Need to vent... no judgment please

laine923

I hate being pregnant.

There. I said it. And if that makes me a bad person, than oh well. I hate being in pain... I hate sleeping like crap.... I hate mood swings.... I hate taking vitamins... I hate having a long list of things I can't do... I hate my nipples getting huge... I hate the thought of labor... And I Really Hate Getting Fat!!!

My husband and I waited 18 weeks to tell anyone we were pregnant because we wanted to be sure everything was ok. We are 22 weeks now and I wish we never would've told anyone still. Now that everyone knows, its All they want to talk about with me... How I'm feeling, if I feel baby, if I'm excited, when my shower is...

I feel like I have no identity as Myself anymore. Now everyone just sees me as a pregnant person instead of who I am beyond that... I'm pursuing a Masters degree... I work hard 6 days a week as a police officer and paramedic... I love music and movies and my dog... I'm learning sign language. But no one cares about anything but me being pregnant. Then, when I tell them I don't feel like always talking about pregnancy 24/7, they get offended and think I'm some terrible person because I'm not just overjoyed about every single aspect of pregnancy.

I'm tired of people making me feel guilty for not being as excited as they think I should be. My husband is just over the moon happy about all this and he doesn't understand why I'm not... I wish he could take over carrying this child... Lose control of his emotions, be in pain, gain weight... And then see how wonderful he thinks it is.

So... Now that that's out. Am I the only one who feels this way?? Does everyone else out there LOVE being pregnant sooo much, or is it ok that I'm nor

laine923

.. it cut me off... To finish my sentence..

Is it ok that I'm not crazy about all that comes along with pregnancy?

caroline8_p

Eh. I enjoy the baby kicks and having my bf do things half the time.. that's about it.

breewashington08

Don't feel bad for feeling that way. Its not always as fun as evrybody makes it sound. Personally I'm ready to b able to sleep comfortably an lose these crazy mood swings. Hang in ther it worth it in the end

blueberrysmom

I hear you. I haven't stated to show yet but I can only imagine how frustrating that is for you. But since you might know the answer to this... As a cop, how long can you work regular on the streets and stuff when you're pregnant? I never thought of that before. Can you go on raids and bust bad guys with a belly or do they put you on desk duty?

luvbump

I hate being pregnant... Or maybe i hate waiting 40 weeks. I am so uncomfortable. I itch everywhere from puppps, the baby is laying on my sciatic nerve and I have slept 7 hours in the past 72 hours because i cant stop tossing and turning and itching and peeing. I just want this to be over with. I want to he able to sleep again, to breathe, to poop, to have sex without the awkwardness of a huge belly..
I love my baby and just want to see her already.

lucyloo288

I don't love it all the time... thinking about it, I rarely love it. But I do love my bean! Its great when I can feel her moving. Its really cool that your still carrying on with your normal life too, tho. I don't feel like doing anything at all..!

Why did you decide to learn sign language?

LilOneOnTheWay

Don't be too hard on yourself. Everyone has different emotions and feelings about being pregnant. That certainly does not mean you're a horrible person.

I'm sure it hurts that other people are not recognizing your other ambitions (career, education, etc.). I think other people focus on "life milestones" like marriage, babies, and then that is all they can talk about. While this pregnancy is a great milestone for you, you still have an IDENTITY! Do you have friends you can talk with about things other than your pregnancy? I think that helps and may help you feel more balanced.

I understand how you feel with your body and emotions changing. It isn't always an easy ride and I'm sure you just want people to have some compassion - it's tough!

Just know you're not crazy and it's OK to not let this pregnancy consume you. In fact, I think that's healthy.

mrs_wainright

I hate that.. I want people to ask about me too! I had some major problems after I had my son cause no one asked about me just him.. and I love him to death he is my world but I would like to be asked about too lol

TishJ330

@laine923, OMG, I thought maybe I wrote that for a sec lol! If my sickness weren't so bad right now, I guess I wouldn't be so pissed, but CRAP, I'm sick of puking!!! I get pissed that my hubby isn't barfing his guts up every 5 minutes like I am! I hate feeling this way. And the pain & sleepless nights are not helping matters. No hun, you are far from a bad person, but if you are, count me in too!

laine923

@blueberrysmom... I'm not really showing yet, either. I'm at that awkward stage where I don't have a real noticeable bump, but I do look like I've packed on a few pounds. People who don't Know I'm pregnant don't generally think I am, so that's one relief for now.

I work in a small community. My Chief says I can work on the road as long as I feel comfortable... I think I'll give it another month or two for sure. As long as my vest still fits, I'm ok. I want to be as normal as I can as long as I can!!!

Everyone else who has shared your pregnancy woes... Thank you So much for helping me not feel alone!! I needed that.

blueberrysmom

They've discussed this is the supreme court. Fascinating!

http://www.policechiefmagazine.org/magazine/index.cfm?fuseaction=display&article_id=832&issue_id=32006

Jess8D7

I feel the same way. I refused to let my friends see me pregnant and I would cover up. I hated how my mom would beg for photos of my belly. I hate not doing my job in the army... plus im high risk and feel useless!!!! Plus im recovering from an eating disorder from over five years and wham! Im prego.... I hate the weight gain...
Then I think... im having a lil boy, and god sent him to me.. to open my eyes and save my life... having my lil man helped me become a better person I think.. I wasn't very nice to my hubby before we got married... I still don't feel ready to be a mom... but I got pregnant.. and slowly enjoying his movements... im almost 26 weeks.
I hope things get better hun and congrats, with getting ur masters, ur job, and learning sign language!

laine923

@Lucy_loo_288... I decided to learn sign language for a few reasons... Working in public safety, its always beneficial to be able to communicate with people in ways other than spoken English. Sign has always been interesting to me in general, and I thought it could be a nice addition to my resume. Also, I want my baby to grow up with more than one language... So she will be learning English, French, and sign from day 1. I wish I knew Spanish, but... Sign was easier to cram into 9 months.:-)

juliek77

I love being pregnant and hate it sometimes too. I love getting a big belly so I don't have to constantly suck in my stomach LOL. I love feeling my baby move. I LOVE pregnancy sex! I hate that I can't take at least 3 medications I was on before for intense foot/nerve pain and that I can barely walk some days. I hate that I already suffered from insomnia and restless legs syndrome and can't take anything for that either while it is getting worse. I hate that I won't be able to tie my own shoes or wash my own feet in a couple months. Don't feel bad, everyone is different. I do also want to say congrats on all YOUR accomplisments but from here on out, those will probably come last to most people. You are someones wife, someones mom and not @laine923 anymore to them. When my husband was in the Marines, even when the guys in his shop knew my name, they still called me Kohler's wife. HELLO I have a name damnit!

[Deleted User]

The user and all related content has been deleted.

laine923

@liloneontheway.. thanks!! Everything you said is very thoughtful and kind. I do have friends that I share interests with... But whether they mean to or not, my pregnancy always ends up being the topic. I know they're just excited.. but I wish they would calm down about it!!! :-)

@jess8d7... I'm soo glad I'm not the only one!! I Hate when people ask to see my belly!! And if they want to touch it, that's even worse. I don't feel all beautiful like everyone thinks I'm supposed to. I'm sorry you can't do your job in the military... I can appreciate how frustrating that must be. Why are you high risk? Thanks for the Congrats!!

Jess8D7

@laine923 I was born with a bicornuate uterus .... it's heart shaped... so not a lot of room for baby... so thanks mom!

laine923

@mommy_of_two... No need to apologize!! Vent away. I needed to, too, and I'm glad this has opened discussion for other moms to be to share their fears and frustrations. I hope everything goes well with the remainder of your pregnancy, and your spotting stops. I haven't had any spotting, but my best friend spots every week and her doc says she's fine. I hope you are, too. How far along are you?

lucky7

I feel same way.I loved being pregnant with my 1st 3kids but the 4th and this one im so miserable.I can't even enjoy the baby moving.everythime the baby moves it hurts in 28wks and I can't take it anymore.

laine923

@Julie77.. I hope I feel like you do someday soon. The only thing worse than hating being pregnant is knowing I have 4 months to go, like it or not!! I'm just waiting for that magical day when I wake up and have a sex drive and feel attractive and maternal. What's your secret?

lilbabythree

@laine923 ur not alone. I hate being pregnant. I have with every one of my pregnancies. it is a loss of idenity and a complete loss of control of ur body. I was in public safety for the last 2 babies. I applied for my master degree but have to put it on hold because I'm due in august. So that will be next year. I hate being asked all the pregnancy questions and I hate that everyone thinks u should be happy about being in pain, emitional, swollen body parts, sleepless nights, and in general people not giving a crap about u as a person but more about ur belly.
Hang in there. I tell myself everyday that it can't last forever and I'm one day closer to it being over.

VictoriaB

I'm not loving it too much either. In fact, I'm getting my tubes tied as soon as I can after Achilles is born. I love feeling him kick and squirm (except when he kicks my bladder or my pelvis).

I'm super excited for him to be here in a few months but I'm not excited about getting out of the car on the little hill where our spot is or walking up the two flights of stairs to my apartment when I'm 8 and 9 months preggo. I can't see my feet or my vagina anymore and simple things like bending over or getting up totally suck now. I pee constantly and last night I peed myself a little when I sneezed. Not to mention I'm 23 weeks and I've gained like 40 pounds already I was pretty trim before but now I weigh more than I ever have in my life. That's pretty depressing.

laine923

@lilbabythree... Thanks!! It feels soo good to know feeling this way about pregnancy doesn't make me a bad mom. This is my first... I can't imagine doing this 2 more times knowing how much I hate this time!! You are doing it a third time and that gives me hope for survival.:-) I hope you get to finish your masters soon enough. Good luck to you!

laine923

@blueberrysmom... Very interesting article! Thanks for sharing.

[Deleted User]

Ummmm...i wouldnt say "hate" as in I wouldnt do it again, but it does get annoying at times. But for the most part I'm extra excited.

But everyone is different....I'm sure itll all seem so irrelevant when we hold our children for the first time.

Dnt let ppl get to you.

[Deleted User]

The user and all related content has been deleted.

juliek77

@laine923, I suppose my husband makes me feel sexy and attractive and that helps. I think it is the hormones and my brain and body that make the sex that much better for me when I am pregnant. Maybe TMI, but I wake up just wanting it/him LOL. Feeling maternal just might not hit you until you hold your baby. It is still a foreign little alien in your uterus right now. This is my 3rd pregnancy so I guess I feel maternal because I have a 6 1/2 and almost 5 year old. I am 18 weeks and I still can't believe I am pregnant now. We tried for this one for 3 1/2 years and it still feels strange to me.

In the beginning of this pregnancy, it was awful for me. We moved from San Diego to Phoenix because my husband got transferred with his job. We had bought a new house weeks before but it wouldn't be done for a couple weeks after my husband had to start the job here. I found out I was pregnant the day we got here. We had to stay in an awful hotel/motel room for 2 1/2 weeks (while we waited for our home to be done and to close escrow) that smelled like smoke (even though it was non smoking HA) and it made me sick, my eyes burn and just completely depressed. I wanted to go to sleep and not wake up for months. But I had to get up and take care of myself and my kids and just deal. It was all those new pregnancy hormones and at that point, I questioned getting pregnant again.

Try to find things that make you feel good about being pregnant. Get dressed up and be sexy. When people start asking about the baby give them small details and then tell them about stuff YOU are doing, YOUR job, YOUR degree, learning ASL. If someone asks to see your belly and you dont want to show them, ask to see theirs. If someone touches your belly and you don't want them to, put your hand on their belly (hilarious if they aren't pregnant LOL). Just try to make the best of it even though it is hard. You may just be a woman that doesn't like much about being pregnant and that is totally fine cause this ISN'T easy or fun most of the time.

laine923

@mommy_of_two... I'm glad you bumped into this thread, too. In fact, I'm glad so many people did and not one person has said I should feel differently or whatever. It's such a refreshing change to be able to vent for once and not be judged!!

laine923

@Juliek77... My husband tells me that the more pregnant I get, the more beautiful I am to him. I know he means it, too.. he really tries to get me to feel as giddy as he does but I just can't seem to. I'm scared that the way I'm feeling now won't go away once we have Addie.... But deep down I don't think that'll be the case. Your advice is very much appreciated though!! You're sweet, and its good to know that even after having 2 other kids, you still had your doubts. I don't feel quite so abnormal now. I can't imagine finding out I was pregnant in the middle of a big move like that... Kudos for being strong!

[Deleted User]

The user and all related content has been deleted.