judgemental sisters, any suggestions?

Kriss82001

I'm the youngest of 4 kids with 2 older sisters who are driving me crazy abt being pregnant! I had my twins when I was 16 & I almost died having them, & was told I could never get pregnant again because of it. That was almost 10 years ago! Now that I am pregnant again my sisters are tainting this miracle child. Everyone else in the family is incredibly happy, including my brother, but I can't get these two to get off my back.

My oldest sister had her tubes tied about 7 years ago, but now she's trying invetro, & its never took. Everytime she gets it done & it doesn't take, she yells & screams abt how she had an mc. I understand its upsetting, but that's taking it a bit far. Now its her telling me how irresponsible of me to be having another one since its dangerous for me, & then she'll flip to how its not fair that I wasn't even trying but managed to become pregnant, but she can't have anymore.

My other sister has been trying to have a kid for forever with whoever, & has managed to not get pregnant. So I'm getting the samething from her about how its not fair that I am without even trying. I've been really sick with this pregnancy & she's been telling me to suck it up, & just being a pain all around.

My brother tells me to ignore them like I always have, but they are going out of their way to make my life miserable & I really don't need the stress from them on top of everything else. Any suggestions on how to deal with these two? Sorry its so long, just wanted to paint the right pic abt the two of them.

firstmama

It seems as thou their jealous and taking their frustations out on you. They don't seem to understand that its not your fault that they can't concieve. I would say to basically sit them down and tell them how you feel, with your brother present as the outside and non siding party. If they still continue actin a fool then break away. You really don't need the stress right now

0utlaw_Sphinx

I agree with firstmama. Their behavior is unacceptable and entirely inappropriate. Talking to them may help but I don't think it will. I hope it does mind you! However, I think its important to tell them how they make you feel and that if they don't knock it off..what the consequences will be. As an older sister myself I sometimes forget that my own sister is an adult. I don't always approve of her choices but I'm there for her. That's what families should do

Kriss82001

It seems like its always been me & my brother against them. They've always fought to be the center of attention, & I like hiding in the background. I tried talking to my oldest sister, but she told me that its her duty as the oldest to inform me when I'm messing up. & the other is bipolar & off her meds right now & is just impossible. Its not like I was trying, I had 4 doctors tell me that the twins were all I was ever going to have & I finally came to terms with that. I just wish they could understand how special this is for us, & how excited we are, & nothing it seems is getting through to them.

firstmama

And instead of being happy for you their tearin you down? Sounds like jealousy. And with you being the youngest, it prob lifelong jealousy. I'm startin to think they won't care bout your feelings at all. Instead of bein happy that your blessed wit more kids and being happy to be aunts their tryin to make you their scapegoat? Did you get a lot of attention as a child? Its more that their unhappy with themselves than they bein jealous. But I would stick with your brother and try to forget bout them for now. Ignore them and they may start to realize that they can't get to you with meanness.

Kriss82001

Nah, I didn't get a lot of attention, at least not more than the others. I was the bookworm, tomboy, who always new what I wanted & went after it. School always came easy to me & I got a full ride to college, & I'm doing what I love. I prefer to be alone most of the time, or with a couple of friends, never cared how popular I was. They've never approved of anything I've done or that I don't care about the lastest fashions really drive them crazy. I was hoping I can mend this with them, but I don't think I can, its not up to me, its up to them. I guess ill just leave them alone & hope they come around eventually.

firstmama

Good luck to you and enjoy ya pregnancy! Its your time to be happy. Your brother sounds like a blast n good support system, keep him around. My cuz makes me laugh everytime I call him.

Kriss82001

Thanks! He's amazing, I don't know how I would have survived my childhood without him. His son just turned a year old, so that's helped him a lot. He's always loved kids, but now that he has his he wants everyone to have more. Its hysterical!

Neubst2

I had been trying to get pregnant for 3 1/2 years when I found out my sister and her husband got pregnant out of the blue. Two weeks later I found out my sister in law and her husband were pregnant out of the blue. Although it was quite a shock, I took a deep breath and rejoiced for their miracles. As much as my heart hurt for me and my husband, I was so excited to be an aunt for the first time twice A few months later I found out I was pregmant. I honestly believe in the power of a positive attitude. Keep your head high and focus on you and your baby. You two are the most important people right now. Keep your attitude positive even when it hurts I promise it will pay off. Good luck to you and I pray your sisters come around sooner than later.

Kmose77

Thats when I say love from a distance. Its family I know, but some times its good to have some seperation. You would never let a "friend" treat you this way. You shouldn't let them either. If your sis had her tubes tied thats her fault not yours. I would just let them be. If they want to know why your not around let them know. But don't let them put thier jealous selfish attitudes on you. So exciting, take care of this lil one!! Be happy!!

natashalynn

Your biggest thing is keeping that bean inside you safe, & safe includes minimal stress!! Its always, always sad when sisters fight, especially when you really need them. But until they come around & treat you & that child with respect..
Focus on the positive. I wish you all the best.

BabyRosalee

Your situation sounds tough but I agree that any stress is the worst thing for you and you need to put yourself first. I don't understand what they would have you do, terminate the pregnancy to save yourself? It doesn't make sense and doesn't seen to come from a place of love and concern. They need to ask themselves if they'll be prepared to tell your child someday what they say to you now.

Kriss82001

@birth_guru_22 I don't think they want me to terminate the pregnancy, but with every prob I've had with this pregnancy, they don't hesitate to tell me how its my fault because I never should have gotten pregnant. Doesn't matter that I wasn't trying to get pregnant. & if I'm having any problems them come up with an even bigger drama to get the attention back to themselves. I've just been ignoring them & keeping them out og my life. It hurts, but its for the best.

Rissalee7

Ever since we found out my lil sis has been acting out alot she turns eighteen in may so im hoping she will getting wrapped up in graduation stuff

bummy87

I wouldnt worry sisters r good like that- dunno y but my sister m/c n then a wk later told me I had 2 many kids the second my first was born. I didnt say snything just kind of died a lil inside dont think ppl see consiquences sometimes especially when hurt or jelous still not nice to say to a pregmant woman

Kriss82001

@bummy87 its just hard to believe my own sisters can be so hurtful. One even asked me the other day that if I died giving birth to this one, could she have it?! I couldn't believe her! I just kind of stared since I couldn't think of anything to say.

bummy87

thats pretty harsh my sisters have put claim to my kids if I die to but honestly mum would have them. they just jelous u have what they want n having kids completely changes ur level of maturity n how u deal with life situations, they just havmt grown up yet

finallypregnant2

I think there just scared and jealous allwraped into one so you need to talk with them not ignore them and tell them your concerns and let them know that you understand that they are upset that it isn't happening for them and that you also understand that they are worried about your safety but that you can handle yourself but would like their support and if they don't want to just to not talk to them about baby things anymore but I hope they come arround and the one who is trying with whomever tell her to go get treated for pcos its worth a shot if that's what she has there are ways of treating it so she could get pregnant. Good luck girl

Kriss82001

@bummy87 if I die, the kids are going to my bf, plain & simple. I just couldn't believe she actually said it! But she's never had a mute button so I guess I shouldn't be that surprised.

@finallypregnant2 I've tried talking, even my parents stepped in & they still won't stop. Its insane, I'm the baby & ill be 26 in abt a week, you would think that they would have grown up by now. I'm a very private person, probably because of them, at least a little, and I rarely talk abt what's going on with me. My oldest (the one that got her tubes tied) is refusing to talk to me right now because apparently I got preggo just to spite her, at least that's the story this week. & the other with pcos, I really hope she doesn't get treatment, as bad as it sounds, because she's not stable at all & can't even take care of herself.

finallypregnant2

Oh my gosh ur sister is immature then u need 2 not let them stressed u out.

Kriss82001

@finallypregnant2 I do really appreciate the advice, I think I've just given up on them for awhile. I was never really close to them, I just don't understand how they could be like this. & I'm the kind of person that if there's a prob I want to fix it, but I don't think I can fix this one.

finallypregnant2

U right u can't fix it they will need to change so u need to not talk 2 them about the baby till they have change.

bummy87

I totally forgot my husband guess I presumed if I die so will he lol