preglys against porn (NO DRAMA PLEASE) im looking for help!

edited May 2011 in Pregnant
To all you ladies against it, I need help. My husband has an addiction and its really destroying our marriage. What can I do?

Comments

  • Will he see a counselor or a pastor or something?
  • Idk hun but when u find out let me know
  • Weve already spoaken to our religious leader, and for a while he cleaned up his act, but he has fallen back into it and is trying to hide it.
  • Well if he is willing he may need to go to a therapist. This is an addiction just like any other, alcohol, sex, drugs.....I hope he can get the help he needs to save your marriage. But also he has to want to get help. It won't do any good unless he wants to stop.
  • I know. He says he wants to but just wont give it up. I don't know what to do. Do I deserve to ne tossed aside for something like that?
  • There is a program you install called K9 web protection. Set it up on all computers and type in a bunch of gibberish as the paseord. :) My husband and I live it!!! We both had problems with porn and it has helped us immensely. :) Plus good old communication on how it hurts us. We also talked about it openly with our college pastor during our premarital counseling. :)
  • How is it destroying your marriage? In a he won't touch you cause the hand doesn't take the physical effort way? A skipping dinner to look for more way? Ummm nasty illegal go to prison if someone with a badge sees it way? Kinda need details like that to give good advise
  • Of course you don't deserve to be tossed aside. I am not defending him, but if this truly is an addiction, addiction is like a disease. It is something that he just may not be able to overcome on his own. I would find a good therapist in your area maybe get a referall from you family doctor and have your husband go talk to them.
  • Or loose the computer or keep the computer in a high traffic room of the house
  • @beaded_bunny why do you need more information then what she gave?
  • I guess I'm not against it because its "evil" and if he is addicted then how addicted. putting out a candle with a fire hose doesn't do anyone any good and it just leaves a bigger mess. But blowing on a forest fire doesn't help either
  • Thanks @headersue. I appreciate all your suggestions.
    @beaded_bunny I don't feel comfortable giving a whole lot of details but he's irratable over everything and wants to fight a lot. When we fight he uses it as an excuse to watch it and it makes me feel like its my fault. We hardly ever have sex because I'm sure he thinks I'm gross compared to porn. Overall I just feel like he's pushing me away for it.
    @Mrs
  • It really isnt going to help. Even if he generally felt bad about masterbating, which is the case when you're young and start. Eventually you realize its really kind of natural. Now depending on the kind of porn he watches that would be the only thing to present a problem. Stuff such as child porn, rape, incest, etc. Thats actually a problem that can develope into the individual seeking more than just watching it...

    Im not trying to upset any of you but i started masterbating at the age of 12 and i still do on a pretty regular bases. So i kind of know what its like to enjoy watching it. Im very open about it with my bf and he watches porn too, sometimes we watch it together even. Its not a disease though. Im just trying to help.
  • @MrsForesee I installed k9 but he still has full access on his phone.
  • Now that youve described your situation better it sounds like you two are experiencing deeper problems than just his watching porn.
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