Please help! anyone else with nightmares/evilmother issues?

Juneduebug

i have been having nightmares that are very vived and i will wake up to pee, then when i fall asleep again they continue for the rest of the night, regardless of how many times i wake up. has this happened to anyone else? also, alot(but not all) of them are about my mother, who has been physically and emotionally abusive for most of my life, and whom i have had no contact with for a year and a half. i have read that pregnancy can make you dream about your mother, due to motherhood thoughts, but i am also aware that most people have "normal" mothers and for them this would not pose a problem. please, if anyone has had this experience, or has any idea why this keeps happening, please share. i am becoming afraid to fall asleep, it is as if my life is turning into a Nightmare on Elm Street.

Juneduebug

*vivid* sorry for the typo

PEsMommY

I don't have nightmares bout my mom, but I do have really vivid nightmares bout my MIL. She made my life a living hell during the planning of my wedding, and in the end she didnt show n convinced almost all of my hubby's family not to come. She stalked me online, and said so many hateful things, threatened me with diff stuff and all in all just was a monster. My DH decided back in jan to cut ties with her, but lately she haunts my dreams. My mom wasnt abusive but left me with ny dad when I was 2, were close now, have been since I was 19 but I've also had dreams of leaving my children maybe just our worst fears playing out in our states of unconsciousness

Juneduebug

@Seifer12211 thank you for your response! i am on week 34, did these continue indefinitely, or do they come and go? i dont want to have nightmares every night for the next 6 weeks!

PEsMommY

I'm 34 weeks too! and I had a few during the second trimester, but they've hit me hard since week 30 and it's a nightly thing this past week. my husband reassures me that it'll all be fine. But the dreams are so real. I didnt have one last night (thank god) but I accidentally took nyquil n it knocked me out quick n heavy. Im hoping they stay away but wont bet on it. What's your dreams like?

artistmamma

@Juneduebug: Many therapists will recommend that their patients write out disturbing dreams in a journal after having them. Sometimes, this simple act can be very cathartic, & help them to not return. I've been dreaming of my ex a lot, & the mere thought of him makes me sick. We can't stand each other, but there he is, in my dreams, disturbing me. I think it's because I was pregnant to him twice when we were together & miscarried both times - part of the reason he cheated & left is because he believed I couldn't give him a child. I'm now pregnant to a wonderful man, so I hate dreaming of my ex. I hope these dreams stop tormenting all of us soon!

alilboulding

I've had nightmares like crazy.. lotsa natural disasters n ppl trying to kill mme. Very vivid n gory. Mine pick up where they left off too unless I like get up, moving n get my mind off it. My MIL is a nightmare herself, but thank god she's not in my dreams

alilboulding

PS. I told my doc about them nn she said it's probably how my mind handles my stress and anxiety

jellybeans_mommy

I have nightmares none of my mother but mostly about funerals & me being harmed its scary I juss pray about it

breewashington08

I have dreams about my ex (who stalked me for a litl over two yrs aftr our break up) its usually the same dream about him chasing me tryn to steal my baby an I'm running as fast as I can with my baby clenched to my chest. I think a lot of the dream has to do with the fact that he wantd children with me but at the time I wasn't ready an when he found out I got married then later had a baby his stalking level went thru the roof. Creepy bastard.

bambi_bump

I had very vivid dreams about my bd cheating on me until about week 25 when they suddenly stopped. I'm now 39 weeks and they've started again. I know thats not really a nightmare but I was/am having them 3 times a night every night.

Juneduebug

@Seifer12211 in my dreams she is guilt tripping me, pushing my buttons, exploiting my fears, yelling, fuming, or attacking/choking me. The worst part is that in the dreams i have regressed to the point of apologizing to her to pacify her. Also, I fear for the safety of my child. I hope it ends soon, and I am sorry you are going through something similair.

Juneduebug

@artistmamma thanks, but I hate writing dreams down because I forget them as I write them. I might try talking to our camcorder tho. Hopefully we can all sleep well again soon

Juneduebug

@alilboulding I try moving, but it doesn't seem to work. How much moving do you do? Maybe I should just get up and sleep more later?

Juneduebug

@everyone I am sorry you are going through this also. I hope we find relief soon! Thank you for your words/advice.

artistmamma

@Juneduebug: Maybe just talking about them will be enough to help make them go away? Or at the very least, make them feel less traumatic. Dreams, in general, are often just a collection of our thoughts, sights, senses, experiences, etc., strung together in a way that is sometimes linear & makes sense, but often appears garbled & confusing. When we dream of bad things, it's usually our brain's way of forcing us to "live" through & deal with stresses & issues we tend to avoid in daily life. Some people will dream vividly often; some people feel they don't dream at all, or have no memory of them whatsoever. Dreaming of abusive people in our lives, ex's who have hurt us, cheating partners, etc., is our mind saying, "Deal with this hurt so you can heal from it & move past it." I didn't start with the ex dreams until around week 30, & I'm at week 33 now. Sorry for the rant, but I do find dreams to be fascinating! At the later stages of pregnancy, as their brains mature & develop, our babies are inside of us dreaming, too!

Juneduebug

@artistmamma I appreciate the info, and I do have an educated understanding of the workings of dreams. The problem is that I am actively working on these issues already, and in therapy every week or two. I really don't know what more I can do to work on it. It is not something I am repressing or avoiding, I am constantly working through these issues. Maybe there is no hope for me.

Juneduebug

PS I have been openly talking about these things and trying to heal for 18 years.

artistmamma

@Juneduebug: Awww...I'm so sorry this is happening to you. I didn't mean to imply or infer that you didn't understand the reasons behind why we dream. I'm sorry if I came across like that!
I was just sharing what I know, as I do find the subject fascinating, & have actually wanted to study Psychology since I was a teenager.
You're doing everything right by not repressing your hurt & seeking therapy as you are. I applaud you for doing so, as many people seem to keep their pain inside & suffer in silence, rather than reach out for help. I hope these dreams resolve themselves for you. Were they like this before pregnancy? If not, maybe it has something to do with our crazy baby hormones, & it will fade away in time after your baby comes. All I can tell you is to stay strong, & I'll be hoping this ends for you soon so peaceful sleep is yours again!

Juneduebug

Thank you, and I didn't take offense at all, I just wanted to explain myself a little better. no, before pregnancy I had gotten my dreams under control. I hope its just hormones! But even if it is, it still is hard to handle. And there seems to be little I can do about it. Tonight I am watching nothing but comedy, and plan to listen to nice music as I fall asleep in hopes that it will help. Thank you for your support and concern

Juneduebug

@artistmamma see above

artistmamma

@Juneduebug: I understand 100%, sweetie! And you're very welcome. If you need to vent or just want someone to tell your dreams to, I'd be happy to listen (well, read)!

alilboulding

I usually get up n get some water. Just last night I had a nightmare n came on pregly just to read n stop thinking about it. I really have to get my mind off of it

Juneduebug

It happened again!!!!! This time she snuck into my dream, literally. In the dream she secretly snuck into my house while I was trying to sleep/sleeping. I am so angry right now! None of my precautions made a difference.