have him at the birth or not? a little long!

This is my third child and he will have a different bd then my first two. The first two have a great father. We work together and he is great with the kids. He was at the birth of both of them. This child father has not been there for the whole pregnancy. He cheated on me 2 weeks after I told him I was pregnant and was in jail 3 months into the pregnancy. He has not been there for me the whole pregnancy and now wants to be there for the birth of the baby. He allows his family to influnce how he acts toward me (such as they didn't believe me until I had my first ultra sound and even then thought I was faking it).
I don't want him there for several reason. This will the only time I will be with the baby alone. I have been through the whole pregnancy alone and would like to give birth alone. (Like I started this journey alone and I want to end it alone) Plus I don't want him to see me in that state of vaurnablity, pain and discomfort. I don't mind if he comes to hosptial and waits in the waiting room or something. I want to be the first to hold the baby. I don't think that he should be at the birth because he hasn't been there for the nine months. He hasn't helped with anything. It is like he got me pregnant and then walked away. I feel like he is just coming in when it is convient for him. Like he plans to go back home alone after the baby is born. And he plans to to see the baby once a month. Yes he lives far away but when we were together I put all the effort into making the relationship work and he is only willing to put in once a month for his son. I feel like it is a waste to the child.
So the point of this is how do I tell him I don't want him at the birth of the baby?

Comments

  • just tell him straight up you don't want him there.. he can't do anything about it.. if i were in your position i wouldnt have him there either.
  • Simple don't tell him when you're in labor. I wish I hadn't told my oldest daughters father! I should have waited. I told him my water broke you have to come get me now and my mom left work to take me he showed up 2 hours later when I was close to pushing. If you don't tell him he'll never know. You don't need him if he's not suppotive to you he'll just get in the way.
  • I wouldnt tell him when I go into labor, n if he were to find out, just tell him u dont want him there, dont sugar coat it, he hasnt been there so why should u be thete whenever he wants sometjing, if he really cared he should be around before baby is born
  • Oh and those l&d nurses know how to tell ppl to leave. Just let them know your wishes and they will follow through!!!
  • No... I would not tell him you goin to be in a lot of stress,pain, and you dnt want to be in any more stress that day its about you and your baby he can see the baby when your done pushing and when you settled down !!!
  • I do feel a little guilty because this is his first child. But at the same time I don't feel bad for him because of the choices he made forhimself. I just don't want him there. It is the end of one journey and the begining of another for me and I don't feel like it is much of anything for him.
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