Parental rights?

elle_baby

I'm going to be 6 months on Thursday and with my current situation the bd isn't in the picture at all but he has a crazy way of thinking. So I am thinking ahead so in the long run he won't put me through more stress. He always tells me he wants to be with me but he has a gf his dad told my mother and of course he denies it being the liar that he is. He never wanted the baby but always txts me and bugs me at random times even when I tell him to forget I exist. I know he will use the baby as an excuse to see me in the future especially if I end up getting a bf he will try to make my life a living hell. I already know how he works, there is so much more to this guy. He is into drugs and just such a manipulative liar. Once my son is born I will not allow my him to be anywhere near him. What will be best for me to do so he won't ever put me in any situations that he will have to see my son. What exactly happens when he signs over his parental rights? I know its different in every state, I am in CA. Or what other options do I have? Any advice will help : /

blessed1508

don't let him sign over his parental rights. u won't be able to put him on child support

Mybabe

Supervised visitation where a court appointed person will be with him and the child and you don't have to be around it...

elle_baby

I was told that signing over parental rights will have no effect with child support. Meaning parental rights just gives him no rights as a parent but doesn't take away his responsibilities. I tried researching and it says that too but I'm still unsure because it also said it depends on the judge & state. & it just doesn't add up.

@Mybabe With that do I have to prove he will be an unfit parent and isn't capable of watching my son without supervision?

Mybabe

Your right about signing over rights the father of my child mentioned he wanted to go that route he will have to pay child support but he will have no rights... you can't refuse the money if you want its up to you...with supervision yes you will need proof the father is unstable and it wouldn't be a safe environment example you could take pictures of him with drugs write dates and times bad things have occurred that he has done basically anything that's unsafe and if the baby was around would put the baby endanger ... @elle_baby

chrissy07

You have to prove it becUZ he can say the same thing about you the judge needs proof to make sure that your not doing it out of spite or to hurt him if he's as unfit as you say start saving the text and documenting the unstable things he says and does maybe if you tell them he does drugs they will order him to tale a drug test..goodluck I'm sorry he's that way try to enjoy your pregnancy tho for you child and yourself

ethansmommy122

@elle_baby I would much rather have him sign over the rights than get the child support if that means he wouldn't be around ever! My first sons father only wanted to be in his life if I would take him back..when I made it clear to him what a p.o.s. I thought he was and had no chance gettin back with me he walked! Thank god! Id rather struggle financially than have him come around for the wrong reasons and be a half assed father! I really need to figure out my state laws and get everthing straightened out legally for our benefit in the future..also so that my fiance can adopt him b/c he is the only real father my son has ever known! I know some states say the guy voluntarily gives up his rights if he's not involved or providing financially within a cerrtain amount of time..so check ur state laws or mayb contact an attorney just for legal advice. Good luck!

elle_baby

@Mybabe @chrissy07 Now being able to show he is unstable will be the hard part since he plays his role real good he is a college grad and has a good job. But I can probably get proof by text & pictures I have. Thanks.

Oh yeah my mom just told me if the guy isn't around for like a yr or two then he automatically has no rights but that's a long time of stress and I know he will be making my life hell. I am with u on that one rather him give up his rights even if it means no child support. Guys can be so crazy its sad right. Good luck to u as well and thank you : ) @ethansmommy122

chrissy07

You welcome I mean even some presidents have done drugs so as long as you call his bluff I think you will be fine he can be a graduate and have a good job but that doesn't mean anything stay strong

mrs_shu

@elle_baby double check what your mom told you b/c average time frame to be considered abandonment is 7 years

pregoagainYAY

Don't let him sign the birth certificate and don't give the baby his last name....as far as signing over his rights I always thought they didn't have to pay child support because he gave all responsibility up when he signed over rights......

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elle_baby

@dncrcass exactly! They try to trap us! Worse than girls! Yeah same here my child is keeping my last name and he sure as hell isn't signing the birth certificate.

paganmom

I am not allowing my bd to sign the birth certificate either. He pushes the issue but after him threatening getting a restraining order on me after I told him to leave me alone...well let's just say he is trapping me as well. Even goes as far as being nice then provoking me and taunting me by saying you are easily provoked. Bastard. Be smart...it sounds like you are. Good luck with it all and enjoy your new baby!

elle_baby

& then they try to make us think that we are crazy right. We have the worse type of guys. If they think having a child with them means we have to be with them then they should think again because just like they can make shit difficult for us we can do the same and be the meanest B****** till they go away. Like we deserve to be happy! Thanks, good luck to u too! @paganmom

Mandielynne

He can only voluntarily relinquish his rts. When baby is born u can only file for joint custody with supervised visits and legal placement of the child with u if he refuses to relinquish his rts. Than there is mediation, if u bth cannot come to an agreement it will go to court at which the judge will prolly grant u joint custody sine drug usage doesnt determine whether or not hell b a good dad. After joint custody is awarded u can only file for sole custody if u can prove changes of circumstances in the custody order. Than after that u can fight for him to relinquish his rights or to prove him unstable enough to be forced to sign over his rts. Its not abandonement til 7 yrs so it will b a nasty costly battle. Do yourself a favor and pay for a certified parenting class that your local family court provides cuz they wont move ur petitions further until u bth complete one and u can take it now to be ahead of the game.

KalikoJenie

And just because you sign away your rights you still have to pay child support. A lot of guy friends I had at one point signed away their rights and now they are still stuck paying child support, cuz the mom still went after him of course, and no they don't even get to see their kids or have anything to do with them.