-=sigh=-

Damiens_Mommy

so, my fiance and i have decided to move out of my mother's house into his mother's house and now everyone is upset and it seems like i'm being looked down on. if only they knew the whole story, if only i could tell them... but i know i can tell you all....

growing up my mom was a verbally/mentally abusive alcoholic. i moved into her house thinking she had gotten better. my little brother said she had cut down on her drinking and that it was actually tolerable to stay in her house. well, her drinking got worse after we moved in. a /lot/ worse. she is now drinking so much she can't stand up straight. she's vomiting almost every night and/or morning. hell, there's even puke all over her bathroom doors. she spends all her money on hooch, then expects me to spend what little money i have on food for the house. that money needs to go towards fixing my car. i mean, there's a tie-rod about to go out in the thing. if that goes, we lose a wheel. we have no ac, which would not be good for the baby, and a few other things that need to be fixed. does that matter to her? no, as long as she has her freaking hooch. on top of all that, i clean her house for her every day and she turns, calls my daddy, her ex husband, and tells him how worthless i am, how i never do anything to help her. i really can't stand it anymore.

so, yesterday my fiance calls his mom and tells her what's going on. well, she says 'why don't you two move up here? i mean, i know i can be demanding, and a bitch, but i never once asked you two to pay for anything while you where here' (we lived with her for a couple weeks when we first got together) well, we talked to her and decided it would be the best bet for us and for Damien for us to move in with her. we have the entire upstairs area to ourselves. which is waaaay bigger then the tiny room we live in now. we will be living right next to a big city so my fiance will be able to find a job easier. i already have one as a full time babysitter for his niece. so, yeah, things will be a lot better.

why is it then, even knowing how much better it will all be, that i feel so horrible about doing it?? -=sigh=- i confuse myself...

sorry for the long rant, this is about the only place i can let my feelings out with out my mother finding it and going ape shit about it.

blueberrysmom

Don't feel badly. You made a wise decision for many many reasons.

Damiens_Mommy

@ blueberrysmom thanks hon, i think i needed to hear that. i keep telling myself i'm doing what's right for our son. i guess i'm just dreading it all coming to a head with my mother.

prayin4aBOY

Honey don't worry about it! My mom is the same way and my dad. My entire family is basically a piece of shit. I personally have told most of my family off and no longer speak to them. Don't let it stress you out! Its best for you and baby. I lived with my mother when I first had my daughter. My parents would come home at 3:00 am and think they could come in my room and hold my newborn while they were shitfaced! I flipped! I haven't been back since!

Damiens_Mommy

@prayin4aBOY i've already decided my mom is not going to be left alone with Damien unless she can prove to me that she's stopped drinking. it only takes one night of her getting drunk and not being able to hear him cry cause he's hurt, or choking, or something for us to lose him. i will NOT risk that.

prayin4aBOY

@fae yea its scary to think about. I still love my mom and talk to her. She's even going to be at my ultrasound tomorrow, but she's knows I don't agree with her ways and if she's sober she accepts that and understands but if she's drunk she knows not to speak to me as it always results in an argument. Just don't let your family make you feel bad about it. You have your own family to worry about now!

TishJ330

Poor thing! She sounds like a wreck. Be glad you got away from there. You & your family would never be able to move forward living there. Is your brother going to be ok? Don't feel bad at all. You made the right decision & I applaud you.

lae3

dont want to sound like a counsler but ive done alot of soul searching.. in myself.. and have figured out alot of things about myself.. i grew up with drug addicted parents and one problem we kids have is a codependence with our parents.. because weve had to take care of them and constantly worry about them.. and they are or were so dependent on us.. its almost a sick dependence.. and your doing whats best for you and your child.. by getting out of that stressful situation.. just remember its not your responsibility to care for her or your family.. now that your haveing your own .. thats whats most important.. and it sounds like you have come to terms with it.. i myself went through the same thing after my first son was born.. it was so hard to do.. but i know i had to do my own thing to be the best parent i could.. and thats all you can do.. good luck girl.. your doing whats right.. and sometimes whats right is the hardest thing to do.. i hope your mom gets better.. so you can get to know the real her and not the medicated one.. i know since my mom got clean its brought us closer .. cause the truth is if i ever found out she was out doing drugs again i would have to stay away from her and protect my boys from the horror i went through..

Damiens_Mommy

@TishJ330 yeah, my lil brother will be ok. as soon as we get a place of our own up there we're going to have him move up there with us. my bd's mom knows guys in the auto-repair business and she's going to help him get a job doing what he loves.

@prayin4aBOY i'm a little worried i'm going to lose my mom all together when i tell her she can't be around her only grandchild unless she stops drinking... but i have to do what's best for him.

@lae3 thank you hon. i don't know if my mom will ever stop drinking though. she's convinced she doesn't have a problem. i'm kind of hoping that my telling her she can't be around Damien unless she stops drinking will knock some sense into her. and i know what you mean about a sick dependance. my dad was military and gone all the time. that just left me and my lil brother with her... it wasn't easy at all... hell, i raised my lil brother and he's only 5 years younger then i am.