two angels <3

edited June 2011 in Loss
I've never personally lost a baby and my heart goes out to all of you mommies who have angel babies. But I have two very important men in my life who have angels, and it makes me angry and very sad.
My brother got married when I was two. He was twenty one, so I didn't find any of this out until later, and neither did he. He wanted children more than anything. Being there was nineteen years between us, I was his little girl, but I was only his sister. The girl he married cheated on him with his best friend, and he divorced her when I was four.
When I was a junior in high school, he called me into the kitchen to talk to me. I never imagined what he would tell me. His ex-best friend and the hoe were getting a divorce because, big surprise, she cheated on him. They had two kids together. And for some reason my brother may have had to testify against her in court. He told my brother that hoebag came to him two weeks after starting the affair and said she was pregnant and didn't know who the dad was. Obviously, it was my brother. She had an abortion. My brother is now married again and trying very hard to have a baby. But with no success. It hurts to tell him things about my pregnancy, but he's happy for me. I lost a niece or nephew to a woman who may have produced my brothers only child. And my brother suffered losing his baby.
My boyfriend had a sexual relationship with a woman who was just a friend to him. She agreed to keep it strictly sex, even though she wanted more from him. He was told he most likely would never be able to have children unless he had surgery to correct a twisted tube. So he decided it was okay to not use protection. A few months later, she discovered she was pregnant. Bf was excited about the baby because he has always wanted children, but he was not excited about having it with her. She was crazy and controlling from the beginning. She demanded he make her his girlfriend, so he did. She went to the first doctor appointment and had him pay for that and the pills she needed and everything, which he was happy to do because it was his child too. As time went on, she started threatening him. If he didn't marry her he would never see the baby. The baby was going to have her last name, she decided on everything herself because it was HER baby. He did everything she said so he could see his baby. He refused to marry her, but decided to fight for his rights later when the baby came, and keep it peaceful while she was pregnant. But when he said he wasn't marrying her one day, she quit talking to him. It had been a while since he heard from her, but she finally started answering him. She went four months into her pregnancy and told him that she had an abortion. Two months prior. She pretended to be pregnant after the abortion in a desperate attempt to keep him around. And continued messing with his head saying she did, then saying she didn't have it. He finally talked to her parents and they confirmed she had it. He lost, what for all he knew, was his one freak accident at having a baby. Especially since he was told he couldn't.
She turned it around on him once he started telling people what she had done. She told everyone that he forced her to do it and then promised to be with her after. She sent emails to his boss, his friends, everyone trying to make him sound bad. But everyone knows its not true. Now, I work with him at the haunted house that she also works at. She has the nerve to run her mouth to people saying that I'm a bad person because I'm pregnant to him and he didn't make me have an abortion. Telling people he's going to do all kinds of messed up stuff to make me miscarry. But he's taken amazing care of me.
This post was not to make anyone who is for abortion angry or to start anything. This is to tell you all who have suffered loss that o kind of know where you're coming from. I sort of know the pain of loss of a baby, even though neither were mine. My heart goes to all of you and I pray for those who have lost a baby to feel peace, those who are pregnant to be healthy, and those who have children to cherish them. Also for those ttc mommies, that they get their blessing.
Thank you to all who read this. Sorry its long, and sorry if it kinds turned into a vent. I just wanted to let it out.

Comments

  • That is emotional. Im sorry what those women did to somehow get back at them. The second one is horrible. :(
  • Thank u for sharing ur story
  • Thank you @excitedforbaby. It hurts my family but it makes it easier with support from people. I appreciate you reading this. :)
  • Thank you for reading it @mylittleman2011 it means a lot.
  • I guess this can be updated. On July 1st I had a doctors appointment to check the bleed I had on my placenta. Doctor said everything looked good. Immediately following my pelvic exam, I felt pressure but figured it was round ligament. I went home and the pain got worse. I took a hot bath which made it better and went to bed. The next day I got up and went through the day with the pain off and on. Around 11pm on the 2nd I couldn't take it. The pain was constant. And I realized that at only 9 weeks, I was having contractions. I went to the er, praying for my baby. But the blood test showed my levels had gone from 29,000 to 9,000. My baby had grown wings. They made me stay over night and was scheduled to have a d&c the next day. While waiting, I guess you can say I had my baby. They made me sign a form saying they would cremate it. I felt better knowing they weren't going to just throw my fetus away. But I wish I could have the ashes. Instead the amazing nurse who took care of me gave me a blanket done by project Linus. She handed it to me and told me that these were the blankets they sent home with babies. She saw it and thought of me. It was blue green and had peace signs all over it. It was perfect. I sleep with that blanket every night and miss my baby. I've found things that help the pain. And I wish that nurse knew how much she had helped by giving me that blanket.
  • I'm so sorry. I too have lost, one miscarriage, one ectopic. I wish these things didn't happen, especially after the pain you've seen already. I hope for great things for both of your future.
  • I had a mc last year on boxing day... im really not looking forward to boxing day this year... The is nothing anyone can say to make you feel better but this is something someone said to me that always made me look at things differently....
    We carry these babies because they needed someone on earth to love them unconditionally. So although we didn't get to hold them we are giving them a gift just by being their mummys even if it wasn't for long enough

    I also believe the babies we cant keep are created to one day look over their siblings, because if the pregnancy with a lost child continued then you wouldnt have the child your destined to have at another time.

    Contact me any time if you need a chat
Sign In or Register to comment.