dont know how to tell the dad.

may_mama23

So, I'm kind of a bigger girl, and I found out at 24 weeks. Holy cow. I was 24 weeks pregnant and had no clue. What happened with me was when I moved to vegas from chicago, I wanted to switch b/c from femcon to seasonique, so they had me take a month off the pill to clear the hormones from my system as to not be a shock.

Well, the shock came when I went to the ob/gyn for a routine pap smear and I told them about an irregular period, turns out I was 24 weeks pregnant! After the initial shock wore off, and I had my ultrasound done, I was so excited! I actually cried when I heard my baby girls heartbeat for the first time.

Naturally my mom flipped out, and my dads still in denial. Lol but as the shock wore off and reality set in, everyone calls and asks, "what did you name her" or "who got you what so I know what to get". I'm very calm about the whole thing and very VERY excited to be a mom.

However, now that I live in las vegas and the dad lives in chicago, I have no idea what to do. I know I have to tell him, but he's very possessive and sometimes would scare me to the point where I don't know if hed hit me or not(he hasn't yet, and this side didn't come out until we were together for a while). I really don't trust him and if I think he could hit me, imagine what he could do to my baby.. I'm so happy here, and I know my baby will be too. I'm just worried if I tell him before she's born hell want to put his name on her birth certificate then we would fight over custody and I do not want that man to dictate where I live.

Best advice on what I should do would be much appreciated!

MrsHudson11

Honey, in all honesty if you feel in any way threatened or unsure you should leave him out of the picture; because even after the baby is born if his name isn't on the birth certificate he can still get a dna test ordered by the court and then you'd have to grant him visitation. The safety of your child is definitely of the most importance.... I wish you luck with whatever you decide.

VictoriaB

I'd have to agree. He sounds like he's potentially dangerous. Sometimes its better if they just don't know. >-)

VictoriaB

Woah, didn't mean for that crazy little face to be in there. (:|

VictoriaB

Or that one. Stupid phone...

mz_sanders

My brothers gf ran of with his son n the middle of the night. There was nothing he could do about it even tho his name was on the birth certificate. When u leave state and he cant get ahold of u even with the court thing it can take years b4 he can try 2 get any kind of custody if he even can.

may_mama23

Thanks for the advice, yeah, everyone I've talked to that was in my position says the same thing. The best thing that they did was leave the dad out of the picture.. I did call him and leave him a message, but that was two weeks ago now and as far as I'm concerned, I wash my hands of the issue. My current boyfriend is sticking with me, and I recently found out that he plans on marrying me and adopting my little girl as soon as he can (totally on accident.. I saw the engagement ring order slip from the forum shops and my parents number on his phone.. lol) it doesn't even phase him that its another guys baby. He says, "he doesn't have to be THE dad to be A dad. As long as she has a man she can love and trust, who cares what dna says? I love you, and I love her. That's all that matters."

Mrssmith89

Girl u better take that man n run. He is a good man stick with him

MrsHudson11

That's awesome that he thinks that way. You're very lucky, most men do not think like that. He definitely sounds like a keeper.

grissy_barria

If you already have somebody else then there is no reason to worry plus here in Vegas ( I live here and went through all that already ) the court goes for the mother if she is stable and not on drugs plus if your new love wants to adopt that's awesome my new husband adopted my daughter almost 4 years ago and now were expecting our second girl if you need any help just message me Vegas is a wonderful place to raise kids I'm happy here

katlilly

Who says your new love can't just put his name on the birth cert. No one will be none the wiser! Just saying!!

katlilly

Not sure that sentence was right lol. The Bio daddy will be none the wiser. Sorry haha, had to get it right

lily_glz

I agree with katlilly!