any single mamas gonna try to co-parent with BD

Newmommy_11

BD and I were together when I found I was pregnant. He was very excited. I am excited to be a mommy but I didn't see spending my life with him so we broke up. He was hurt but still says he wants to be involved in her life. I haven't really heard from him but still want to try and work with him so he can be in our daughters life. I was wondering what other single moms are doing as far as custody of your newborn. Visits and overnights and such.

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preggointx

I seriously wanted to but he has proven to be a jerk and untrustworthy I even asked him to have his sister call me because she is way more trustworthy than him...I'm still waiting on that call I'm just going to do it alone...but with child support in his life

Newmommy_11

@KerrideeRN Me too. I'm not good at sharing but I know I need to work it out for her sake. He isn't exactly stepping up right now and isn't talking to me. He is focusing on the ended relationship and his feelings and not his daughter.

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brttnywstn14

I'm kinda in the same situation as you...but me n bd are doing better n might get back together. Honestly I've been wondering the same as you. My bd is VERY protective of me already so I know when the baby gets here he is gonna want to be around more. But I say if ur bd wants to be in ur baby's life let him!! Think bout all those babies who never know their dad I'm sure u two will figure out what arrangements work best for the both of you....talk to him about it

Newmommy_11

@brttnywstn14 I am going to allow him to be in her life my mom never kept me from my dad and I don't intend to do it to my daughter. It is just difficult. I try to reach out to him so we can get together and talk and try and figure things out. However he keeps putting it off. In the meantime my due date keeps getting closer and I am the only one bearing the financial burden.

salsabia

Im in same situation except Avas dad lives 5 hours away. He came to see her after she was born and hasn't been back since. She was born 5 weeks ago. Keeps saying im coming next week then next week.... im not going to beg him to be part of our lives. I had rather meet someone that im really interested in that will love and care for us both. I have no idea how to share a baby w someone 5 hours away.

Newmommy_11

@salsabia first congrats on your daughter. It must be tough to try to figure out a plan with him 5 hours away. I'm finding it tough to figure something out with my bd 20 minutes away. Like you I'm not gonna beg. I've tried to reach out to him so we could start working on an arrangement since Ella is due in September but he isn't cooperating so for now I've given up and will just wait to see how he will act when she is born.

expectingmy2nd

I'm not with my first childs dad but he is actively involved in her life. He gets her over night every Monday and Thursday and has her every 2nd & 4th weekend returning her at 6pm on Sunday. He gets her overnight on Holidays (Christmas Eve, New Years Eve & Thanksgiving) every other year and he also gets her for one week uninterrupted during the summer.

My finance and I are having problems and definitely won't be getting married or living together by the time our baby is born in October and we are not allowed to co-habitate when I have my daughter so I'm not sure what kind of arrangement we will work out. I'm nervous about him having overnight visits right away. My first childs father didn't start having overnight visits until she was a year old but then we weren't together when she was born and he didn't start getting involved in her life until she was almost four months old so the situations are completely different. Hopefully my finance and I will be able to work something out.

ready4gurl

Well with my first we had child support set between us and he had overnight whenever he wasn't working, Well now its still that way except we don't do child support we just make it equal when he has him his pays for everything he needs and same for me. I honestly don't know what will happen with the baby. I know I will go for court child support but as for him seeing the baby that's all up to him.

blueeyes1246

If its not working out just file for residential custody..this means that he still has his rights but you have more...your daughter would live with you and you choose visitation and ect...its hard but atleast your daughter will still have her daddy

Ali_in_OK

Does the father get overnight visitation if your nursing?

Newmommy_11

@Ali_in_OK I am also wondering the same thing. I think I'm going to go to a lawyer and see what exactly mine and his rights are. I know he has rights but I just don't feel comfortable with him having her overnight right away.

Mommie_McAtee

this discussion is helping me! lord knows how to make a way. I'm going through this and you ladies have definitely helped with some decisions! he puts people and things in our lives so that we won't feel alone like there's no one there. I'm thankful for this discussion hope it continues! now I know what custody to look into. women are such powerful beings. we just have to realize

Jaime77

So far I have a good relationship with my son's dad. We have no problem coparenting together. he lives with roomates and is nervous with newborns but with time i'm going to let him have the baby whenever he wants. We both work same shift but different days off. It hopefully will continue to stay friendly. I can totally understand not coparenting when a father does nothing for the child.

Newmommy_11

@Jaime77 Did you go to court to work out an arrangement or did you guys just figure it out yourselves? I am really trying to work with bd but it he is making it hard but just focusing on the ended relationship and not on our daughter.

Newmommy_11

Just a bump in case other single moms have some input

Jaime77

I'm big on not having to go to court. So fsr my ex husband and I are raising our 2 together very civil. This baby's dad and I had a brief relationship after being friends for awhile. So far we agree on things mutually. I don't think we will ever get to the point of going to court. I just need a will ect.. Jic. Good luck hun, he's prob. Just heart broken ur not together.