baby daddy calls after 35 wks of pegnancy

luvmyson

So I gotta call from the babies father today after I've already been preggo for 35 wks and he's just now callin to see how things are and if he can help....I'm so upset bc I got back into a realtionship with my first sons father and he's been the one takin care of me bc I don't have a job right now....so I'm scared its gonna cause problems bt me and him. I know my first sons father will b there for me but if daddy # 2 wants to b in his sons life how do I get him to deal with all this....I'm pissed bc he waited until now to try to b a dad but I guess its better late then never....I just want everyone to get along for my sons sake but I don't think daddy #1 is gonna b able to deal with daddy #2? I need advice ladies...anybody have a similar situation?

Bebita86

maybe if you talk to daddy 1 and just ask him how he would feel if daddy 2 was semi-involved.. you cant just let daddy 2 do wutever he wants because a real dad sticks around and since he wasnt around all that time going by his reputation who's to say he'll stick around for good.. and since daddy 1 has been there for u well then the respect goes to him and he should have a say too

Viviya

I am currently with my husband who is the father of my son and daughter. He asked me to end our separation and come home after I broke the news to him that I was 13 weeks pregnant. While I wish I could take my choice back and be with BD instead, I do have a little bit of advice I can contribute for your situation. We have had arguments about BD's involvement and pretty much came to the agreement that, as long as BD is being civilized and trying to help out in the care of his child that he should be able to have the opportunity to be a part of his child's life. My husband was dealing with contacting him and updating him on the pregnancy for a while, but he couldn't stand doing it, so now I keep him updated personally as well as through his sister who is a friend of mine. The plan in the hospital is to allow both of them to be in the room for the birth because neither of them wants to be kicked out of the room (though I'm kicking my husband out if drama starts because he's seen his children being born and I feel that BD is top priority in that situation), though we still haven't gotten too deep in the details. After baby is born I plan on nursing, but I'm going to also work on pumping because BD wants to be able to have his son come and visit him and the three of us are still trying to figure out how visitation is going to work for the first few months and up. The best thing I can suggest is to try your best to be open with BD1 and let him know what you want for your child. Be willing to make compromises (as long as they don't seriously interfere with BD2 being involved with his child) and be firm where you have to be. Pick and choose your battles, agree to disagree, and be at least a little flexible so that he can be at least a little comfortable with the situation. He got back into a relationship with you knowing that you were having someone else's child, he should have thought about the possibility that this man would want to be a part of his child's life just as he is a part of his child's life.

mandac10

Sounds like my daughters dad. Keep number 2 away. He couldn't help u this whole time but now when the baby is coming in a month he wants to help... whatever don't talk to him

luvmyson

@ viviya wow very helpful advice ....I don't know if I want either of them in the delivery room ...I might just do it by myself bc for the first 6 mnths it was just me so I want that bond with my son...I guess I'm just worried bd #2 is gonna come in and overstep his boundries...
@mandac10 I kinda feel like. I just wanna cuss him out and never speak to him again, but I also don't wanna explain to my son I later yrs that his dad tried to get intouch with us but I ignored him....I think he has the right to at least know who is biological father is.
@bebita86 I wanna talk to him tonight but I know he's gonna get aggrivated easily when it comes to this topic....

Bebita86

he's going to get aggravated but eventually u guys have to talk about it.. can't do it behind his back cus what if he kicks u to the curb

mrs_shu

If 1 is a good dad then that's probably where animosity is cominf from combined with fear you'll be a fool and get back with 2 after all 1 has done. Explain to him that while you're not excusing 2s actions(or lsck of!), how would 1 have felt if you prevented him being a part of your childs life? Take what @vivaya is doing/said into consideration and maybe reassure 1 that you will not be allowing 2 to just pop back in and out(not to mention not supporting child)

Good luck

luvmyson

Thanks ladies...I'm praying all works out ok....i think my biggest concern right now is how they will act at the hospital