ugh mil! [long] *update*
I had my baby girl 6/6. Everything with MIL started then actually. I went into labor Saturday night but got sent home from L&D for not progressing & only being in early labor. Well Sunday morning we ended up back in L&D & were there for 6&1/2 hours before they finally admitted me. Our plan to begin with was to have hubby, my mom & my sister in the room when I delivered because they were going to be there with me all through labor. Well DH texted his family at 530am when my water broke & his mom comes rushing to the hospital & barges into my room, without knocking-in the middle of a cervical check, & says "am I too late?". So then my nurse, bless her heart, asks who's going to be in the room for the delivery because I could only have 3 people. At this point I was just ready to kick everyone but DH out. But his mom automatically decided that her&my mom should be in there, even though I had clearly stated to her the whole 9 months that my sister would be there. 
My poor sister got so upset & left the hospital in tears. His mom stood in the corner the whole time & then would not shut up so I could hear what they were saying about baby. Now I didn't want her there but I felt it wasn't my place to tell her to leave, I know if DH had told my mother to leave I'd be pissed. But he didn't say anything to her either & it upset me, but I really just wanted the baby out &healthy.
Well fast forward to now, baby girl is 12 days old & MIL is at it again. There's a whole list of stuff we're not allowed to do. I'm breastfeeding, but due to damaged/cracked/bleeding nipples&a broken pump, we've been doing our fair share of supplementing, which makes me a horrible mother because its not good for her. Oh&apparently I don't feed my child enough because she woke up to eat again an hour after she ate 2 oz, so now I hav to put cereal in her bottles because she's not eating enough&I'm starving her. We also shouldn't let her sleep on our chests, ever. Or let her cosleep, even though its the only way we can get her to sleep. &she's not allowed to have a binky. &we HAVE to get rid of our cat, because he's going to "steal" the babys breath or bite her.
I know I should just let her talk & nod my head, smiling. But I don't appreciate her insinuating that I'm not a good mother. Yes okay, I get that you think I'm going to be a horrible mother because I gave my first daughter up for adoption. I am essentially a FTM & I would appreciate support & helpfulness. Let me make mistakes & learn from them, because that's the only way I'll really learn to be a mom, through experience.
Ugh. Vent over.
My poor sister got so upset & left the hospital in tears. His mom stood in the corner the whole time & then would not shut up so I could hear what they were saying about baby. Now I didn't want her there but I felt it wasn't my place to tell her to leave, I know if DH had told my mother to leave I'd be pissed. But he didn't say anything to her either & it upset me, but I really just wanted the baby out &healthy.Well fast forward to now, baby girl is 12 days old & MIL is at it again. There's a whole list of stuff we're not allowed to do. I'm breastfeeding, but due to damaged/cracked/bleeding nipples&a broken pump, we've been doing our fair share of supplementing, which makes me a horrible mother because its not good for her. Oh&apparently I don't feed my child enough because she woke up to eat again an hour after she ate 2 oz, so now I hav to put cereal in her bottles because she's not eating enough&I'm starving her. We also shouldn't let her sleep on our chests, ever. Or let her cosleep, even though its the only way we can get her to sleep. &she's not allowed to have a binky. &we HAVE to get rid of our cat, because he's going to "steal" the babys breath or bite her.
I know I should just let her talk & nod my head, smiling. But I don't appreciate her insinuating that I'm not a good mother. Yes okay, I get that you think I'm going to be a horrible mother because I gave my first daughter up for adoption. I am essentially a FTM & I would appreciate support & helpfulness. Let me make mistakes & learn from them, because that's the only way I'll really learn to be a mom, through experience.
Ugh. Vent over.
Comments
@2ndbutfirst - oh I know that & even then I wouldn't put it in her bottle, she sucks WAY too fast & would choke.
@one5one - its made me a stronger person. What doesn't kill me only makes me stronger.
@angieahrns - it was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I love her with all my heart still & consider her my first child still even though a lot of people have no idea she exists. Being in the hospital with her & having her room in with me I knew immediately I wanted to try my hardest to keep her, dspite being so young. Luckily my legal gaurdians wanted to help me keep her. After going through 8th grade with a baby & not being able to do everything my friends could & seeing how hard it was waking up every 2 hours I decided that she needed someone who was ready for that stage in their life because I wasn't ready to grow up that fast. When I first talked to the agency I couldn't find any couples I liked, that I thought would be a good match for her. So I went through our church, I knew a couple only a little bit older then me, 21&24 I think, that had fertility problems & not enough money for fertility treatments or IVF. We did a private adoption & we decided on an open adoption. The day I signed over my rights & gave her to them I cried all day. I cried pretty much all day for the first week or so. I didn't want to get out of bed, I didn't want to do anything. But one day I sat in bed & I was watching a movie & I just decided that I couldn't be like this forever. That this was what's best for her, I didn't want her to have any kind of life like I did. I didn't want her to grow up struggling or watching me struggle to take care of her. I wanted her to be carefree & not have to worry about anything. I just stopped thinking about myself & started thinking about her. If you think you could handle keeping her a week & then giving her away & never seeing her again you could do closed adoption, I did an open one because I was so attached & had kept her for a year. Its kinda like she's just staying with family, that's how I think about it anyway.
@imamommysoon @blueberrysmom - haha, want her address??
@OregonMama - haha, she refuses to even watch my daughter unless we're paying her, when we're stretching money as it is.
@misskristin - Brooklynne, my baby, eats 2-4oz every 2-3hrs. I think she's getting plenty to eat. I just KNOW his mother will try everything in her power to get cereal to the baby, which is why the baby will more then likely NEVER stay with her alone. She thinks since she fed her babies cereal in a bottle at 2wks old, against dr's recommendations, that we should feed our baby the same¬hing will happen. Not to mention Brooklynne sleeps upwards of 14+ hours a day! She's not even awake that much, only when she's hungry.
@mommytuube - I have PTSD from the rape, one night I had an attack & felt like I had to tell DH. He didn't know what to do or think so he went to his mom for advice, that's how she knows about Olivia. Her first born has a severe case of Autism & she raised him by herself & she adopted & raised DH while fighting breast cancer, so therefore to her I should've kept my baby & raised her through anything. I don't pay attention to her when it comes to Olivia anymore. & yeah Brooklynne eats when she's hungry & if she eats more then her stomach can handle she spits up, I'm pretty sure I know my child more then she does considering she's only seen her twice, not including when I gave birth.
So I'm at MIL's again today because DH wanted to see her since today is our weekly visit day. Well when I'm over here I can't even hold my baby or feed her. But when Brooklynne needs a diaper change you better believe she gives her up.
Other than that apparently my baby needs a bath everyday, instead of the every couple of days our pedi advised us. &we're not supposed to listen to our pedi & lotion her up, even though we were advised not to for the first month.
Have another baby if you want to tell someone how to raise their child!