Phone call telling me to come get my daughter!?!? Need help. (really long)
Okay, so where to begin?
I was in a major car accident, I lost my job, apartment etc..
And after my 5 year old's father took me to court (after he found out), I lost her too.
Since I couldn't financially or physically provide for her at the time.
I have tried being apart of her life, I have 1st 3rd 5th weekend visitation and holidays.
But him and his family have refused to let me see or speak to her.
They even moved and changed their phone numbers.
So, my husband gets a text at the dinner table a few nights ago saying to call my daughters grandmother.
I do, and i'm told that the father failed a drug test with CPS, so now the grandmother has power of attorney.
If she wouldn't have taken power of attorney they would have put my daughter in foster care. WTF, why was I not informed?!? Oh because he tells everyone including her school he has FULL custody, but he doesn't.
He also moved 3 hours away to be close to his new probation office since he received his second DWI. He is not even allowed to be around my daughter unsupervised and isn't allowed in the apartment complex the grandmother and my daughter are living in.
She told me she has tried to tell his PO and CPS he is using synthetic cocaine but they won't do anything.
She basically said she can't raise my daughter and I need to come get her. Now the thought of this makes me jump for joy.
I seriously have been crying my eyes out because I can't believe this is really happening. But I have a court order in place...
What if he says I kidnapped her or something? I don't know what to do, or even who to speak to. I cannot afford an attorney. I can't afford to be in jail either. She says she will put in writing that she is giving her over to me.. but told me the father thinks shes just going with me for summer vacation because she doesn't want any drama.
We just put 20k down on a house, and now i'm upset because if I would have known this it would have went to a lawyer.
but I figured, if I have a house and car and good job and go back to court, then maybe the judge wouldn't be such a f'n prick this time. (he really was a prick) I was hit by a drunk driver and broke both my legs and arm, WTF am I suppose to do? He is one of them "fathers rights" advocates. Even my lawyer at the time warned me about him.
I don't know what to do. I feel like I have to go get her. If him and his mother don't want to take care of her, then i'm her mom I should be the one to step up and do it right? Even if there is a court order? I don't even know where to go speak to a judge about this or what paperwork to file. any words of advice or wisdom? Please?
I was in a major car accident, I lost my job, apartment etc..
And after my 5 year old's father took me to court (after he found out), I lost her too.
Since I couldn't financially or physically provide for her at the time.
I have tried being apart of her life, I have 1st 3rd 5th weekend visitation and holidays.
But him and his family have refused to let me see or speak to her.
They even moved and changed their phone numbers.
So, my husband gets a text at the dinner table a few nights ago saying to call my daughters grandmother.
I do, and i'm told that the father failed a drug test with CPS, so now the grandmother has power of attorney.
If she wouldn't have taken power of attorney they would have put my daughter in foster care. WTF, why was I not informed?!? Oh because he tells everyone including her school he has FULL custody, but he doesn't.
He also moved 3 hours away to be close to his new probation office since he received his second DWI. He is not even allowed to be around my daughter unsupervised and isn't allowed in the apartment complex the grandmother and my daughter are living in.
She told me she has tried to tell his PO and CPS he is using synthetic cocaine but they won't do anything.
She basically said she can't raise my daughter and I need to come get her. Now the thought of this makes me jump for joy.
I seriously have been crying my eyes out because I can't believe this is really happening. But I have a court order in place...
What if he says I kidnapped her or something? I don't know what to do, or even who to speak to. I cannot afford an attorney. I can't afford to be in jail either. She says she will put in writing that she is giving her over to me.. but told me the father thinks shes just going with me for summer vacation because she doesn't want any drama.
We just put 20k down on a house, and now i'm upset because if I would have known this it would have went to a lawyer.
but I figured, if I have a house and car and good job and go back to court, then maybe the judge wouldn't be such a f'n prick this time. (he really was a prick) I was hit by a drunk driver and broke both my legs and arm, WTF am I suppose to do? He is one of them "fathers rights" advocates. Even my lawyer at the time warned me about him.
I don't know what to do. I feel like I have to go get her. If him and his mother don't want to take care of her, then i'm her mom I should be the one to step up and do it right? Even if there is a court order? I don't even know where to go speak to a judge about this or what paperwork to file. any words of advice or wisdom? Please?
Comments
I will say with certainty that the courts failed you. He shouldn't have even been allowed to move & change his number without informing you first. And as the birth mother with partial custody, YOU should have been the first person notified & offered full custody, instead of his grandmother stepping in. That's absurd & appalling, & I would ask an attorney if you can do something about that, too. Your rights were circumvented. That should never happen.
So, call an attorney, get yourself a free consultation, & go from there. Maybe you can get one to allow you to make payments, or is there a relative/ friend who could loan you the retainer fee? Look at all your options. Do whatever it takes to get your child back! I wish you the best of luck!
I think the judge was totally unfair.
But the way they made it out to be was at the time I was a single mom with no job, car, living with my mom etc.
So I accepted it and found out later he lied about everything in court.. saying he had a house car and job.
He made himself out to be a great father, which he isn't.
And this just goes to show it, he left my daughter with a woman who is disabled and a nutcase.. the grandmother is in need of alot of surgeries that she can't get because she has to take care of my daughter now. That's why the grandmother told me to come get her, because she physically and financially cannot take care of my daughter. She gets SSI every month and foodstamps. He left her over 3 months ago and hasn't provided anything for her.
I wonder if that would be considered child abandonment? I called and found out the CPS caseworkers info. I talked to her, and thats when she told me that he said he had full custody of her.. thats why they never called me.
The courts don't know he moved or changed his number, he didn't inform them, I was told by them that they cannot even serve him with any warning papers because they don't have his address.
I also thought about this.. I do get her for summer vacation.. and in the court order it says he has to pick her up.. but he can't if the grandmother isn't there. If she doesn't show up, then I would be going against CPS. Also, how would I return her to him, if he has never given me an address?
I mean, he left me when I was pregnant bc his drugs were more important.
The only reason he EVER wanted to be apart of her life was bc his ex wife pushed him to.
I tried to get him involved and he never would.
The last time I saw her we were laying in bed watching TV and she looked over and put her hand on my cheek.. I looked at her and she asked me in such a quiet voice if I loved her and I said "Of course I love you". Then she asked "Why doesn't my daddy?" I told her that he did and She looked down and said My daddy doesn't want me, and then looked up at me and asked me if I did.
It was the saddest thing I have ever heard in my life and I felt like a failure, my own daughter didn't know how much I loved her. How much my heart aches without her.I feel like she was ripped away from me and her brother and sister. The worst part is, I made a promise to her the last time I saw her when they picked her up from my apartment, that I would come pick her up and we would go see her Uncle and ride the ponies. And then they moved. I am absolutely heart broken because I broke my promise and I am so scared she feels like I don't want her or abandoned her. Not being able to see or even speak to your child is the worst feeling in the world.
I decided..
I cannot sit back and do nothing.
I made a promise to God, my daughter, and myself that I would do my best to raise her.. And thats what I intend to do.
I feel this is something I have to do.
Whether I go to jail or not.. My baby needs me and what kind of a parent would I be to NOT be there? If they dont want her or cannot take care of her then I do and will.
I talked to hubby before he left for work and he said we would find a way to get a lawyer.. This is going to be hard on us financially, but this is my child. I know he hates seeing me upset.. So i have to try and be positive.
I'm going to do alot of praying.
Once again thank you preglys. I appreciate the advice and encouragement.
I have not seen my daughter in 5 months.
So even seeing her for a few seconds will be incredible.
But getting yourself an attorney is the BEST thing you can do. He/she can take control of this issue, find out who f*cked up & where, & keep you protected while you get your daughter back & protect her! I'm due in early July with my first & only child - a little girl. If my baby's father ended our relationship & found a way to take her from me, I'd lose my mind. I am so sorry you're going through this. Please keep us updated, & if you need to vent, we're here for you!