DIFFERENT PARENTING SKILLS NOT ABOUT HITTING!!!

blessed1508

Me and bf have very different parenting skills. FOR EXAMPLE our son has peed twice in wk on the living room floor and once in the kitchen. First thing I wanna do is hit him tell him he doesn't pee on himself he pees in the toilet.... bf approach take him to the bathroom and put him on the toilet!!!! for what?!? he did the shit on the floor he doesn't even say anything to him. My son is almost 2 1/2 knows exactly what he is doing .....

The point of this topic. how do some of yall couples deal with different parenting skills!?

pinkbaby0930

I would tell him to pee on the toilet and take him in there. I wouldn't hit him it just makes it worse. Its a slow process. Try not to get frustrated.

blessed1508

the thing is usually when he has to go he gets his stool turn the light on. move his stool take it to the toilet pees flush goes to the sink and tells us he needs to wash his hands. like he knows what to do .. getting extremely frustrated @pinkbaby0930

pinkbaby0930

Ugh that is frustrating. Maybe when he does it start taking a favorite toy and tell him he wont get it back until he stops peeing everywhere but the toilet.

mums_the_word

I'm not judging your parenting skills here, this is just a genuine question, is hitting a child legal in america? Cause its illegal in England

one5one

You shouldn't hit you kid for that. Ur bf is right. U correct the behavior by showing the little one where he needs to do his business. If you hit him for that kinda accident he may start doing it more often. Kids don't learn like that. They revert to baby behavior & sometimes go backwards instead of improving. Have you tryed taking him to the toilet to sit after meals & sit with him while reading a book? Or put him on the potty every hour or so just in case he gots to go? Or try asking him often....do u gotta go potty? He'll learn but it takes patience.

blessed1508

@mums_the_word no its not But beating your kids is a no go!!! @pinkbaby0930 great idea THANKS

Lmamajohn

Me n my husband are totally different as well we jus split the parenting up where im weak at he deals wit it. We TRY lol to agree on who has the best approach

one5one

@mums_the_word its a fine line here. It can be abuse to some. I guess it depends how hard & how often & why u hit. I used to tap my kids bottom or hand. Like if she was touching knives or outlets ir pulling hair. not hard but as a hey! Wat r u doing. But that was when she was young. I didn't care for it. So I started to talk to her tell her why she can or can't do things. She's very understanding helpful & just a great kid. We talk things out instead of me always wacking her.

blessed1508

@one5one I stated above that my son knows exactly what he is doing. knows where the bathroom is, he goes, flush the toilet and everything by himself he knows where to use the bathroom at and where to pee

blessed1508

@lmamajohn well we might have to try and each of us discipline on different things. thanks

FirstTimeDaddy

I think hitting works. just dont over board. n hm. idk w this lil girl on threat idk how we r gonna di it cuz I dont think I should hit a girl. my dadd hit me. never my sisters. my mom hit us all so I wolfs rather her do it. n w her 3 boys I dont think id hit them. I dont have that relationship w them. at least not yet

one5one

It really doesn't matter if he knows or not. He may think that the kitchen is a fun or safe place & when a kids gotta go. He's gonna go & not always remember to run to the toilet. Try asking him & escorting him to the potty more often. When he has an accident explain why this is not allowed & that people use pottys for that. He's still little it does take time.

InLoveee

Of course beating your kid is effed up or always jumping to hitting them when they may not know better but if like you said my boy knew where the bathroom is and knows that's where he pees but then goes and pisses on the kitchen floor...well, you best believe ima smack his ass and then tell him to take himself into the bathroom...

blessed1508

@firsttimedaddy o hitting works lol my dad beat our asses four girls mom never hit us. we stayed out of trouble he put the fear in us and has our kids afraid of him. they love their pa paw they just know he don't play lol

And this topic was not about hitting it was about different parenting skills. so people trying to be a bitch in a nice way can be rude somewhere else :-)

blessed1508

@inloveee lmao yeah its a hit not a let me beat your ass. he laughed about it today and said I peed this time dad made him whip it up

..... guess we shouldnt allow to whip it up .... hmmmm

FirstTimeDaddy

yea I get u. my mom put the fear in me but I just dont think a man should hit girls. just what I was brought up om. n yea different parenting skills cuz I dont think my gf will b like that. I think its gonna b more talking to n reprimanding than hitting

one5one

Maybe him wiping it up is useful. To whip it up is not good.

PEsMommY

I've never beat my son, but he has had a few spankings in his life, he's 6 and I've hit him 8 times in his life. I know people will think I'm just biased, but my son is a really good kid, listens to anyone in authority, uses his manners, has responsibilities, does good in school. His teachers comment and I have family members that beg to watch him, and friends that want him round their kids to set a good example. So hitting worked for me.
Back to main question. My hubby and I disagree sometimes on parenting, one of us thinks the other is too hard or soft on a subject. What we do is go where my son cant hear us and discuss why are reasons are better in our eyes. Sometimes we agree sometimes we don't but we'll try to work together to compromise. Doesn't happen much cuz my son is already disciplined. It's mostly lil things and when something does go down we catch it right away

blessed1508

@firttimedaddy that end bitchy part wasnt for u btw lol but yeah that does work for some. my oldest sis doesn't hit her kids because she was the troubled kid out of us and didn't want to hit get kids like my dad did us and her kids run all over here!!!

InLoveee

@blessed1508 yeah he sounds like he thinks its funny or wants attention lol so smacking him is deff not a big deal but anyway enough of having to defend the "hitting your kid BS" lol Have you and dad discussed in private how to be a little more on the same page with your guys patenting? I talk with my man about that know before we have our kid cuz I can't do that ish when the baby is here. I grew up that way we always knew not to ask dad anything because he would say no and that mom would say yes and override anything dad said prior to her...thus causing them to fight constantly

one5one

Thanks for not using my number when talkn bout me!! O:)

blessed1508

@one5one ok bitch some people obviously misspell words its not uncommon. but I wanna be grown women and start drama is very common for pregly people guess u fit in here

babyinblack682

My son is same age and knows exactly what to do also but occasionally he pees on the floor tries to pee outside like while walking down sidewalk we just remind him its not the bathroom and take him in sit him on the pot whether he went already or not. I mean come on he's not an adult doing it its a learning experience for everyone

blessed1508

@inloveee no but I will talk to him about doing that. hopefully that can solve some conflict around here thanks hopefully it helps but I def know it will take time

2ndbaby

(Warning my son gets up at 7-9am doesn't nap and doesn't go to bed till 9-10pm)
I ran into a situation where my son didn't want to take a bath tonight. Granted he was in the middle of a movie, but I needed to get him the bath before I left for work bc I was trying to be nice and let his dad be stress free after a long day of work. Well his dad got mad bc he refused to get in the bathtub. So he started taking his clothes off and put him in the bathtub and told him to start washing up(well when i bath him I always wash him up I would rather get it all done faster and then let him just have play time in the bathtub) Well our son doesn't want to do it he is overly tired and crabby so he maeks him sit down and starts washing him up but is bein gmean about it. Our son is crying Mommy, I want mommy. Well he try stopping him telling him he is scaring him. His approach is to force him to do things all the time. While mine is to force him sometimes but I always try to listen to him and try to calm him down so he can tell me what is wrong and then try to comprimise. (if you let us do the bath then we can cuddle after bath and watch a movie.) Example maybe wrong but only one i can think of.(well she doesn't want to have sex so i'm going to force her to do it.) I never want him to see that forcing ppl is the one way to do things. Sry so long but that is my approach to parent. I choose compromise

mommys1stbundle

I have to disagree with some of you ladies. If the child is potty trained and peeing himself on purpose then a couple taps on the hiney might not be a bad idea. Call me old school. Spanking your child is not illegal as long as its not abuse.

@blessed1508 As for different parenting styles. My bf has a more stern parenting approach than I do. This is our first but ive observed his style with his nephew whom hes very involved with raising. I wouldnt step on his toes or undermine him especially in front of the child but it is important to be on the same page. Youre situation is a little different since its your stepson but the kid would not be peeing all over my floors. Let him try his way. If it doesnt work, point that out, and strongly suggest you both figure something else out.

blessed1508

@2ndbaby thanks for your input. me and my bf used to work weird hours different days of the wk. our son wakes up at eleven ( to late for a nap right lol) but don't go to bed until 1 or 2 in the morning. its like he is going to miss something so he stays up . we don't mind it cuz bf stays up late. but both us has new jobs we start soon and baby coming soon he isn't goibg to like his new schedule lol off topic but I felt your pain about no nap lol

blessed1508

yeah it just gets me how people get off topic so much on here ugh at least some people do it classy ..... yeah I guess there are a few old school people left @mommys1stbundle

2ndbaby

@blessed1508 Well i work as a night nany so on the days that his dad works days i like to have our son ready for bed as a way to be nice, I guess my problem is I want my son to grow up with the ability to say how he feels. And be free of mind but his dad doesn't see it that way. I do it where if he does something wrong I take a toy that means something to him away as oppose to time out bc i feel if he loses something that matters to him for a night or weekend then he will learn that misbehaving or doing something he shouldn't then he will lose toys. I dont really think time outs do anything bc all it does is put them in the conner and force them to cry. The only time i ever spank him is if he does something that could hurt him, if he touchs the hot stove then he will get spanked that way when he thinks about touchnig the stove he will remember the pain of what happens when he does. May sound wrong but ever parent is different. Truthfull yI think his dad is just overly stressed and tired an dhates how his life is so he get tired of hearing our son cry or fight us on something that he just feels the need to force him to do something.

@mommys1stbundle The post wasnt solely about potty issues it was how you handle parenting skills when the other parent has a different approach

PEsMommY

Sorry I got off topic