Same sex parents

edited May 2011 in Pregnant
Hello, I just wondered what everyone thinks about same sex couples having a baby? Someone related to my husband is having one via ivf with her wife and i am not cool with it but not sure why, i think its mainly cos i know it will be bullied when older. What do you think amd i wrong to be concerned for the child?
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Comments

  • I think it's great. As long as a child is brought up in a loving home full of support and kindness I'm happy. That will be a wanted child and most kids couldn't ask for more. :X
  • I can understand why you'd be concerned, there has been quite a bit of kick back and hesitancy to accept same sex parents but statistically speaking there is literally no evidence that shows that same sex couples are more likely to raise a troubled child or a child that is more likely to be homosexual. If you think about it, same sex couples are not able to have a child naturally and therefore when they choose to become parents, they want a baby to love and protect more than anything, they are not taking that blessing for granted.. I have many homosexual friends, one of them is married to another women and 2 weeks further along than me with a little boy and I am 1803943% confident that that child will have an incredible life.
    Please watch this, its incredibly moving and accurate
    http://www.usatoday.com/communities/ondeadline/post/2011/02/teens-speech-to-iowa-lawmakers-on-life-as-son-of-gay-parents-is-internet-hit/1

    and bear in mind that heterosexual parents make irresponsible choices on a daily basis that lead to their child suffering from childhood obesity, the results of which lead to some of the worst kind of bullying.
  • I see nothing wrong with it. As long as they r properly cared for in every way, im all for it. I actually dnt think some man/female couples r capable of raising children.
    Children get bullied and picked on jus for having a unique name. I dnt think the fact that they have same sexed parents will increase the bullying lol kids r cruel no matter wat.
  • @excitednewmom - great point. Kids will pick on kids for any reason they can!
  • @lilbun915 its so true. Ive seen children bullied for any reason under the sun. Wat they wear, how they speak. Its so sad.
  • I think the problem is that i only know of one child at school with same sex parents and she was bullied to suicide and i really dont think things have moved along that much that the same cant be said to happen. Also this lady inparticular states that it has been scientifically proven that gay parents are better than straight ones basically putting me down, and is also a very obsessive child like character. Possibly the problem is mainly with this person in particular and not so much same sex parents in general. I have lots of gay friends who would probably be mortified to read this but i just remember how cruel kids are and know they have a field day with this sort of thing and i dont know if i coud bring a child into the world KNOWING they will get bullied?!
  • @ponylover, if you don't mind me asking, what part of the country are you from?
  • @ponylover wen bringing a child into this world they r subject to being bullied whether u kno abt it or not. I got bullied for being skinny and tall. We try to protect our children frm as much as we can but theres no way we can protect them frm everything, esp bullying.
    But i think ur rite. Maybe the problem is with that person in particular. In those cases u may never kno, some children r actually more understanding of the world than others. It depends on how ppl raise their kids. Personally, i dnt think any type of parents r better than another cuz like i said i kno a lot of man/female couples that shouldnt even be allow to reproduce lol seriously tho
  • My best friends parents are both women. When we were in high school she never had a problem...never teased. AND we live in conservative south Texas. Yet she had no problem. Her parents are the greatest moms I know (:
  • I personally don't agree with it. Just my personal opinion. I'll probably get bashed for that but oh well.
  • @lilbun915 I am from just near essex.

    @mommyforever thats good to hear especially from texas lol, not known to be the most acepting of that sort of thing!

    Thanks all.
  • @AandK1031 Thanks for being honest i think alot of people say they are fine with it cos thats what they feel they should say im sure alot of people are weird with it espeically as it is so new.
  • I was raised around women, my moms a lesbian. Never had a lifetime relationship, but a few were long term. And my family consist of 95% women. Lol. It never dawned on me that she was gay, til I accidently saw a kiss when I was about 11-12 I think, but it didn't bother me either. Nowadays its really common for it to be known. I got teased in jr high, but only cause a friend was and still is a 2 faced bitch. But I grew up happy and loving men.
  • I lived in South East Texas.. I don't think it matters where you are from.
  • It's become very socially frowned upon to not support homosexuality. I'm not ashamed of my opinion. That being said, I have friends that are gay and I don't think any less of them because of it! I just personally don't agree with it.
  • @ponylover i dnt think some people say they're cool with it bcuz they feel its wat they should say. There r ppl who r jus naturally cool with it. Ive had a bunch of friends growing up who had same sex parents so its really not a new thing to some. I think it jus depends on how u were raised. My mom never raised me to see anyone differently despite any differences. Her own mother didnt even teach her to be that way but she made sure we were. I love that she did that bcuz now i have an open mind n im more accepting of different kinds of ppl
  • I say go for it! Coming from a super liberal. Open minded mommy! Who are we to judge? We don't bash single parent homes anymore why would have something against same sex parents? You can be a great parent no matter the sex! And kids always bully.... its part of life and our job as parents to teach our children haw to deal with it.
  • This is my aunties story.
    She pretty much raised my dad since he was 4 and she was 16 when their mother died very suddenly of an anurism and my grandpa spiraled downward after that. She married a man at 18 and they loved eachother very much. She has been infertile since she was a teen due to an accident an injury. This man wanted children. My Aunt and him divorced on good terms, so that he could seek a woman to give him children. Back then, in vitro was still in the beggining stage of being discovered, and not very available to just anyone. The risks and benefits were still unknown. So she move to california with my dad in tote and raised him till he was 18. She was still dating men. About 16 yrs ago she met a woman and fell in love. She came out to my family and the response was mixed. Her partner was not immediatley accepted by everyone at first. However, they stayed strong and eventually my family fell in love with her partner as well. My Dad and her are now best friends. She is such an important part of my family and loves my Auntie so much.
    so, they had always wanted children but my Aunt is infertile, an her partner is, how should i say this- the "dude" and is not getting pregnat lol. There's more medical explanation with testosterone and estrogen being backwards and displays more male characterisitics even tho she is a female, and i don't get much into it.
    Ok so about 5 or 6 years ago my aunts partners neice had her 4 boys taken away due to neglect, physical abuse, and sexual abuse on all 4 boys by her then boyfriend now husband. :( its very traumatic. The boys are now 13, 10, 7, and 6. The 13 yr old is with his Dad who is amazing and that boy is doing the best emotionally.. The 10 year old is with his grandma (her Mom) and suffers from misplaced sexual anger. Its very sad and hard to explain. He is sexually violent and in my families words, looks as those he will grow up to be a pedophile and sexual assailant because of what has been done to him. Its not his fault but he is very damaged. The two younger boys are with my aunts. Who r gay. But they are heroes. The 7 yr old is bipolar, has adhd, and also suffers from the sexual violence in so many ways. He remembers what his mother and that man did to him and his brothers. The youngezt one is autistic and has severe fas. He doesn't remember anything, thank the lord. All boys also suffer from effects of their mothers drug and alcohol use while pregnant with them. All boys r in therapy and go to special schools to help deal with the tramatic past and the effects. The 3 youngest have been in the foster care system since being removed from their mothers care. The grandma, who is the gay partners sister officially adopted the 10 yr old after fostering him for about 5 yrs. My Aunt an her partner officially adopted the two babies after the same amount of time an on the same day. The adoption hearing for all 3 was held in one courtroom together and the party was the happiest thing I've ever attended. It was just this last october 2010. I was in the courtroom, and in no way does the fact that my aunts are gay have anything to do with the miracle that has occured. My Aunt is now 60, her partner is 37. Their love has never been stronger since caring for these boys. And they are very open with their relationship to all the family and its not akward or confusong to the kids at all. They have two mommys that love them with every bit of their hearts. They know they r adopted and they know who their birth mother is. And they know why they arnt with her anymore. They r loved and it doeznt matter what organs their parents have.
    i wanted to share this long story because i hope it helps u realize love has no judement and no preference. A parent isn't a Mom and Dad who can lay down an make a baby. its a person who has a heart only for their child. Sometimes a parent comes in a different form than what's "traditional". It doeznt matter tho. Nobody should judge. Because everybodys story is different. I hope this helps anybody who feels "weird" about none traditional parenting.
  • I was raised by a same sex couple...my aunt and her partner...never once was I bullied and we were very open about it...I strongly support same sex couples having families...they want it so bad that they'll go to any lengths to make it real...
  • @babyboyontheway wat a beautiful story. I hope it can help some ppl to jus have an open mind
  • And i didn't mean to offence anyone who is against it or to start arguements i just think that maybe hearing this can help someone to think 'u know, thank god for some people for doing what they do for these kids, whether they r gay or not'


    @ExcitedNewMom thanks that's what my goal is. I don't want to convert anybody just to open minds. And even if a gay couple just simply what a baby for that simple reason, more power to them! My aunts never imagined this i how they would end up with babies in their lives, it just happendd by gods will and they have never been more thankful.
    My Aunt is now looking into fostering infants until they find a permanted adoptive family. But i told her she can get her baby fix by babysitting for me lol!
  • @babyboyontheway im sure it wasnt how they planned it but its beautiful the way it happened. She wanted a family badly n seemed like she deserved one so she got it. Even tho its not traditional its her family, wat more can anyone ask for? I think they r doing a wonderful thing.
    lmao n yes convince her to babysit for u, everyone wins!
  • I think its great I raised my god child for 6 years with my ex gf before he went back to live with his mom he was never bullied and is a great kid my friend has a mom and a step mom she was never bullied and is married now with 3 kids to a man. My bffs r raising two girls and they r very spoiled and want for nothing make great grades and whatever I think its wonderful
  • @aandK1031, I don't think you should be bashed for your opinion at all, Youre entitled to it and you communicated fairly and with kindness. Don't be afraid to share your opinion either.. I think what is important is tolerance. *hugs* :)
    I do have a question for you though and I'm totally just curious but how would your family handle it if one of your children was gay?
    I agree that many people probably say theyre "fine" with homosexuality or same sex marriage because the pressure otherwise is probably overwhelming. which is sad but in the past 10+ years gay rights and awareness have become pretty unignorable and even for someone like myself who is very socially liberal, it can be overwhelming but again, I believe tolerance is key.
    Here is what I compare it to.. my grandparents are total throwbacks, my dads dad was raised on the south side of chicago by a conservative italian family and his wife, a devout polish catholic.. that's pretty much all the history you need. Fastforward 30 years later, 5 kids and 26 grandkids.. One of my cousins became engaged to a black girl, he was actually one of the first grand kids to become engaged and get married so most everyone was TOTALLY thrilled! She's the best :) But, I will never forget the conversation I had with one of my grandmas sisters, she said "I just don't understand it, what will happen if they have children?!" and I was just totally totally shocked, I was like "what do you mean what will happen?" She was legitimately concerned about the quality of life that mixed children would have.. she asked where they would "fit in" and was adamant that they would be made fun of and join gangs or run away from home because their father was white and their mother was black and their skin was somewhere in between. (the most perfect skin EVER btw!) As if theyre parenting would be ANY different than a couple made up of 2 people of the same race..
    To me, the challenges of different cultural backgrounds will build character and expose children to the wonderful gifts that come with having an open mind. Does that seem asinine to anyone else? I was just so blown away by that whole thing.. Now my cousin and his wife are the proud parents of an 18m old boy named evan who is, just incredible and happy! I really believe it's not any different than same sex marriages.
  • My bff and her wife conceived through ivf with a SD. I think it is a great thing and they will be the most loving parents any child could ask for. I know this situation is not conventional to everyone out there but everyone has a "right" to their own family whether society agrees or not.
  • My family's mentality is reject the sin yet love the sinner, meaning we are all equal in the eyes of God and judgment isn't ours to pass. My family would lovingly accept my child, as would I, if they were gay. However I would make sure to share our point of view as well. I believe in tolerance. Passing judgment only pushes people away. Love and acceptance bring them closer! I don't think biracial couples and same sex couples are the same though. I just personally disagree with the act of homosexuality, not the people who practice it! I hope that answers your question! @lilbun915
  • After my babydaddy left I started dating a girl. My daughter is not biologically my girlfriends of course but she is willing to be in the babys life 100%.
  • I think a same sex couple could be just as good of parents as different sex couples. My boyfriend said he think the same thing of same sex adoption/babies as he does same sex marriage..I asked what that was and he said... that they shouldn't be denied the privilege of being miserable if they want it. Not saying that babies and marriages make you miserable, but for some people it does and who is he to say that can't have that shot :)
  • @kalikojenie ur man is hilarious! Lol
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