think it through past ur current money situation! Good luck!

Peachez

only u can truely decide because u're the one that's actually going through all the changes in ur body. I would say if u were initially happy then go for it. but try a counceling session with the daddy and a professional or with someone u trust. N try to find out for help for pregnant women around ur area. it's working for me at least tht how it's gona look like. good luck on your decision!!

jellybeaning11

Do what you feel is right for you! No one should make that decision for you. I would seriously think about adoption if you see no other way though. money is an issue for everyone but it always works out. And your mil might not want you to go through what she did but everything has turned out great right ? And if you can stay at home for as long as possible lol is the best decision when income is low. wish you all the best!

Mamato2boys

Good luck w ur decision trust urself bc I the end its u n only u that will go through the process of watever decision u make at the end it should only matter how u feel ive heard pretty amazing stories of struggling single mothers who have made it work I was 17 while preggo w my first n everything is harder but atleast Ihad motivation n an actual reason to live bc at the end of the day I do it all for them

perly

I think that regardless of what ANYONE has to say, at the end of the day this is your baby and it is your decision. No one knows the feeling you have deep down therefore no one should have an input. As far as your boyfriend, you need to sit down and talk to him privately...make him think and decide what he wants, not what his family wants but what he wants. After you both do that you still decide that abortion or adoption is best for your baby then so be it, but you cannot let anyone decide for you.

MommysWorld

Hey mama....im had that problem witn my son whos now 4....at the time I was 18 years old and my daughter was only 2 months their father pushed for an abortion and was very serious about it...we we both not working living with his mom.....but I didnt feel it in my heart to do so especially after having my daughter so I didnt....It was MY Baby I found a job at Macy and worked all the way up to 8 months...then the kicker (we broke up) this was more reason for me to work a little harder...so after having my son I found a waitress job and surprisingly I found myselv making tons of money very quickly without having to work long or late hours...this was enough for me to move out buy a car furnish my apt and be very happy and comfortable.....my children are now 4 and 5 and I cant explain in word how they make my world go round and WOULDNY TRADE IT FOR ANYTHING....long story short I got through it the first few montns were tough but its all about your determination...Im still on my own never looked back...their dads around they see him daily but with or without anyones help....I gotta be the best mommy possible

MommysWorld

Good luck....wish u the best O:)

suzy

Adoption. Please think about it there are so many people who want a little one and can't. I kn one of my best friends is one of those people. Wish you luck in whatever you decide