Family vent!!!

ethansmommy122

So I've been w/my fiance now for about 5 years, so when we met my son was 1. Everything was perfect..he loved me, he loved my son and ever since he's been taking care of him with me b/c the dickhead of a sperm donor didn't ever want to be involved. My son calls him daddy and he is all he has ever known, and I truly am blessed to have him in my life. My family has always been hesitant about my decisions to let my son call him daddy and I understood in the beginning b/c nothing was for sure however, 5 years later they still don't really give him the recognition he deserves! (But at least they finally stopped making comments about ethan calling him daddy) It pisses me off! I would think anyone would be ecstatic for their daughter for a man like him to walk into my life and help me the way he has. We're now engaged and expecting another boy (sept. 10) and my family seems to be happy for us (finally!)!!! We went by my family on fathers day and what does my fiance get....a happy "soon to be" fathers day!!! (From EVERYONE) Hey assholes can we not be technical about the fact that he's not the biological father!!! OMG it pisses me off and I know it upsets my fiance, who wouldn't be upset by that?!?! But that's how they are and its never gonna change! Ughhh some people are soo ignorant, and I'm embarassed to say its my own family! Anyone else have this problem??

ethansmommy122

No one can relate?? I know I'm not the only one on here w/ignorant family members...oh well

one5one

I can. My dad I've been told isn't biological but I never thought it that way. But my family always let him know he was inferior.your guy is a dad!! To 2 kids!! Regardless of what others think!

ethansmommy122

@one5one Thank u!! We're planning on telling my son soon about the biological BS b/c I don't want to lie to him and have him resent either one of us! I'm also afraid that one of my family members would tell him outta spite and I will not let that happen!! How old were u when u found out? (If u don't mind me asking)

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one5one

Well no1 really said anything. My dads an American Indian and moms white. But I kinda started asking questions about 13 I think. More about the fact at they married in 8/1980. I was born 11/1980. So I never really cared or was bothered by it. No one said hey that's not your real dad. They just treated him poorly...maybe for his skin color.my moms fam is foreign & came here in 1963.finally my mom mentioned something bout real biological dad when I was 19. I told her I don't care & that's it. They've passed on now. I don't wish to find this man either. I've heard bout him but really id rather find out about his health issues or hereditary things. So I can be aware on how to keep me & my kids healthy. Maybe get info on health & genetics. Because while all.kids are different maybe your kid wont care. But having the genetic info is always helpful & important.

one5one

I say definitely tell your family to shut there mouths abiut the situation & that its up to you & your hub to discuss this when & if the times right. If they can't keep the fact that this man is your kids dad....biological or not....then they can not see your son.

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Mommyof4girls

My aunt had the same issue w the deadbeat dad thing and married an awesome man who adopted my cousin. Why doesn't he adopt him? That would solve the family being A-holes about the situation. My idiot sister told my cousin when he was 14. She's a moron I hope that doesn't happen to you. My 6 yr understands family dynamics Im sure your son does too. Good luck. I hope they stop their non sense and understand that no he's not the bio father but it takes a real man to be a daddy!

ethansmommy122

@angieahrens i know right! When i told them we're expecting they kept telling that i cant favor the baby! Are u effing kidding me?!? If anyone should be worried about anything it should be that they will favor ethan over the baby...I guess we'll see. When we moved in together my parents didn't agree b/c were not married yet..guess what I moved out anyways b/c I'm a grown ass woman and can make decisions for myself and my child!! We fought for a few months which put stress on my relationship until I finally made it clear that I choose MY family before them! They weren't allowed to come around for a while and backed off...its just the lil comments that piss me off!

ethansmommy122

@one5one I have a feeling its gonna get dramatic when baby comes!

ethansmommy122

@almost4 that's shitty that family can treat u that way! They've always had something against him for whatever reason, I mean they judge his every move...asking me if he beats my son, threatening to beat his ass if they find out he is...excuse me but I would not let any motherfucker abuse my child! Its a constant battle and they can't keep their opinions to themselves! I was living with my parents for a while so I think that's why they feel "entitled" to tell me what I should/shouldn't do with my child...but when I moved in with bd were like 45 minutes away from them (intentionally) so they can't stop over all the time! Lol I've kept my son from them once and they know I wouldn't hesitate to do it again, only problem is that it then effects my son who misses them! :/It'll be interesting to see how everything works out when baby comes!

ethansmommy122

@mommyof4girls I think he'll comprehend more than I'm giving him credit for and so long as he is always shown that we love him and are here for him I think we'll be okay, I'm still sooo nervous to have that conversation but its better sooner than later! And we do plan on making it legal with adoption, I just wanna make sure I go about everything the right way. Thank u!

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one5one

I hope its drama free & peaceful for you after birth. Noone deserves to be treated badly for doing good.

KalikoJenie

I have a messed up family, I grew up with my grandmother but I didn't know til I was twelve and my aunt told me because she was mad at my grandmother. I resented my family for not telling me sooner, but at the same time I think I was better off not knowing. I know my grandmother loved me and that is all that really mattered. I met my real mom once and let me tell you watching your mom shoot up in front of you and not caring about anyone but herself was horrible. I call my grandmother mom to this day so it doesn't matter who the sperm donor was as long as your fiance acts like a dad then he is a dad