...telling a parent about baby?!?!
I'm in my 28th week of pregnancy and still haven't told my biological father about my pregnancy, for many reasons. He and I have never really been on the best of terms and haven't played an active role in each others' lives. The last time I saw/talked to him was the day that I sat in a court room beside him and listened as he made up horrific lies about me, in response to my filing a DVP against him...(that's a long story, for another day) He absolutely crushed me when he said some of the things he said and I had a really hard time forgiving him...to this day, he still makes me out to be a terrible person. Some of my family thinks that, if nothing else, I should at least TELL him that I'm pregnant; that it's a matter of respect. Part of me agrees that I should at least tell him but the other part of me just simply doesn't care; I don't want him in the baby's life, anyway...
I know, it seems pretty petty to even waste my time posting this, but I'm really not sure what to do or HOW to tell him, if that's what I decide to do. I haven't talked to the man in over a year and would only know to contact him via Facebook. Any suggestions??
I know, it seems pretty petty to even waste my time posting this, but I'm really not sure what to do or HOW to tell him, if that's what I decide to do. I haven't talked to the man in over a year and would only know to contact him via Facebook. Any suggestions??
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He wasn't the best father and could never match up to the man my stepfather is. My last straw was when I came to town case my grandmother was going into surgery for cancer and he shows up to the hospital high off weed and sherm.. and had his wife and mistress both in the room. I had to explain to my 19 yr old why her grandfather was acting/tweeking and why these chics had attitudes.
That's where I drew the line. These chics were pissed at me like I knew.. Ibsen heard my dad was dibble and dabbling with drugs but out of my 37 yrs he never showed a sign to me.
That was it for me.. my life had no room for chaos like this.
Now! I know its time to make amends so I can be who again.
In order for me to let go of hang UPS in my life that relate to him... I gotta forgive him for SEVERAL let downs that weren't mentioned so I can move on and be 100% happy.
I still wanna know what DVP is... lol
Currently, my father is married to a woman who is just about 6 years older than myself and I suppose that's where the drama in his life is created...it's like they have nothing better to do than to worry about MY life. He's told people that I'm a high school drop-out, that I'm on drugs...blah blah blah. None of this is true, of course. I graduated high school ahead of my class, worked a full time job and was taking care of myself. If he would be man enough to come and talk to me, he would know these things about me...
Part of me feels that he at least deserves to know that I'm having a baby but there's that small part of me that doesn't think he even deserves to breathe. I'm trying to be the bigger person and let him know that I'm over it, but I don't forgive him...There are still a ton of things that he's done in the past that I struggle to forgive him for, but I have to close that chapter of my life, so that I can be a successful part of society, a good wife and an even better mother, I can't keep letting him get to me; I can't keep avoiding him...and I know that. My fear, however, is the torture that he would put my family through, given the opportunity...he doesn't care who he hurts, emotionally...and I don't want to cause stress on my new family. He's a human being and he deserves to know the truth, but the question is...is something like this an exception to that??
The DVP has been expired for a few months now, I just haven't wasted my time trying to deal with his immaturity. I'm over what he did and what he said...it doesn't even matter anymore...*ugh* I hate this...
My aunt is willing to tell him so that I can avoid the process...it's just a matter of deciding whether or not I want him to know, at all...I agree, I'm not sure that I should have respect for someone who didn't respect me, but I'm trying, so hard to be the bigger person; even if I'd really rather just drop-kick him to mars...
I really appreciate all of the suggestions!
This destroyed my friendship, my living arrangement and created havic in my life... I knew he had did it, but that was my dad and I didn't want to throw him under the bus... but I went through Hell not doing it.
He's done many selfish things and put me in several bad situations.
My father who raised me since I was 7 is financially stable, an awesome father to me, and he's a psychologist.. very well known Dr in the community.
My biological father is a pimp and a con-artist... not to mention a hoodlum, womenizer and a drug head... my life has no room for this madness.
I'm not sure why you feel you owe him anything or he has the right to know. You have to earn that type of respect and its clear he hasn't.
Your first and foremost concentration should be on your husband and child. Becareful ... he can destroy things for you again.
You can't pick your family and your not obligated to keeping relationships of those that are worthy of your time.