In this alone...

EiralynnesMommy

Apparently I'm in this alone.

I gave birth to my 9lb, 10oz daughter vaginally about a week ago. I had quite a bit of tearing and had multiple stitches. Yesterday I started bleeding heavily and was advised by obgyn that I need to do less walking around, as it is causing too much bleeding. I'm on mat leave currently. My husband works an 8 to 5 shift Mon -Fri.

I stay up with my daughter all night, every night and get maybe 4 hours of sleep a night. So, I figured since it was the weekend he'd get up with her at least this morning so I could sleep. Instead I got up at 4am, fed, diapered, and rocked her to sleep. She woke up 15 minutes later wanting to eat again so I ask him to give her a bottle. He proceeds to tell Me That I need to do it, because I "sleep" all day. Really? 4 hours Is not "sleeping" all day! So I'm back up with her, and am feeling like I'm taking care of this baby alone

bummy87

I do it with 3 it gets easier to get up, I do 1-t times for 3yo n few times for 3wk old n on rare occassion for 1yo dunno y he,so good me. just dont get if my husbsnd says he has to work. well me to but aparently thay doesn't count. Still bleeding to, yours should start settling soon though oh flat battery, anyway ur mot alone welcome to the band of strong women u can do it congrats on ur bundle of joy xx

rckprincess2

I don't have any children yet but I'm 28wks prego. My dh said he won't wait up cause he has to work. I've already informed him that if he tries to pull that I will push him outa bed. If I can't get any sleep, he's not going to either! This baby was made together and he can surely help take care of her together.

rckprincess2

@praying4our3d I don't mean like every night because ill be bf. But in her situation, a month or so down the road, or wkends he will def be stepping up whether he likes it or not.

momof22be

Eeeefffff that my husband always always got the bottles for me but this time I'm going for breast feeding so I might change his duty to diapers good luck hun

sands3

My husband NEVER got up with my son! Well, the first 2 weeks he had leave so he changed diapers while I got ready to breastfed...but that was it. I used to hold the monitor right at his ear but he'd never wake up. Oh well...

EiralynnesMommy

I feel that staying home with a newborn is a full time job, just like his is. We both made this child, and I don't see how him thinking he should get a free pass on weekends is "fair" as he calls it. I get NO time off, apparently including weekends.

I'm trying to heal, and figured he'd try to be more understanding. I guess not, but him telling me I just "sleep" all the time doesn't fly with me.

It's not like I sit and watch TV all day. I think we can all agree that babies and children require your attention, and many times it is a job in and of itself.

rckprincess2

Exactly, I think they underestimate how hard it really is because they normally don't experience how much is required. not To say their jobs aren't hard but for the most part are able to eat, sleep, and shower without much worry as opposed to sahm or new moms even.

Janet_2011

Wow he sucks.. when my first baby was born , i was with her most of the nights since i am a stay at home mom and my husband had to wake up at 6 am to go to work, but when it was his day off he used to wake up in the night to stay with the baby. i used to sleep while the baby slept on the day and i wasnt really tired on the days that i had to do the things alone.. my husband is a retard but he knows better than that.

mom2be

Ive told my hubby that during the week bc he works and has to wake rather early I would handle the baby BUT come the weekend I would expect him to be all in on baby duty. Its only fair-I didnt make the baby alone so I wont care for the baby alone. When I told him this he asked "so when will I get to rest". My response "when u can carry a baby for 9 months in your belly". hahahah But in all seriousness you should have a very serious conversation with hubby about baby duty.

Math_Mommy

Oh honey, trust me the first few weeks are the hardest. It will get easier. Over the next few weeks your baby will start sleeping longer periods, and you'll be able to sleep better. For now, just try to at least rest (if not sleep) whenever your baby does. Seriously ignore all the housework, and make your only priority taking care of you and the baby. Idk about your situation, but if you have family/friends nearby ask for help/take it when its offered. None of this is to say that your hubby shouldn't be helping with the occasional weekday4:00 am bottle/changing, and extensivly helping on the weekend...he should be!

EiralynnesMommy

Yeah, we will be having a talk. Don't get me wrong, I love my daughter and love taking care of her. I just want a little assistance. I'm still learning too, and it would be easier if he at least acknowledged the amount of work I do.

nmartinez79

Well its his child too it doesn't matter if he works or not. Did u not carry the child for 9 months and completely tore up your vag to give him a child? Sorry it just irritates me when people say that because the dad works he doesn't have to participate in raising children. I'm sorry an 8-5 is a hell of a lot easier than a stay at home mom, especially a newborn. Its physically and emotionally draining. You should sit down and have a talk with him. At least ask for his support while u r recovering from the delivery and lack of sleep. In a few weeks you'll find your grove and find a way to make it work. But for now especially if this is your first, its a huge adjustment and u need all the help and support u can get ( especially from your hubby ) good luck and hope u feel better.