Breast Feeding Questions (Long)
Since the beginning of my pregnancy, I've been planning on breast feeding. I've always heard that the benefits to the baby are much greater this way and it just seems like an awesome way for mom and baby to bond. Lately, Hubby-to-Be and I have been discussing the whole idea and now, we're not so sure. He wants to be able to help feed the baby but now there are so many issues that we're looking to find solutions for.
1) Privacy for Feeding - We live in a house of 8 people, so privacy just doesn't happen. There's always someone beating on the door or demanding our attention (a lot of you have heard the stories). I'm afraid that, because of all of the constant interruptions, while I'm trying to feed him, the "bonding" just isn't going to happen.
2) Children - There are 3 other children who are currently living in the home; one suffers from a form of mental retardation. I know that, he doesn't quite understand things like everyone else does and he gets upset, easily. Because he's a little slower, there are things that he does that concern me. He tends to barge into a room without knocking on the door---if it's locked he BEATS on it until someone unlocks it. One, I don't want beating on the door like he does to scare the baby. I also don't want him to barge into the room while I'm feeding and then get frustrated/upset with what he sees...
3) Pumping - OMG! Milk in this household goes like nothing else. I've watched 3 gallons of milk be completely gone in a matter of 2 days. I know that I can pump a little extra milk for feedings later on that day but I'm absolutely terrified that one of the kids, not paying attention, is going to get ahold of the baby's milk, not knowing what it is. I mean, I know it won't hurt them, I just don't want it to happen --- especially if I'm like my mom and sister were. They barely had enough milk to make the baby's feedings; if one of the kids gets ahold of the milk, I can't guarantee that I'll have enough in me to feed him.
Some say that, based on my concerns, that formula might be a better way to go. Although it's not AS healthy for the baby, it might eliminate a lot of future "problems".
Suggestions?
1) Privacy for Feeding - We live in a house of 8 people, so privacy just doesn't happen. There's always someone beating on the door or demanding our attention (a lot of you have heard the stories). I'm afraid that, because of all of the constant interruptions, while I'm trying to feed him, the "bonding" just isn't going to happen.
2) Children - There are 3 other children who are currently living in the home; one suffers from a form of mental retardation. I know that, he doesn't quite understand things like everyone else does and he gets upset, easily. Because he's a little slower, there are things that he does that concern me. He tends to barge into a room without knocking on the door---if it's locked he BEATS on it until someone unlocks it. One, I don't want beating on the door like he does to scare the baby. I also don't want him to barge into the room while I'm feeding and then get frustrated/upset with what he sees...
3) Pumping - OMG! Milk in this household goes like nothing else. I've watched 3 gallons of milk be completely gone in a matter of 2 days. I know that I can pump a little extra milk for feedings later on that day but I'm absolutely terrified that one of the kids, not paying attention, is going to get ahold of the baby's milk, not knowing what it is. I mean, I know it won't hurt them, I just don't want it to happen --- especially if I'm like my mom and sister were. They barely had enough milk to make the baby's feedings; if one of the kids gets ahold of the milk, I can't guarantee that I'll have enough in me to feed him.
Some say that, based on my concerns, that formula might be a better way to go. Although it's not AS healthy for the baby, it might eliminate a lot of future "problems".
Suggestions?
Comments
Supplementing with formula was another option for us but both my mom and his are TOTALLY against it, for whatever reason. We thought that it was a good way to make sure that the baby gets enough to eat; our moms HATE the idea -- we live with his mom, so she's pretty much trying to run things.
I'm thinking about getting some breast feeding videos from the instructor of my birthing class to show him....maybe those will help?!?! I just don't want to traumatize him...he's very...emotional (?) when it comes to babies; they cry, he cries. It's definitely going to be, uhm, interesting...
Supplementing is a great idea also. And don't let your mom or his run the show. This is your baby! Any amount of breastmilk is better than none at all.
I also used a thin blanket over my babies when I had to feed around others. Just keep in mind that it is a natural thing and that will maybe help you feel more comfortable with doing it around others. Not to mention you will become a pro at hiding the goods you wont think twice about it.
And if one of those other kids does get hold of ur milk, it won't hurt them, and they will never make that mistake ever again, lol!!
Does anyone know what is wrong with the one child? Depending on what it is, there is free therapy and treatments out there. My bro is autistic, so I'm talkin from experience I promise. :-)
I also wanna point out that there is no shame in formula feeding. Some people just can't breast feed in the first place. It took till my 3rd baby to even make enough milk, and then I had to pump cuz my chest is just too big. So glad wic is giving me a pump this time.
I also suggest a fridge door lock on your mini fridge. It might alsol help to keep it IN your closet & just run an extension cord TO it...?
I am also super-modest, and never wanted to feed in front of anyone but my hubby; there are lots of specially designed nursing covers out there; I got one for just the shipping cost, which was $10 & it's adorable (I think it's uddercovers.com... but look up the free cover promo code on parents.com, or try parents2011? Not sure if that still works!)
Good luck! You CAN make it work if you truly want to; at least just giving it a try & having some formula on hand just in case is a great start for your baby.
As far as the little brother goes --- yes, we do know what's wrong with him; he suffers from a form of mental retardation due to an issue at birth. We have taken him to many different therapists and doctors in the area but they have pretty much concluded that, in terms of development, he is where he'll stay. We're all just trying to figure out ways to accommodate his needs without making him feel "different".
I also have a little brother who is severely autistic; it helps to have suggestions from someone who's been there.! I really appreciate it!!
Personally, I see nothing wrong with formula feeding --- and neither does anyone in my family IF I can't produce enough for the baby, which, like you said is always a possibility. All of the women in my family, however, push breastfeeding in the situation that my body will allow it. I do plan on (IF breastfeeding) pumping, so that hubby-to-be can help feed the baby and so that I do not have to deal with rude/harsh comments from others about feeding in public; some people are completely rude and disrespectful about things like that! I, too, get WIC, which will help with the cost of formula in the case that I decide to use it. Either way, the baby will be getting some sort of nutrition from my body; even if it's not enough for a full feeding!
WIC is GIVING you a pump??? LUCKY!!!
I guess I push the whole idea of bonding so much because Hubby-to-Be works 12 hour days and will miss out on a lot, until his next shift-change, a month after the baby is born.
I'm also very modest, but I think that the bond between mother and baby during feeding is a beautiful thing. I'm just concerned about hubby-to-be's little brother, who panics at the thought of the baby being covered up; his problems cause there to be little understanding about what's happening.
I REALLY appreciate the info that you shared about the covers --- I'll definitely be checking those out!
As far as covering up, they sell like a cover kit that you Can use. And pumping will allow dad to bond with feeding too.