need advice / step child.

mommee2bee

My fiance has a 6 year old daughter from a previous relationship. She has been very receptive of me. Even insisting on calling me mom, which we sorta deterred her away from in the beginning.(she was doing it right away after meeting me) well now obviously we are getting married and expectkng one of our own. Since the pregnancy, she's been completely ignoring of me, openly pushing me away from her father. She continues to pray for a baby sibling, and shows excitement towards having one, and even understands that the baby is coming from me and is her fathers... but the way she is treating me is ridiculous. She never does it in front of her father, which shows she knows that what she's doing is wrong. I try to talk to her father about it and he says he will help take care of it but its hard for him to because he never sees it himself. When we are all together, she is severely clingy towards him and wont let me near him. She doesn't listen to a word I say, and doesn't even speak directly towards me. She will go out of her way to ask her dad something when I'm right there in front of her. He says she's 6 and that I have to learn to deal with it, but I don't think that's fair to me . What do you guys think? Am I being way too hormonal, or does something need to be done stat?!

2girls_2boys

It's a partime step daughter or full time

[Deleted User]

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mommee2bee

@nena18_labori she's full time. her mother gets her 6 days out of the whole month. Dad has full custody of her. The thing is, before the pregnancy, everything was going great. Dad works and i was a "stay at home mom" so i had her all the time. she listened to me all the time we had no issues. Now, with the pregnancy, it's a complete 180 and she's driving me insane. She hurts my feelings all the time and it doesnt help that im hormonal too. not only that but i feel like my fiance is always picking her side and telling me to deal with it because im the adult....he's usually so sweet but that girl has him wrapped around his little finger.

MyLittleLove

just writing to say that I sympathize with u because I feel my situation will soon become what youre facing. I haven't found anyway to deal/handle it as of yet so im hoping someone responds to u with some good advice.

SurpriseBaby

Maybe she is getting kind of jealous that shes not going to be her daddy's baby anymore, so shes taking it out on you (even if she says she is excited for the new baby). If you guys haven't changed anything recently such as punishments or permissions (that's when I started acting out towards my step-mom) then I would think maybe that's the case?

mommee2bee

Thats what i try telling her father too, is that i feel like she's jealous that there's another child coming into the picture. not only that, but that child will have his/her full family together.. where as she has a broken family that she still has to go back and forth between... i know whatever is going through her head is tough for her, but im having a tough time with it too! and the raging hormones are not helping! I try to reason with her, and treat her with respect but she's just horrid towards me right now. i keep trying to tell her father that she's feeling something towards me or the baby, and he keeps saying "no, she's excited about the baby..." which im sure she is to a certain extent... im only waiting for the day when the baby is here, and she has to go to her mothers, where as the baby gets to stay with us... oh lord... I wish i knew how to handle it.. or how my fiance could handle it... we've tried everything... she's just getting beyond the with the words at this point.. because she just wont listen..

SurpriseBaby

I'm sorry. I can't imagine how hard it must be, I know I gave my step-mom a run for her money for a few years but I was 16 and evil lol. I hope she comes around, just stay strong and make sure you both let her know that you guys love her and don't give up. I hope somebody can give you better advice. Good luck!

letysfirst

My bd/bf has a 9yr old n at first was really quiet w me almost ignoring me, I told his father once n I told him I was gonna do my part but there wad only so much I could do, so my bd got on his butt n now we are good friends

mommee2bee

Thank you even the words of encouragement is amazing at this point..

mommee2bee

lol @letysfirst . it's like things went backwards for me. we used to get along so great and now with the baby, things just took a turn. thats exactly what i told my fiance today, that i could only do so much, but im not going to grovel to her if she's going to be rude to me. im still human! he needs to step it up and do what needs to be done!

letysfirst

@mommee2bee yes ur man needs to put his foot down n talk to his daughter, I mean there wouldnt b a reason for u to.lie to him n he should know a 6yr old will act like a 6yr old (they tell stories n sometimes mean little ppl) lol

mommee2bee

yes and he says that he will. he doensnt want it to be a one time conversation, he wants to develope it over a period of time so that she really gets it (this is what he told me after i threw the bottle of bubble bath across the room with my phone..geez hormones... -__-) which i hope he knows what hes talking about.. because i dont know how much more i can take.. clearly, i had a melt down today..

Proudmommy8789

She jealous, maybe you should do a girls day with her, I know shes 6. So go get manis and pedis. And maybe out for icecream and tell her how much you love and care about her. And try explaining that the baby will get a little more attention until its old enough and that she can help with feedings and bath time

mommee2bee

Already done it. Seriously..been there done that. while we do that, things are really good and she's angelic (basically, she's getting what she wants) and then it just goes right back to normal.. I'm looking for long term results.. and have no idea where to get them from...

Proudmommy8789

Um how about a spanking? have you tried talking to her mom to see if she acts like that when shes over there?

mommee2bee

She got a nice round of spanking from dad this afternoon. her mom and her dad aren't really on good speaking terms so parenting is done completely seperate of eachother....

LilOneOnTheWay

You may think she is angry at you, but did you ever think she is upset with her dad due to broken home, jealousy, feeling confused in a new situation? She may just be more comfortable directing that anger at you because she is too young to know who she is really mad at? You have done all you can so now he must step in and talk with her... it seems to me her anger is misplaced.

mommee2bee

Wow thank you! I never thought of it like that... that could potentially be true. It was one of the ideas I brought up with dad but he really doesn't think that's it. That's daddys little girl right there and he's just blind sided... I just know that once the baby is here, this situation has the potential to get worse. With the baby having a out together home, and always being with us as a family, and she will have to go bacl and forth to her moms.. leaving is behind. I just want to fix it before the baby gets here...