child support help (really long)
My daughter Jordyn is 5 & she hasn't had any contact w/ her dad Josh since the day before her 2nd birthday. Father's Day of 2008 he called me & said he wants absolutely nothing to do with her & she doesn't exist to him & wants to be left alone. I was obviously upset by this because Jordyn deserves to be treated much better then that. I never took him to court or filed child support papers. I contacted him 2 years ago through Myspace & first brought up the subject of him relinquishing his parental rights. He was all for it because he didn't wanna be tied to her in any way. Well for a year I waited for him to make arrangments to do this but he didn't so I took matters into my own hands & for the first time filed child support papers. His last place of residence was his mom's house & I had her address, home phone # & cell phone #. I expected he would be served quickly & we would have this settled in a few months. Every couple weeks I would call for an update but there was never any news. After 90 days I got a notice in the mail saying my case was being dropped because they couldn't find Josh. I was so pissed. I got in touch with him through Myspace and asked if he was still willing to sign over his rights & he said he was so I lied & said I had papers to send him from the courts so we could start the process. He didn't want me to know his current address so we argued for a few minutes & I said what if I give you the # for the case worker & you call her & tell her? He said ok & he called her but then she called me & the info he gave was his mom's info. He never changed it on his license. The case worker called him & he said he would make arrangments to be at his mom's when the papers were served. Well couple weeks later they came back again so I am beyond pissed at this point. I get on Myspace & check his page for any hints to where he may be & I find his gf's page. I search her name & I get her address & home #. I call & ask for Josh & sure enough he's there. I hung up the phone (I called from a pay phone) & called the case worker & said I know where he's at. By this time I'd gotten the 2nd notice that the case has been dismissed because it's been 90 days. I was then told the case wouldn't be reopened until his whereabouts were confirmed. Frustrated I emailed him & asked if he could call me so we could talk & he emailed me back instantly so I took a chance & called his mom's house & sure enough he picked up the phone. He told me he wasn't staying at his mom's but he didn't wanna give out his address. I asked if he would be willing to go to the court house & pick up the papers so we could get this straightened out & he agreed. He gave me his cell phone number & said he'd call later for details. I called my case worker & would you believe they told me they can't serve him even if he comes to the court house because they have to confirm his whereabouts first since it's been 180 days. Well at this point I'm beyond frustrated so I just stop trying. Well in March of 2010 I have a WIC appointment (my son was a week old & Jordyn just turned 5) The lady is asking me about income & child support & I tell her I'm on unpaid leave & I don't receive any state assistance or cs. 3 days after that appointment I get a call from the case worker stating I need to come to the courthouse & fill out a new packet of papers to get my case reopened. I'm thinkin ok maybe this time I have a real chance because I have his current address, cell phone # & last 2 work addresses. Not to mention I have all his personal info (ss#, license #, weight, height, pics of him & his tattoos to verify who he is) Well once again 90 days later they close the case cuz they can't find him. I've stopped pursuing this for now because I don't know where to go from here. I live in MI & since he's abandoned Jordyn for more then 2 years he's automatically lost his rights. Jordyn also has his last name & I can't change it w/o serving him paperwork first just in case he wants to contest it. Also Warren & I aren't married yet & he wants to adopt Jordyn but he can't til we've been married for a year. I want my daughter's name changed before the school year begins. She already uses my last name but in school she has to use her legal name. It got extremely confusing this last year when her teachers called her Jordyn Darin instead of Jordyn Flowers. She knows how to spell her entire name & has done so since she was 3. I know this is an extremely long post but I just wanted people to know everything I've tried already. I've spoken to legal aide & they can't help me until we actually go to court. A lawyer can't help me because they haven't been able to locate him & serve him. If anyone has any ideas on what I could do to serve him these papers I would greatly appreciate them. I really need to get this taken care of because in Michigan grandparents & other extended family have 0 rights. If anything (God forbid) happened to me Josh would get custody because he's her only living parent. I don't want to worry about her being separated from the only family she knows.
Comments
@praying4our3rd The court systems suck! I think every state should follow the same laws cuz this is crap! Why is it I can get in my car & drive to his residence & find him but the law can't? Grr! Thanks tho for the support.
The cs isn't even my main concern at this point it's the name change that I want the most. It's gonna cost me almost $400 once the process is over.
Maybe ask them what exactly id their requirements for confirmation.