PPD....i think i have it

So when my first was born 2 26 11 I had some issues holding her but it went away after about a week. With my second this is not the case. She was born 5 26 11 and I can't hold her. My other daughter had a cold and my newborn got it. I feel like I was the one that got her sick when I was holding her. She is getting better now but she was terrible for a day or two. I feel like she is gonna just stop breathing any minute and its gonna happen when im holding her.

To top it off my daughters pedi messed up her paperwork and thought she didn't have insurance so they refused to see a 3 wk old with a bad cough. We do have insurance and if she gets sicker I am holding them responsible bc all they cared about was insurance, I even told them to just listen to her lungs so I knew she was ok and I would just pay for it out of pocket and they wouldn't let me....by they time they figured out we had insurance my husband had already taken them to his parents an hour and a half away so we couldn't take her back.

My husband and daughters are staying back home bc I need a break. I don't wanna end up on meds but I just need time to figure out how to deal

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