To tell or not to tell..... (venting and really need adivce) *UPDATE 06/22*

lilbabythree

Well bd cheated and got a 17 year old prego. He cheated 2 weeks after I told him I was pregnant. I found out he cheated by his text messages. He was to drunk to make sure he had a place to stay so I used his phone to call his uncle and there was a text from a girl so I read the whole convo. He denied even knowing her. Well I talked to the other girl (she is 17) the followoing morning. Then a week later he told me she said she was pregnant and she was 17 and that she was going to turn him in bc he is on probation. This was after he said he wasnt going to talk to her. He told me because he knows that he can get in to trouble for being with her. He said he wasn't going to talk to her anymore. That was a lie and he ended up cheating again (twice) and now she is actually prego. She graduated high school this year 21 weeks prego. And just recently turned 18. She never turned him in to his probation officer because she "loves" him. I told him turn over his rights and stay out of our life. He said he would bc he doesn't want me to turn him in because he "now" is getting his life in order and he doesn't have a dime to his name and couldnt pay child support if his life depended on it. But the main reason is because he doesnt want me to turn him in because he is scared to go back to prison for f***ing with her.

Question is: Do I turn him in to his probation officer or not? He would not make a good father to either of these 2 children.

UPDATE - I called her house. She lives with Grandma. Which tells me something isnt right at home to begin with. But I explained to grandma who her is her guardian. The situiation. I kept my emotions out of it. All Grandma had to say "I will talk with her. " Grandma wanted nothing on him like PO name and number or even his number. Just "I will talk to her." So I dont think much is going to be done on that end. So next will be the phone call to the police tomorrow. I got pretty busy today. I will make that call first thing in the morning.

ScarlettsMama

Yes because what he did with her was illegal! I mean how old is this guy and what does an adult want with a 17 year old anyway, its just gross....work on getting that child support lined up too. Good luck!

lilbabythree

Well he cant be around anyone under the ago of 18 because of probation. She is considered a child in my state.

Fate

Tough call. Me personally, I wouldn't turn him in. It sounds like he is screwing up his life just fine on his own.

Fwee

Turn his ass in. Cheating pieces of shit

PEsMommY

if you know in your heart and soul that he wont be a good father, make him sign over his rights first of all. You can always use turning him in to make sure he signs. I get that dads deserve their rights, but you and your baby deserve to be happy

lilbabythree

Well I figure it dosent matter if he signs them over now or when he is sitting in jail.

menemami

I think you should just move on with your life. He's a loser and will always be a loser. Get him to sign over rights I wouldnt put his name on the birth certificate either. Its his loss not yours. My sons donor left me when I was 16 and he was 21 and I have no I'll will towards him I just feel sorry for him. I just moved on. I think anger only holds you back and takes your focus away from your baby and you.

mommy2b1111

How old is he? If he is a year or two older mayb I wouldn't ..but if theres a gap ..hell yea I would!!

lilbabythree

He is 26. She is 17.

lilbabythree

@mommy2b1111 He is 25, she is 17.

mommy2b1111

Oh disgusting eleven years..wow he is s grown as man!its up to u to turn him. In,..but he needs to definitely sign over his rights

mrs_shu

I wonder if her parents know the whole story. Its a tough call. How long would he go back to jail for?

lilbabythree

The main reason I want to call him in is because I dont want him producing more children that he cant take care of. He lied about the whole thing...like knowing her, how he knew her, what he did with her, if he used protection with her, and if he stopped talking to her. He gave her my number and she started talking to me and she told me everything. Then once she found out I was thinking about turning him in she got all cocky and stopped talking to me. But by then I already had all the info that I needed by text. Which I saved and voicemails.

lilbabythree

Well he would get a new charge and then he would get some of his probation time too. So honestly maybe a year or 2.

babynumber02

I think that's disgusting but to call the cops or not is ur choice. I would keep him as far away from my baby as possible. If he said he would sign his rights over I would call a lawyer now! Calling the cops would put him in jail and that would be really hard for your baby to hear when there older. How would you feel if ur dad went to jail when he was 26 for having sex with a child! But he should have thought about that before he did it! And he has to deal with the consequences of his actions. Both babies lives will be effected by his actions. Do what you think is right to give your baby the best possible life

Kells32

Cut your losses and move on with your life. Have him sign the papers amd get as far away as you can. He's a dirt bag and from what you've said is only going to cause problems for you. Let's be honest he's a sex offender on Parole!!! You don't want some one like that around you or your child.

mrs_shu

I'm sure he spun quite a story for her about you. I guess its better there's just 2 children so close in age than 4 or 5. I say make the call and possibly notify her parents. Maybe they can talk sense into her

[Deleted User]

If she's 18 now there's probably nothing that anyone can do

MissPrego

@lilbabythree- Honestly if I were you i would just get him to sign his rights over and leave him alone. You dont need to stress out right now about putting someone in jail.... what if your baby takes his side when hes older and hates you for not having a dad by his side. Plus karma will come around and take care of him. As for the other chick i would cut all communications with her and live your life without drama. You and your baby will be happier without them.

lilbabythree

@kells32 Yes he would also have to register as a sex offender which would be better because then he would have stricter probation rules and someone would be keeping a closer eye on him.

brodysmamma

I would call her parents notify them and they might even possibly call cops themselves. I would call though what if that was your daughter he got pregnant or what if its a 12 year old that looks 17 next time.

babynumber02

@praying4our3 I agree that if he signs over then the babys life should stay that way. It's completely gross and immoral and he shouldnt have any kids let's alone these two or anymore. I'm just scared the baby will ask about the dad (when there older) I would call the cops. I would have done it a long time ago. It just sucks that the children's sperm donor is a piece of crap!

mommyo3soon2b4

You said his probation states he is not allowed to be near anyone under 18...does that mean he is on probation for sexual misconduct with minors?

lilbabythree

@babynumber02. Yes that is what I am scared of. Also i the child asks about his father years down the road at least I know I did the right thing. And I can let the baby know that I did the right thing. I figure I need to be an example of right because his father isnt. If he asks later thoes are questions that I wont have the answers to, but that his father needs to answer.

lilbabythree

No in my state it is general rule for probation. He could be near minors of his family but anyone outside of that he needs to have probation approval. It is mainly they dont want you hanging out with kids and gettting them in trouble with you kind of a thing.

babynumber02

Exactly! Do what you feel is the best right thing to do. I would call. But that's me. As much as its the dad fault you will have to deal with ur child's heart break. But if you don't call what other drama is the dad going to get into? It's a tough situation and I'm sorry your in it.

lilbabythree

Well I am going to try to get the courage to do it today! I have been debating it over and over in my head for about 3 weeks now. I dont know what to say and I dont want to sound like I am being a tattle tail but I dont want him doing it again.

LaFiiTz89

well first off...shes 17 n having sex with older dudes n lied about bein prego the first time. Maybe shes a skank n the baby isnt his. Just cuz SHE says hes the dad doesnt mean anything...

LaFiiTz89

But yes he is wrong for having sex with her but ive seen so much shit in my life im a see it to believe it person. Get a dna on the baby to make sure its his then turn him in..they wont do anything anyway without proof...

lilbabythree

@lafiitz89... Well if I turn him in they wont do anything until she delivers and they would do the test on the baby. But making them aware they he has sex with her at least they will test him and find out. But that wont be on me or my mind anymore once I turn him in. I will have done my part.