ok so I wrote a post on, and was hoping for decent answeres and then I actually read what I posted, and decided its not a good idea, thanx to those who posted in help..
personally, I would be hurt n pissed if I was his gf n u guys did that behind my back. she should have a say so bc they been on n off for seven yrs. but it is nice of him for wanting to help u in ur situation. good luck with everything.
There are many out comes with this though, since he doesn't see his other kids he may get to the point of being uncle not being enough. And I would still consider taking his girl friends feelings into consideration, selflessly put your self in her position, regardless how there relationship stands, would you have a problem with it if you were in her shoes? There are many things to consider wtth this. It's good you found someone you know that your close with but eventually your baby will want to know who his daddy is. It also sounds like you two have unfinished business, so to speak, your both always open to each other and with you getting ready to go through a divorce you may just want to play things out a little longer. I mean what if yoi and him would end up back together? Then you could skip this whole thing. But it seems like you could over pile your plate hun, with a divorce, the issue with his gf about the situation, plus preparing for a baby and it would go on. Just try not to over whelm yourself. Good luck
The fact that you said " the man I should be married to " tells me no because there has to be something that attracts you to him & to bring a child into the world with a man in a long term relationship especially behind the girlfriends back SCREAMS disaster..in my opinion..I OBVIOUSLY could be wrong but I strongly believe its a bad idea . . & to not have any explanation of who the babys father is when he or she asks will only cause problems for the child & make them wonder more . . I know id be upset if my mother or someone "accidentally" or purposly came out and told me my uncle was really my father especially at her for not giving me the opportunity to have a reaal father. I feel like that's a very hard & huge secret to keep . . But I wish you luck with any choice you make
thankyou @mscheyla that makes me feel better, if he were to leave her, i would take him in a heart beat, but he would have to leave her and get a divorce, from a previous relationship, plus my divorce, he sees his kids, every now and again, and frankly if the child were to ask me who his/her father is i would have no problem telling him/her. and i know deep down in my heart that when the baby would be born, he would change his mind, and want to be know as daddy, but this option just seems better than missing my window of oppertunity, or no knowing who the father is period...ya know
she cant and doesnt want any more children, she has 2 already... we have had a very weird relationship for 8 yrs, hes been on and off with her, on and off with me, ( the occasional night here and there when we were both lonely) hes gotten married, while seperated from her, and ive gotten married too. when i asked him about this, i was in all honsty just being sarcastic, i asked 2 days ago, today i get a txt saying... i will. and i was like i will what, so he called, and laied down the ground rules, and left it at that, im still in complete shock and awe about this myself. i would like for her to know, just because i know if it was me i would be pissed and hurt, more or less betraied..
@beautifulnightmare yeah, that is the benefit that you would know the father plus you know his health history which can be missed in random sperm donors
I say go for it! If they are on & off what's to say she'll be around in a week. Is she even really his gf or just someone there? If she is just someone there then well they dont need to b together in the first place. I love my husband, & I'm sorry yours is an jerk, but if something happened to hubby & I, that would in NO WAY stop me from ttc I love my hubby & I know he loves me & I am stocked to have a baby w/the man I love, but that doesn't change the fact that I want a baby more than anything!!! Maybe this is a sign from God, he does work in mysterious ways!
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