He's moving out.....AGAIN!

edited April 2011 in Pregnant
I own a cute little 1br condo that I bought when I was very young. It was great when it was just me but now with a bf and a baby on the way its cramped to say the least. I found out after I bought it that I wasn't allowed to rent it out and the housing market is preventing me from selling. Im trying to make the best of the situation. I've figured out how to give the baby his/her own space and I'm actually excited about it. My bf on the other hand isn't feeling it. We had some issues when I first got preggo, he decided not to come home a few nights, and I put him out. I took him back and things had gotten better until last night. We got in a huge fight and he didn't come home again. Tonight he comes in wanting to talk. I told him not coming home is unacceptable regardless of the situation and I wasn't putting up with it. One thing lead to another and he informed me that he doesn't feel like this is his home and he still has his old apartment which he goes to from time to time. This really hurt my feelings. I've been trying hard to make this place work for us. He has keys and his crap is everywhere. I don't have keys to his apartment or anything there. I told him if that's how he feels then that's where he should be living and he left. This weekend I plan to pack his stuff and change the locks. I don't think its fair for him to live 2 places and come in and out of my home when he feels like it. This is not how I planned to start our family. I would leave this place if I could but I can't. I don't understand why he can't make it work until we can buy a house like we planned for the sake of our family. I feel like he's being selfish.

Comments

  • Wow I feel for ya girl. I'm kinda in the same situation. If he truely cares about his child your carrying, he should compromise. I think you're doing the right thing by packing his things and changing the locks. If he really has a problem with it, why doesn't he offer you both stay at his place? I hope things start looking up for you girl!
  • Yup, tell him if he doesn't want to be a part of your family, so be it. He can go kick rocks. The part about him not feeling like its his home and yet his crap is everywhere is ridiculous. If he wants to be involved with you and the baby, he will be.
  • I totally agree. And why r there double standards to him having a private get away that is babymama free??? Hummmm not comforting
  • I agree with u on that
  • @tandtsbb His "bachelor pad" is horrible. I stayed there for 1month when I first moved back from Florida and it was miserable. Its also a 1br, so no better then my place but at least my place is renovated, clean, and nice.

    @victoriab Hes very excited about the baby and involved that's why I'm shocked its come to this. I know he's going to want to move back once the babies born but I'm firm on him not living 2 places. We're supposed to be in this together.
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  • Now is not the time to be selfish these men.are something else I tell u
  • edited April 2011
    What me and my boyfriend had to learn is its not good to say things when we are mad at each other ... because you can say or do hateful things ... and with us starting a family we dnt want to fight in front of are lil one ... so we said when we feel like we not getting any where or that its getting to apoint where we know we goin to fight .... either I say enough no more or he say its done I had enough we both walk away it take alot out of you because I'm so use of fighting ... but when you mad you do and say things you dnt mean... it nothin that you can't work out so its best that you both go your own ways and when we both calm down that's when we talk ... because we on two different team at the time and I'm tryin to get him to understand how I feel... and really we on the same team he understand me more and I understand him when we both calm down ... try doin that with him it take time getting to that point but it stop alot of fighting we still working on it the another day it all went out the window lol... but it do help @mommys1bundle
  • @2blessed2bestress You're absolutely right. I'm super fiesty and my bf hates to argue. When he didn't come home I figured it was because he was somewhere clearing his head. I still don't thinks its ok to stay out or have another place. We both have communication issues (and some other issues too lol), but nothing deal breaking. I suggested counseling and he looked at me like I had 2 heads. Its just that I know we can make it. We just need to iron out some things.
  • You so right you can make it keep Fighting. No its not okay... tell him that and tell him how you feel try to have a heart to heart... and ask him why do you feel like this not your home??? Yall can do it iron it out... its just getting thow the little bumps in the road....
  • edited April 2011
    I mean keep fighting for the relationship... lol i just read wat I put dnt want it to be took the wrong way
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